This week we are sharing an interview that has been impactful for many of our audience.

If it feels like your HSC is down in the dumps more than the average kid,

You’ll want to hear this.

You are not alone.

Our client Savannah knows exactly how that feels, and that feeling was HARD to work through.

Savannah’s story is common for parents who are stuck in the meltdown cycle.

She wanted to be a mom for such a long time,

And the fact that her child seemed melancholy SO often was disheartening.

She describes her HSC as feeling upset and on edge constantly,
Crying often,
And even stated that there was a lack of connection.

She felt like no matter how much she and Alan tried,
They could not meet their HSC’s needs.

She also felt like she could not help her child in the midst of a meltdown.

And that was really discouraging.

In Savannah’s words, “I felt helpless. I was failing myself and my daughter.”

On top of this, she was dealing with her own guilt of...

As a society, we love to put labels on things.

Whether it’s labeling people as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …

Labeling foods as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ …

Or putting labels on kids who don’t conform exactly to what’s expected of them.

This comes up a lot in my private practice.

Parents either come in because their kiddo has been displaying HSC-like behavior, and they think they need a diagnosis …

Or they’ve already been to another specialist, who’s diagnosed their kid with a medical condition.

(The one I hear most is ODD -- Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- which basically says your child is difficult, hostile and ‘broken.’

You can imagine just how riled up labeling a kid like that makes me!

But we’ll leave that story for another day.)

Anyway, I can understand why getting a diagnosis might give parents some comfort.

After all, if you went to the doctor with unexplained stomach...

Most parents have times when they just don’t ‘get’ their child.

And most kids think their parents are weird, too.

That’s just life!

But when you’re parenting an HSC, that disconnect can feel 100 times greater.

In fact, this is something I hear from the parents I work with a lot.

Deep down, they know a certain level of disconnect is normal.

Because when they were teens, their parents didn’t ‘get’ them.

But despite this, they start second guessing themselves -

“Surely I should have something in common with my child?”

“Is it really normal that we’re this disconnected?”

“What if the gap grows even more, and they end up resenting me, hating me, or simply drifting away?”

It’s tough, because this kind of thinking has severe consequences.

And it only gets worse as your HSC goes from a kid to a teen.

You start to criticize yourself, and wonder what you’re doing wrong.

Or maybe in order to...

Have you ever been mid-meltdown with your kiddo, only to hear someone remark -

“Kids these days!”

Or maybe you’ve been with family, and they mention something about being ‘spoiled.’

If so, I feel your pain.

Here you are, doing your best to keep the situation under control, only to have someone judge your parenting.

Even if the person saying it is well meaning, it still sucks.

Because they have no idea what you’re going through.

And as you know, comments like this are not helpful.

But do they have a point?

Is modern US culture to blame for your child’s struggles?

Or have you been spoiling them, and that’s why you’re dealing with emotional outbursts, high levels of anxiety, and a kid who struggles with things other children take in their stride?

Short answer …

No, you’re not spoiling them.

Friends and family (particularly older generations) often see an HSC and assume they’re like this because they’ve not...

I’m not a nutritionist.

And I’m not a dietitian.

But one thing I do know is that what your kid eats can have a huge impact on their behavior.

It makes sense, right?

I mean, we know as adults, if we eat crap … We feel like crap!

And if we eat good, healthy, nutritious foods, we have better focus, more energy, and actually want to do things.

Same goes for your kiddo.

Managing their nutrition can be tough at the best of times though.

And with Halloween just around the corner, I know a lot of parents are going to be seriously worried.

We see it every year in my Facebook group.

The questions come flooding in:

“My child loves Halloween, but I’m dreading the way she’ll behave after eating all that candy.”

“Should I let them go trick or treating with friends? They so want to go, but I know the after effects won’t be pretty.”

“We generally try to keep my son away from sugar, but it’s so difficult around Halloween.

...

Ever heard a professional talk about how it’s a good thing for your kiddo to “get their emotions out?”

By which they mean scream, yell and have a meltdown.

They’ll say things like -

“Well, they’re opening up to you, and telling you how they really feel.”

Or they might say it’s taking the lid off a pressure cooker, to reduce the tension.

In theory, this might make sense.

But here’s the thing -

This approach is like teaching your child how to digest food by making them vomit!

Now, I know that’s a gross analogy, but go with me for a minute.

You’d never tell your kiddo that throwing up after a meal was a sign of healthy digestion.

If that started happening, you’d look for a solution, FAST.

Well, it’s the same for their emotions.

You don’t want your HSC to vomit up their emotions …

You want them to ‘digest’ them.

Why?

Because while we want our kids to express themselves, and to feel...

A stressed out Mom posted this in our Facebook group recently:

“Has anyone else ever discovered clothing to be a really hard issue with your HSC?”

“I’m about to lose my mind finding clothing that works and my son will wear. Does anyone have any tips?

I just ordered the same exact pants he’s worn for months and he put them on and immediately threw them off because they didn’t feel right.

I’m thinking maybe because they were new and hadn’t been washed a ton of times yet?”

Now, I know this is a common issue, because we see it in our coaching practice a lot.

But I gotta be honest, the response to the post shocked me.

Because even I was amazed how many parents said they deal with this, too.

From issues like not wanting to wear anything new, because it felt weird …

To refusing to wear any socks with seams …

Even not wanting to wear clothes that were too dirty … Or too clean!

People were commenting like there was no...

Do you ever feel embarrassed by your kid’s behavior?

If so … You’re not alone.

Being embarrassed is a normal part of parenting.

But with an HSC, that embarrassment can be on another level.

Not only do embarrassing situations crop up more frequently …

They can also be way more intense.

So it’s normal to spend a lot of your time feeling red-faced, ashamed, and worrying that everyone’s looking at you.

Or worse … Judging you.

Believe me, here at my coaching practice, we’ve heard it all.

From kids ramming carts into displays when grocery shopping, because they didn’t get their way …

To having screaming incidents in the middle of church …

Or even cursing at random strangers.

And, while most kids grow out of this naturally, that’s definitely not the case with HSCs.

Even the smaller stuff, like refusing to compete in sports, or not showing you any affection while other kids are giving their Moms and Dads hugs and...

Megan and her husband Paul were at their wits end and had run through three different therapists in two years!

They were starting to think that their five year old was just going to be one of those kids that just isn't parentable, until they stumbled upon our work and had a call with us. 

In that conversation, they learned what was possible and what was available to their family. 

Megan & Paul were able to do the work to break out of the pattern of daily, multiple times a day meltdown cycle with their daughter that they have been dealing with since she was 18 months old. 

I'm not here to tell you that it was easy. 

Megan and Paul were skeptical of our work together for several weeks into the program. 

Yet they still were able to achieve the results we're talking about. 

We're here to support you and make this simple but it doesn't mean that it’ll be easy.

Breaking out of this pattern requires you to change the way that you think about your...

Thinking of taking your HSC to therapy?

If so … Don’t do ANYTHING until you read this blog.

Now, I want to preface this by saying, I never make sensationalist comments for the sake of it.

That’s not my style.

I want to give you help and advice, not be ‘controversial’ in order to generate engagement.

That’s why you know I’m being deadly serious when I say that therapy could be ruining your child’s emotional intelligence.

Whether we’re talking about ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) …

PCIT (Parent-Child Interaction Therapy) …

Or even something like sticker charts …

None of these help to eliminate meltdowns.

Why?

Well, traditional therapy uses a reward structure.

It rewards good behavior, and punishes bad behavior.

You might do that when you’re training a dog … But not when you’re parenting your kiddo.

The problem with this approach is that it focuses purely on stopping the symptom.

Let’s...