RESULTS

The results demonstrated on this page are from committed parents who are willing to go above and beyond for their child's emotional well being. These are real clients who showed up like rockstars and did the work. No one was compensated for their testimonial.

The biggest mindset block I have shifted thinking from 'this is how our son is, he is being manipulative, trying to get his way, really stubborn and frustrating' to 'he is trying his best, he is not doing this on purpose, and he CAN do better. He doesn't want to get this angry, he doesn't want to be mean to me or his Dad or baby sister. And having evenings without meltdowns are possible. We still have evening meltdowns at times, but we almost NEVER have meltdowns before school anymore. This was one of the top things on my list we wanted to work towards! We are no longer starting our days in 'fight or flight' panic mode
A measurable outcome is, I have such a better understanding of how our son operates, in terms of how he processes information, how he may get overwhelmed with different senses, transitioning activities. It is no longer random when he has a meltdown, because I know the triggers, and I know he is highly sensitive without a doubt.
By validating him in the morning times before school, we have gone from daily meltdowns and fights, to waking up and sticking to the routine, validating his feelings, and then getting on our way ON TIME. Literally 5x a week morning meltdowns to 0. There are still tears sometimes, or the "I don't want to go to school", and we validate, I don't rush him through his emotions, and then he moves on to getting dressed. It's such a huge weight that has been lifted.
The biggest outcome of working with MTC was mindset and validation (for not just our son but ourselves) are the two biggest ones. I came into this assuming there would be certain steps we take during our son's meltdown, or things we need to coach him on, not really thinking about the work we need to do on ourselves or how we change our interaction with him.
Also, not feeling so alone as parents. Hearing all of the other parent's go through similar situations, and not feeling like there is something wrong with us as parents or our child. And that perfection is NOT the goal. I have to remind myself of that in my own life, and also with our son.
One unexpected results from our work was a lot of these learnings are applicable in how we communicate as spouses, and validating our feelings to each other. A lot of times, it felt like marriage counseling because I would constantly hear, I'm doing more than my husband on this, I'm ahead of him in the modules', and just going back to the mindset that we are ongoing at different paces. It's not a competition, and we can share this information with our spouses, we can validate during an argument, and we can also get on the same page when it comes to our son.
I also wasn't expecting to implement mindset as much as I have been OUTSIDE of being a parent. I try to do it at work or anytime during the day that I'm overwhelmed, by gazing, and finding a place of contentment.
Some of our goals we accomplished during bootcamp are less chaotic mornings, less negotiating (working on NO negotiating) ;), not walking on eggshells around our son, gaining time back from no longer worrying 'what is wrong with our son', and researching different behavior specialists, getting on the same parenting page as my husband and recognizing that we are doing the best we can as parents for our son.
Our next objective is getting to a place where we can reduce Mason's anger when he doesn't get his way, so he doesn't throw things or hit. Also still working on getting him to not withhold and be more consistent with going to the bathroom. He has made big improvements here, now that he recognizes feelings in his body.
Lindsey, mom of 2 from California. Joined Bootcamp in November 2022.
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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I was struggling with my daughter having meltdowns constantly over screen time, social situations, homeschooling, my parents also having a hard time with the same, as well as processing my own intense overwhelm & feelings of helplessness in having to trudge through those situations. I felt very lost in the mix.
 
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I thought my daughter was intentionally giving me a hard time, wanting her way, that she knew what she was doing was wrong and that she knew how not to continue the behaviors, but was ignoring me. I was mentally blocked regarding taking the time to process those feelings and approach from a different - more understanding perspective.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of us working together.
We've had days/ weeks of no meltdowns. I immediately noticed she was very responsive to talking about her feelings, and it was like a lightbulb went on for both of us when we realized that talking about feelings is good. Incorporating mindset work was the powerful shift we both needed. The biggest improvement has been that my daughter now recognizes her overwhelm in most situations, and she has been able to actively come to me to express that overwhelm and asks me how or what she can do to shift out of those feelings and do more productive things. This has literally blown my mind. She has absorbed what we've been learning, and she is thriving and continues seeking out what is making her feel better (self-expression, art, more physical activity, making friends, wanting to go out (whoa!), writing down her thoughts in a notebook, channeling her energy into creating things, talking to others about her feelings openly - without the fear of judgement. She has opened up in ways that I never imagined. Watching this in her, has also opened my eyes and affected my other relationships positively thus far. It has allowed me to advocate for her needs in situations where I would have been afraid to do so in the past. Slowing down and really incorporating that mindfulness component, and injecting parenting strategies where needed, has been so effective for us. Putting in the work has been tough, but at the same time, a welcomed challenge. It feels good to do the hard stuff and see such incredible reward. It feels even better to be presented with the hard behaviors (which have become infrequent) and knowing that I have skills I can practice with - seeing those challenges as opportunities, instead of roadblocks.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together? 
100% it has been learning about Mindfulness and how I can implement it in my daily life, routines, schedule it, and even just do it naturally whenever I feel it's needed. Teaching my daughter about mindfulness, and self-expression in healthy ways. Both of us learning that it's important and okay to set limits for ourselves and each other for our mental health.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
YES! We have learned to enjoy new things, seeking them out instead of being fearful of the unknown because of discomfort - knowing we can make decisions to continue or change course if we feel something isn't right for us (limit setting). All of this is rubbing off on my parents too and that's been amazing to watch. We used to be so fearful and now we are tackling tough things because we know we can do those hard things.

What dreams have you accomplished during Bootcamp? 
What's possible with more peace? Wow... For starters, there's very little whining in the house now. We can go out without tons of accommodations. My kiddo is welcoming being in crowds now, because she knows she can set her own limits and share that with grown-ups, and she's learning how to manage the overwhelm and ask for help. She is more open to talking to kids and introducing herself. She has tried some new foods. Though she didn't end up liking or eating them, still a huge step we're excited about. Bedtime is great!!! Holy moly. I was able to have an open conversation with my parents about our needs and they were so receptive. We can also speak about Dad without that intense anxiety we both had. The conversations are light and airy now, and do not have that heavy cloud over us. We're working on the rest of our list, but we've come so far in such a short time. I'm proud of the milestones reached and excited to see what's to come with continued practice.

What's your next objective to achieve? 
I'd love to see some more autonomy in following our daily schedule in the future - which I know will happen naturally when the time is right. We would love to go camping sometime and see how that goes! Would like to implement more outdoor activities. Will be continuing on the path to increasing mindfulness for my daughter and playing the games, which she really loves.
 
Krystle from Florida. Single mom who joined bootcamp in October 2022
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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
(HSC)'s behavioral and emotional difficulties along with my confidence as a parent. Also, being about to communicate better with Jon regarding parenting issues.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That (Husband) was holding us back. That if I didn't parent perfectly I would screw up (HSC).
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
Meltdown intensity decreased. (Husband) communicating with me more frequently and effectively.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Growing my confidence and trusting myself.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
How deeply my emotions run in regards to parenting and wanting (HSC) to be happy.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Still working on those 20. I can breathe more. I can understand that (HSC)'s behavioral and emotional difficulties do not mean I am a bad parent.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Next goal would be focusing on verbal aggression.
M from Minnesota. Started bootcamp in September 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Understanding a highly sensitive child and providing specialized support to parent our HSC. Intense meltdowns, car rides, sleep, vacations/going out in public.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

That she was never happy and wanted things to go her way all the time She hates Daddy.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Taking her out more in the store. (Dad) not taking things personally and understanding that she is having a hard time. Decrease in the longer more intense meltdowns, improved interactions with her, and being able to advocate for her needs more with others.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

(Dad) not taking things personally. Having more of a game plan to handle the intense moments and strategies to prevent them.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Her listening to and verbalizing her choice when given options.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

Taking out shopping more, visit family and friends with less meltdowns, less screaming in the car, Daddy can help more without asking for Mom as much, walking or sitting in cart/stroller. We can continue to work on getting out more and less isolation.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Better sleep, outdoor boundaries, more peace and fun vacations.

Amanda from Georgia. Started bootcamp in September 2022. 

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

We struggled with a lot- embarrassment about public meltdowns, not knowing how to help our HSC and not make things worse in the process.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

We assumed that our HSC was being defiant on purpose. We thought that we would just have to deal with his meltdowns and do our best to not put ourselves in situations where things could go badly.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

We definitely have a better understanding of (HSC)'s needs. This has been very helpful in remembering that he is not being difficult, but rather having a hard time. The frequency of meltdowns has also decreased.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

The way we deal with (HSC) has changed drastically. We see him differently. We understand that he is struggling and want to help him, instead of getting frustrated that he is being disobedient and being difficult on purpose.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

I am ok with being late, leaving early or missing out entirely if that what (HSC) needs. I was surprised that this came so quickly, as being punctual has been important (and sometimes a struggle) for our family.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

After school has improved drastically. Homework time has decreased from 4+ hours to around 30-60 minutes without meltdowns. We also feel more comfortable visiting family in their homes. These are huge wins for us!

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

We will continue to play the feelings games to help (HSC) to be able to express his emotions more often.

Jennifer, mother of 9 year old HSC. Started Bootcamp September 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I felt like my relationship with (HSC) was deteriorating and I was struggling with being present with her (and myself) when volume and emotions were high.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I struggled with unhelpful assumptions that she was choosing her behaviors and got caught in negative futuristic thinking about changing that pattern.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
I've significantly improved my relationship with (HSC) and I've greatly increased my understanding of her needs. I've also increased my understanding of my own emotions.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Recognizing and working towards a much healthier relationship with feelings.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Improved relationship with my partner, better personal mental health, and healthier understanding of my own feelings.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Here are the goals that we've achieved and are continuing to get better at!
1)  Be able to learn/ask more about P's day and experiences, without fearing that things might get worse by bringing it up.
2) Have a full bedtime routine without pushback and frustration.
3) Go on a parents'-trip or night out without worrying that another care provider will run into meltdowns.
4) Seeing her introduce herself to another person (kids and adults).
5) Being able to share a skill or coach her in a skill. We both have fun and no one throws the bat/bike/glove/etc.
6) We have the energy, understanding and skill to love our kids in the way they most need. They feel understood.
7) P comes to one of us and says "I had a hard day" and believes we can help. 8) I look at her and just love her, instead of feeling watchful and on edge.
9) We understand her well enough to anticipate her needs, and we can advocate well for her.
10) We know her, and trust her to go out in the world as her wonderful self. We don't wonder if she acts "like this" (meltdowns, shut-downs) with others.
11) P's sibling gets equal time and attention. He knows his feelings matter. He doesn't feel responsible for keeping the peace.
12) I look forward to helping P when she's encountering a problem, rather than immediately thinking about how to not make it worse.
13) We plan an activity as a family and usually get to do it.
14) P is OK delaying or postponing something that she wants to do.
15) Hair brushing without overwhelm.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
We've moving from meltdowns with hitting/throwing towards much shorter, less frequent meltdowns with shouting. It's working!
F.S. from Minnesota, father of 8 year old HSC. Joined bootcamp September 2022.
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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Struggling with meltdowns, physical aggression and angry outbursts, angry language. A kid who can't handle his big emotions.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

We didn't know if or how we could help him to handle his emotions and be happy and feel good about himself. Now we can see a path forward to where he will get better and better at handling his emotions and where he will have improved self esteem.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Meltdowns are so short now that they are probably more like outbursts. Negative self talk is much less intense and less frequent. (HSC) willingly talks about feelings. It is getting easier to validate his feelings and his intense feelings seem to dissipate much easier when we talk with him. We feel like we understand him and we feel more connected with him.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

A sense of confidence and purpose in our parenting.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

We are feeling more confident and capable as parents, positive sibling interaction, less walking on eggshells, better visit with grandparents, (HSC) is no longer trying to refuse to go to school, (HSC) is showing more resilience. We are able to engage in family activities with less conflict, for example we're playing football together and Isaiah is not quitting or getting angry at us. We are talking about our feelings more often and feeling more connected. We are not resorting to punishment and are working through difficulties through talking and showing understanding and love. We are much more optimistic about Isaiah's future. We still have a lot of work to do but we can see that we can accomplish our list of 20 if we stay on this path.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

To use the things we have learned (especially validation, feelings games, quiet time, and role play) to keep improving Isaiah's ability to handle his big feelings and build his confidence.

Tracy, mom of 10 year old HSC. Joined bootcamp in September 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Mom: Struggling with (Husband) on how to parent our kids. Especially (HSC).

Dad: Not understanding how to parent (and co parent) my youngest son

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

Mom: (Husband) won't change, or doesn't want to.

Dad: Getting over the fact that I made so many mistakes and caused so much of the drama and well being of my family.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Mom: (Husband) doesn't yell at the kids as much. He's able to stay calm during a tough time for (HSC) and help him through his emotions.

Dad: My son comes to me now with problems (not all the time but more and more) where he was worried I would yell or get made at him. I still make mistakes but he now communicates with me more frequently and easier.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Mom: Having hope for our family. Seeing (Husband) and I working together.

Dad: My relationship with my wife has improved, it feels like we are on the same page more often.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Mom: Understanding how mindset effects everything. I'm using it for all the kids to help them know who they are, and what they are capable of.

Dad: My ability to understand my older children has improved. I thought I was doing a great job with Maggie and Anton but they where just not showing me there problems or they just hid them and kept them bottled up (like I used to) - I didn't realize it until I started using the tools with them also.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

Mom: (Husband) and I are able to talk without it turning into a fight. There is less anxiety in the house.

Dad: We are doing why more things as a family than I ever expected.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Mom: Improving the relationships between the siblings.

Dad: I still need more time to work through what we are doing... I still am having issues with leaving the family for work being gone and resting back into the flow.

J.M. and Aaron, parents of 3, from Wisconsin. Started bootcamp in August 2022. 

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Dad: We chose to work with you because it seemed like the best fit for our needs. We were struggling with handling the big emotions and not enough knowledge on hsc
Mom: Understand (HSC)'s behaviors and emotions, enjoying time together with Everett, and participating in social activities with Everett, helping Everett feel happy
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Dad: My biggest mindset block was that (HSC) has more control of his emotions than he really has.
Mom: I have overcome thinking that (HSC) wants to be the way he is. I see his pain and disappointments now.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
Dad: There are many. I've explained to people that just reading/ hearing the traits of an HSC have given me a much better understanding of why my son does what he does. This has helped me to look at him differently. When he asked me the same question over and over it's not because he is trying to annoy me. It's because he really needs to know every aspect of the topic. We are paying attention to the win days way more than we used to. We had them before but they were overshadowed by the full day meltdowns. Now I have more compassion knowing he is struggling and we are working together.
Mom: (HSC) is more independent and manages his time better. He takes pride over being responsible for things more. I understand what he is feeling and what he needs more
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Dad: The q & a calls.
Mom: I have more hope than I did before and feel more equipped to support (HSC). (HSC) seems in control of himself more than before and is sometimes more flexible.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Dad: We didn't expect to find out his feelings on certain things that we may not have ever found out before.
Mom: (HSC) has come up with positives in the midst of disappointment and frustration. I didn’t expect that to happen yet until other things were fixed first.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Dad: One of the things on our list was for (HSC) to receive a gift without being mean, disappointed or dissatisfied. We just had two occasions when he received gifts and it went really well.
Mom: (HSC) has enjoyed opening gifts from people. He has been able to talk about and recognize that we aren’t mad at him when he thinks we should be. We understand his emotions more. We have more confidence when setting limits. Everett is more independent
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Dad: To work on being more comfortable with talking about feelings without the fear of shame or anger.
Mom: For (HSC) to no longer feel like he wants to die.
Russell and Brianna, parents of 8 year old in Arizona. Joined bootcamp in August 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Getting out the door in a timely manner without meltdowns. If we didn't push things and walked on egg shells it took 1.5-2 hours. If we pushed at all 75% of the time there were long meltdowns and it took us 1.5-2 hours to get out of the house.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

(HSC) was not capable of handling disappointment.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Meltdowns are much shorter (5-15 minutes instead of 45-60 minutes). We are able to get up and out of the house in 45-60 minutes (sometimes even faster). I have deeper empathy for (HSC). I no longer believe (HSC) is fragile. I have more grace for myself. I have a deeper understanding of how my own emotions feel in my body and am starting to notice that before reacting.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

That's tough! I just have to say two things: Learning more and better ways to validate. Learning skills for examining my assumptions and mindset.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Understanding and learning more about my own emotions and seeing how that trickles down to (HSC).

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

Get out of the house on time. No longer avoid activities/trips due to fear of meltdowns over unexpected/uncontrollable things that could lead to meltdowns. Starting to hold respectful boundaries on the amount of time spent playing with (HSC) when there are other household chores or work that need to be down. Less fear and dread of big emotions. I spend less time feeling like I'm failing as a parent.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Continue to work on health, effective ways to respond to disappointment.

Allison, mom of 5 year old. Joined bootcamp in July 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Meltdowns 2-3x per day lasting up to 20 minutes each

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

My biggest mindset block I have overcame is that he was purposely giving me a hard time vs he was having a hard time. When I was able to view the meltdowns in that light and realize he was struggling, it provided me with the empathy I needed in order to help him work through them without getting angry.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

I feel like I have lots of these! We went from meltdowns 2-3x per day to up to 4 days with no meltdowns at all, and on days that he does have meltdowns it's usually only one that lasts 2-3 min instead of up to 20! I have noticed an improved relationship with both him and I and him and my husband. He is more willing to talk about his feelings and able to tell us what he needs/when he is frustrated/how we can help him. He is also able to (for the most part) stop himself from hitting his sister when he is mad and instead say "I don't like her doing that" and ask for help!

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Learning to have my mindset in place FIRST so I can calmly control my own emotions before expecting my son to control his.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

He has been sweeter and more loving towards his baby sister in general (more empathy!)

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

3. Able to give more attention to (little sister)

4. Significant conversations with improved eye contact

5. Able to let (HSC) and dog outside alone

6. More intimate marriage (more unity)

7. Get to sleep quicker

8. Day trips with no meltdowns!!!

9. Able to verbalize overwhelm during activity instead of after

10. Haven't had to leave anywhere because of a meltdown in over a month!

11/17. (HSC) is playing very well with his peers and not exhibiting any inappropriate behavior at school

12. Have gone out to eat many times with no meltdowns

14. Definitely connecting a lot more emotionally with both kiddos

15. Decreased stress/anxiety for everyone AND we know how to manage it when it does occur

16. Planning an overnight trip without the kiddos in November!

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

We are planning to start working on having a more respectful tone of voice when he is frustrated/angry

Tiffany, mother of 4 year old. Joined bootcamp in July 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

The uptick in aggressive behavior toward our HSC's younger sister and us and feeling like we were overwhelmed with trying so many parenting strategies that weren't ultimately "effective."

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

Letting fear (of the unknown, past mistakes, being embarrassed/ashamed, of failure) encroach too much in my parenting language and behavior and ultimately, affecting my bond with my child...

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

I have seen/noticed more positive interactions between siblings, an increase in familiarity and acceptance of a quiet time routine, and an increase in myself feeling hopeful, empowered, and resilient.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

The timing of this is helpful for our family dynamic and will help us navigate future challenges with a unified approach that we can both understand and work on.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

I wasn't expecting the mindfulness component, but it's core to the effectiveness of the strategies and sets this program apart. I suppose an unexpected result branching off of that would be paying attention and being more intentional about my spiritual practices that already form a key structure and meaningful aspect of my life.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

Looking over our list, there are many items that we feel more equipped to work on that are important like continuing to employ calming tools to avoid agression and meal-time challenges. Here are a few that we can cross off: identify his emotions and causes of them and recognize the emotions of others; recount positive aspects of his school day; be open to enjoying new activities, learning new skills or taking suggestions; having Daniel use resources sparingly - like hand soap, toilet paper, etc.; be able to fall asleep without one of us needing to be in the room at night until he is fast asleep.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Thanks to coach's advice, we'll be honing in on the physical agression as our #1 priority. I've noticed it's less frequent and we feel more equipped to both prevent it at times and handle it positively after the fact, but it's still a tension and safety concern affecting the family dynamic and our relationship.

Beth who started bootcamp in May 2022. 

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
5yo HSC was having daily or very regular intense meltdowns that were increasing in intensity and duration. I kept defaulting and having meltdowns of my own when it wasn't 'working'. I felt ill-equipped to deal with the scale of Isaac's behaviour and my parents told me they could no longer look after the kids alone because he was too volatile.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That I was not capable of parenting this type of child or staying calm for my child, and that my HSC needed to know this type of behaviour was not acceptable.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
We have gone from worst case scenario 1-3 meltdowns per day, to 1-3 per month. This is directly correlated to how much we are intentional with implementing the course material. (Dad) has an hugely improved relationship with HSC which has taken some of the load off me. HSC seems to feel better understood. He has started expressing his feelings verbally and is more open to talking about feelings in general. We have also had insight into the sensory needs of our other child and will be able to support him using the course material too.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Having something structured that directly addressed the needs of our family and walked us step by step through implementing change. I have spent years looking into how we should parent our children - gently, confidently, calmly, with boundaries etc. Some things helped but nothing quite hit the mark. I always felt like it was meant for other 'types' of kids and couldn't work out how to help our children better. This took all the thinking out of it for me and started at the root - my state of mind! It's been life changing to have something we can work on as a family that provides so much informed structure and guidance. Everything we have learnt/heard/read has hit the nail on the head for us.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
(Dad)'s improved relationship with HSC - seeing HSC so much more receptive to (Dad) as a parent has been really interesting and not something I anticipated.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
1. Less intense and much less regular meltdowns
2. We are nearly at the stage of easier solo parenting
3. Less concerned about the impact of school on HSC as more tools to manage it
4. Better sibling relationship
5. HSC feels more secure and understood
6. More gratitude, peace, joy in parenting
7. I am a more playful parent. I've noticed I get there automatically (it surprises me) rather than having to try really hard to be playful!
8. More confidence in my ability to parent my children and in how I choose to parent
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
1. To be more consistent and have a rhythm of using the tools we have learned, so that things don't start to drop.
2. For me to practice mindfulness more regularly so my defaults start to shift.
3. For (Dad) to deepen his understanding of the material, why it's important and how to use it (he is on board but has found it harder to engage).
4. For (Son) to grow in his understanding of his feelings and how to manage them, and to feel more capable doing that.
5. For (Son) to have his needs met and feel more like part of the family (when we have paid so much attention to Isaac for so long).
Christina M. from Aldershot, Hampshire, UK. Joined bootcamp in May 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Feeling lost/helpless around HSC meltdowns

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

Better understanding how and why the meltdowns are/were occurring, understanding my role and how to stay the thermostat.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Meltdown length and intensity has decreased. Bigger changes in my mindset and reactions and behaviors before/during and after the meltdowns. Win that I don’t feel like we are walking on eggshells shells. Our HSC is still having big feelings but I’m now not scared of them or feeling I don’t know what to do. I now have tools in my tool box and a plan. And that feels really good.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Understanding how to set limits for our HSC.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Stronger co-parenting and identifying that as parents we both feel we are likely HSPs.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

Going on vacation with friends and their child, feeling an overnight at grandfather’s house is possible.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Continue to implement our learning and strategies from weeks 5 and 6 (there is a lot there that we are still working on).

Danielle from California. Started bootcamp in April 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Dad: Constant meltdowns and fighting over everything. We couldn't do anything as a family.
Mom: (Son) was shutting down. I was desperate to help him. Everything was becoming a fight. I could see and feel his suffering. I was having panic attacks and could not sleep. I knew something was wrong and the way we were responding was making it worse. I knew what he needed but I didn't know how to make it happen. We needed professional help.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Dad: The mindset that he is having a hard time has helped me tremendously. It gives both myself and Lori the ability to stay calm and understanding during a meltdown. The biggest celebration we are having right now is a great summer. We both work and both kids are home for the summer, and so far it has been fantastic...far better than last summer and far better than I had hoped for. We are actually enjoying summer!
Mom: I didn't think we were capable of creating a peaceful home. I didn't think I would be able to stop yelling and stop being reactive. 
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
Dad: Per previous question...SUMMER! Summer is enjoyable. We stressed all spring about having to go through a summer with the kids at home while we work. It has been great. They have mostly gotten along and Brady has largely entertained himself. We are looking forward to our long weekend trips, which are usually a source of stress.
Mom: I was able to rebuild trust with (Son) by learning how to stay calm when he is struggling. By understanding that he is having a hard time, not being a jerk. Knowing when to to validate him and when to just sit with him and be a source of comfort. He no longer has the tics that he was previously having. I'm sure these were a result of the anxiety he was experiencing.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Dad: Mindset that he is having a hard time and not giving us a hard time.
Mom: The mindset work. This 8 week course did more for me than what 25 years of off and on therapy ever did. I was able to get my sh!t together and not be so reactive. I see myself transitioning to a more positive thinker.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Dad: How fast things initially turned was surprising. There is still much work to do, and I think progress slowed, but at first there was a distinct change very quickly, which was surprising.
Mom: I didn't know how much this program focused on the parents. I didn't expect to work on myself while learning how to support (Son).
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?
Dad: Summer vacations and getting a sitter and going out with Lori without worrying he will meltdown
Mom: Our mornings are stress free. Evening routine is seamless. Kids have been playing more together. Car rides are more peaceful. I wake up and he is not the first thing on my mind. I've taken both kids to grocery store. I don't cringe when Jeff asks to go golfing. Jeff and I have gone on a date.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Dad: Continued progress. There is still a long way to go. I would like to see Brady have more tolerance and a better relationship with his sister.
Mom: To be more fun as a family. I'm so focused on trying to learn these skills so that they become the new norm. I eat, sleep, and breathe this material. I want to get to a place where it doesn't feel so effortful and focus on having fun with my kids. They need it.
Lori and Jeffery from Florida. Started bootcamp in April 2022. 
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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

I was feeling worried that I didn't know how to help (Son) work through his meltdowns, had no idea where to turn and felt like I was also in need of some work as I was feeling incredibly anxious/frustrated/overwhelmed.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

That I had to "fix something wrong" with (Son); also trying to figure out what I did wrong to "make this happen" for us.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Implementing quiet time has been a HUUUUGE success for both of us and I think since we started QT during bootcamp, we've 1, maybe 2 days at most. It's been so helpful to do regularly, and I've gotten to where we've had a couple of events recently and I prepared us to do it before and after event to allow both of us that time to calm ourselves prior to overstimulation and to regroup ourselves afterwards. I have noticed on multiple occasions where previously things could have developed into total, intense meltdowns and thankfully were able to make it through with mild upset/frustration and quick to move on or no meltdown at all. Understanding that I haven't done anything wrong to "make this happen" and knowing that I can help (Son) to find his way so he can navigate through his emotions in appropriate ways.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Having the support of others who literally know exactly what it's like raising and HSC and being and HSP yourself; I literally thought I was crazy or something when I would think about meltdowns and how we got to such an extreme "event" …it's been so incredibly wonderful to find out I'm not crazy and there are so many others who are going through very similar circumstances <3

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

The mindfulness work for myself; I know I've still got work to do AND I am grateful for the experiences you guys have offered to get us jump started on this. It was a lot more intense than what I imagined it would be. It's so important to have my mind right before I can think about helping (Son)

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

One of my goals is to have a day filled with love, laughter and joy (ie no meltdowns) and we have had a couple of those days since starting bootcamp! Another goal was for (Son) to recognize when he's starting to feel upset & be able to calm himself; while not 100% of the time, it is happening!

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

To know that when I drop him off at school or with any family member/friend that he will be able to manage his emotions and articulate what he's feeling to the responsible adult who will support him effectively.

J.P. from New Hampshire. Joined bootcamp in April 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Not being able to help my daughter manage her emotions. She had a panic attack and I knew I had to change what we were doing because it wasn't working.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Believing in this process. Overcoming that this isn't the traditional ways of doing things and that is okay. Overcoming that something was wrong with my daughter and she was doing this to us on purpose.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
We are currently in middle of 1 meltdown in the past 20 days, which is amazing. Both my children are identifying and talking about their emotions more. My husband and I are on the same page because we are following the same strategies. It has helped our communication with each other, not just about the children, but about ourselves!
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
More positive mindset
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
More belief in myself, stronger, more positive mindset, sharing my deepest concerns and feelings with people who I hardly know.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
While we haven't achieved that many, we are closer to all and they all seem possible and within reach
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
For (Daughter) and (Son), more on processing their feelings, feeling safer and more confident in themselves. Helping (Husband) and (Daughter) repair and grow their relationship.
Danielle from New York. Joined bootcamp in April 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Not understanding Hunter and his behavior. Ultimately, I struggled with how to parent him.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

My biggest assumption was that he was doing it on purpose. He was choosing to be aggressive and disrespectful.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

I understand Hunter better now. For example, he was putting up a fight this morning about going to camp. Saying it was boring, etc. but after validation I figured out he was scared he wouldn’t know anyone this week. That’s huge for us!

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Seeing Hunter in a different way has been a positive change in our relationship.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?

I don’t feel anything has fully been 100% accomplished but I’m hopeful we will get there

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Decrease jealousy/rivalry with Hunter and his little brother

K.S. from Florida. Joined bootcamp in April 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Dealing with our daughter and my assumption that she was a bully.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

Probably that she just needed more strict discipline to correct bad behavior.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Definitely improve relationship with our child and the whole family harmony.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

The future path of our family has been changed significantly. Well I can’t say for sure I do know that it was not headed towards an extremely positive way. I do believe now that we will all be all right.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

I learned that that my lack of empathy was more due to an ego that I held onto

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

We were able to go places and my wife and I both are on board on how to help deal with the meltdowns we know that will occur.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

For my wife and I to become masters on this and increase our abilities over the next year

Jerad from Indiana. Started bootcamp March 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Lifetime support with our highly sensitive daughter. We were struggling with frequent meltdowns without tools to help ourselves or our daughter.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That the meltdowns were a form of manipulation.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
(Daughter) has been meltdown free for over 2 weeks. I have come to better understand her by better understanding myself as a highly sensitive person. This has allowed me to have greater empathy in many situations.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Tools for us as parents to help our whole family communicate and express our feelings more effectively. This has led to more peace in our home. It's not perfect, but we are improving!
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I did not expect to find out that I was highly sensitive, as well. This realization has helped me understand myself better and has also helped my husband better understand me. It really has helped the whole family.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
1) School days without meltdowns, 7)Positive, encouraging journal entries, 9)Increased patience with each other, 10) No meltdowns when faced with "no" 15) Give and receive hugs unrelated to calming meltdowns...and many more are well on their way. All are within reach now that we have more peace in our home. The journey continues.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Continue to work on our interactions with each other - noticing when we are escalating in the 3 or 4 range and taking action to avoid emotional dysregulation.
Mom from Arizona. Started working with MTC in March 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Daily Meltdowns and uncertainty as to how to handle them
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I used to think that I did something to cause the meltdowns and that I couldn't handle parenting through meltdowns.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
23 days of no meltdowns, stress free family time, more open communication with all family members, increase in understanding of our children's needs, willingness to take on new challenges or experiences without the fear of meltdowns
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
The mindset shift
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Yes, the mindset work was unexpected and I've benefited from the mindfulness in many areas of my life outside of parenting.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
We have stopped meltdowns so we either have or can achieve all of our list of 20, which was mostly experiences we wanted to have a a family. We also have a much more peaceful home in general where our HSC feels comfortable and understood. We have the tools to help her through meltdowns when she does have one.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Continue making feelings fun and work more on incorporating feelings games. Then, implementing ways for the kids to help out around the house.
C from Virgina, joined bootcamp March 2022
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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
To figure out how to have our HSC stop physically harming her 2 year old brother.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
We were assuming that (Daughter) was giving us a hard time and actively wanting to hit her brother and me (Megan). We were assuming she was choosing to be hurtful and manipulative.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
We have definitely shifted our focus from (Daughter) is giving us a hard time to we now know she's having a hard time. We know she feels misunderstood and needs us to help her feel heard and safe. We are on a new pattern of 2-3 good day, 2 bad days, etc. We are excited to see this shift progress into more good days than bad days. We definitely feel closer to (Daughter) in the sense that her meltdowns make more sense to us now.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
The mindset work - hands down. The group coaching calls were also very helpful to hear Megghan elaborate on the modules and connect other people's experiences to our own. The Zendesk responses were also very helpful when we used those.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I (Megan) have even been able to shift my mindset at work - not something I expected. I am more positive and grateful.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?
We have seen the beautiful glimpses more often during Bootcamp of what (Daughter) and our family is capable of. Before bootcamp we would never seen 2+ days in a row of no physical aggression. Now, we see the glimpses, we know she and we are capable of so much more and we have a deep desire to maintain that.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
To maintain the bootcamp work and watch more possibilities unfold. Since we have not seen an elimination of physical aggression, we will work to continue our progress on this. That will continue to be our core focus.
Megan C from North Carolina, started bootcamp in March 2022
Click HERE to hear Megan speaking about her experience.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Very short fuse and low frustration tolerance in both kids - regular meltdowns
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That the situation was hopeless and was only going to get worse.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course
I think the increase in our HSC's self-awareness in situations that are getting tough, the ability and willingness for unprompted "sorry" rather than a full meltdown has been quite dramatic, this never happened prior to bootcamp.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Core skills and strategies that are appropriate and effective.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
With Lily, the responsiveness and positivity to all the strategies and tactics was unexpected. She definitely feels and behaves better.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Smoother mornings - Less stress and anxiety before school/work. Less sarcasm, and have an arsenal of strategies to use.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Continue to reduce outbursts and meltdowns and the hurtful words that come with those.
J & M G. from California. Started bootcamp in March 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
(Daughter) was having daily meltdowns after school. Things weren’t just magically getting better. I didn’t want that for her or our family!
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My biggest mindset block was believing that I AM capable of being steady in the midst of (Daughter)’s ups and downs.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
She has expressed her overwhelm with school, and the stats are showing that. She has not made any depressing comments so far for the month of May despite her school fatigue (huge!). Additionally, if (Daughter) does quiet time immediately once home, her physical and verbal aggression towards her brother decreases dramatically. The MTC experience has freed me to realize that I CAN step into homeschooling with confidence that home will be a nurturing environment for her. I’ve also seen an increase in (Daughter) initiating physical closeness and expressing her thoughts and feelings more honestly. Personally, I’ve never felt more empowered to be me. No other counseling has helped me more than MTC has, especially in regards to resiliency and growth mindset. So thank you all!
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Feeling understood and not so alone, personally and as a parent
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Realizing that my son is also an HSC. I think he’s been overshadowed by (Daughter)’s big feelings his whole life, trying to tiptoe around her and keep the peace. It’s been surprising and neat to see him voice his own anger, etc. in a new way. His self-awareness at the age of 5 is impressive. The forgiveness exercise early on released some BIG bodily emotion that was trapped in me. I did not realize how much I hated myself for not knowing how to be a better parent and help my kid thrive.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
We were able to dream and finally bought a puppy. Despite a rough start we’re surviving and beginning to enjoy it. We’ll be homeschooling in the fall (after I had thought and researched it for 4 years!). We’re able to go on walks more easily. There’s still protest about going to church, but we’re going. Getting dressed has not been an issue in a while. And if it is, (Daughter) asks for help or solves the problem herself. I’m hearing more productive conversation/conflict between the kids. (Husband) and I have even more of a common language and understanding than we did before. This will be beneficial as we problem solve and communicate moving forward. I feel like everyone will be free to be a as authentic while respecting healthy boundaries in love.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
For (Daughter) to more consistently calm her body and talk about her feelings during moments of anger.
Caroline B. from Texas worked with MTC starting March 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

meltdowns, arguing and poor behavior.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

That it was never going to get easier, and that Abbey would always be that way.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

We no longer struggle with daily meltdowns. It is not an issue to get up for school and out of the house within 30-45 minutes without a fit. Abbey is more willing to talk about her feelings and where she feels them. She does not fight bedtime routine anymore. She is able to go into a store without whining and nagging the whole time and I don't have to try to bribe her to be good anymore.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Knowing that there are others with this struggle, and we are not alone and having the tools to handle the big emotions. Also, being able to change the mindset of being stuck.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? (Recall your list of 20 when you started if you need a reminder :) What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?

#2 Get ready for bed in less than an hour. #3 Get ready for school without arguing or fighting. #4 Get out of bed without getting angry. #8 Be able to have her process her emotions without having a meltdown. #11 Her being willing to eat her dinner without throwing fit and demanding something else if she's doesn't like what we are eating. #15 Go to Walmart without fighting and making her sit in the cart.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

#9 Eliminate snotty replies and rude behavior.

K.P. from Colorado. Joined bootcamp March 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

The #1 reason we joined was that our son was engaging in unsafe behaviors toward himself. He was hyperventilating, holding his breath, jumping off of furniture and doing a couple of other unsafe behaviors.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

My biggest mindset block that I have overcome is a feeling of helpless, that his behaviors were too overwhelming for me to handle.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

We have definitely seen a decrease in the intensity and frequency of meltdowns. I am sure we have avoided meltdowns by understanding his triggers and needs. We have definitely improved our relationship with our son. We are all laughing more and enjoying each other's company more.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

The #1 benefit has been an improved relationship. I am not as strict as I was before or as frustrated as I was before because I understand him better. We are having fun with playful options and feelings games. I think Royal feels more understood and valued.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

I did not realize that there would be such a huge emphasis on us as the parents. I thought we would just get tools to help our son, but we are also helping ourselves become more mindful and calm within ourselves as parents.

What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?

We definitely have greater laughter and joy. We have more confidence as parents. We are closer and more united. What's possible now is that we have less worry and can enjoy our lives more.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

My next objective is for my two kids to get along better.

Mom from Michigan who started bootcamp February 2022

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

I choose you because yours was the first program that I felt REALLY understood the nature of my child's struggles, how to fix them, and a coaching program for us as parents, as opposed to therapy for my child, which I knew was NOT going to work with her.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

I think my biggest block was believing that Aspen was capable of making these changes. We still have a long ways to go, but I have seen the progress she has made so for, and I feel that she WILL get there.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

I feel like I don't push my feelings of frustration or inadequacy onto Aspen, when she's having a hard time (not giving me a hard time.) I see her needs and can respond to that, rather than react to her emotions. Even when I'm not sure exactly which tool to use, or how, I know I HAVE the tools I need to figure it out, and it doesn't need to be perfect. Aspen is getting better at talking about feelings and curious about what is possible for her and this is huge.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Biggest benefit: That this program WILL work. There isn't an IF, it's a how or when, etc, not an if. Having struggled for SO many years with her issues, this was literally a godsend for us.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Yes, that my husband learned he is HS himself, and this explains SOOOOO much.. I felt like I was living in a house with a bunch of crazy people (kidding, but not kidding...) and now I can understand HIM so much better, and HE can understand HIMSELF so much better!! He is actually able to tackle the hairy ball of "mindset" stuff without feeling lost or that it is all mumbo jumbo stuff.

What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?

This is mostly still small things. She is more outwardly affectionate towards me, wanting to cuddle all the time, whereas before she really didn't want anyone to touch her. She still prefers to imitate it though, which is fine. She is getting better at telling me what she is feeling, good and bad, verbalizing it. She was able to participate in her school play this last week and was SOOOO scared, but pushed through and did it anyway and had fun. She has expressed that she wants to participate in future school plays and other activities that previously she was not interested in, and/or she wants to do when she is older, but recognizes that right now she isn't ready yet.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

To keep working on these skills etc. I am glad the intensity of bootcamp is over; it's been an insanely busy spring and this has been great, but also stressful. I know this what our family needs, and I am excited to continue working on the different areas that we haven't gotten down yet, and that we are given a strategy to do that.

H.S. from Colorado. Joined bootcamp in February 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
The hope that it might work. We have tried for YEARS all other types of parenting strategies, read books, received counsel, been to doctors, therapists, psychologists and a psychiatrist. Madeline did the things they/we asked of her and it do not work or at least not for long. So, it was time to look inward (parents) to see what we could do to save our girl from the path of destruction.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
She was doing it on purpose, she was wired to rebel, and that she would always struggle.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.
How do I even begin???? SO MUCH HAS CHANGED!!! First of all, the hope that was given back to our family is priceless. We can measure the fact that before Bootcamp, I cried daily. I daily felt defeated, incapable, and like a failure. I have not cried one time during bootcamp with these same worries or concerns. Prior to bootcamp, I did not use mindfulness with the exception of gratitude. Now, I daily focus on the goals for (Daughter) and our family. I spend time noticing my feeling and my body. (Daughter)'s meltdowns/shutdowns went from daily/multiple times a day to weekly! (Daughter) is slowly letting down her defenses, she is beginning to trust that we hear her, understand her, accept her, love her no matter what, and that we are capable to lead her. She does this by sharing her art work, by laying in bed with me at night talking and sharing, and by asking questions again. When she was little she asked about EVERYTHING. She lost her curiosity for the past few years, but now it is coming back!!!!!! She went from daily intense bitterness, anger, irritability, explosive behavior with slamming things, yelling, evil dark eyes and death states and just general sense of not liking her life. Over the past weeks, ALL of this has lessened! Her frequency, intensity, and duration of her meltdowns and intense behavior has gone from daily to weekly and has gone from hours to minutes most of the time. She is opening up more and sharing her feeling, thoughts, and she is able to look to the future. She wants to get out of the house daily even if it is just to go to the store. Before she didn't want to leave her bed.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
The power you have given us to impact our family. You didn't just "give us a fish to eat". You taught us to fish for ourselves. We have life because of this work together!!!! I believe it changed the trajectory of (Daughter)'s life!!!
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Strengthened our marriage!
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
I can get more specific with my goals now. Before they were survival goals...we are still working on them, but now I see the potential and possibility for thriving goals!!!
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
Building confidence in herself! Routine, schedule, and interpersonal interaction skills that have been on hold for the past 6 months. What I mean is that as we continue to build upon the trust of our new relationship, we are going to help her and empower her to do hard things. Get out of the house more, interact with family more, get involved in a class or lesson of her choosing, etc.
C. & S. A. from Indiana. Joined bootcamp February 2022

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Major aggressive meltdowns for my son, hitting throwing things and foul language. Inability to accept no as an answer.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

That my son is doing it on purpose and is naturally this way and naturally negative leaning and aggressive and hurtful. I did not understand the concept of he's having a hard time expressing his emotions and that he really wants to be better at it.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

His meltdowns have decreased significantly and the intensity is still strong but shorter duration. He is able to assess how he feels and I am able to talk to him more about his feeling and his body. We are being more playful in our interactions with one another and talking about feelings has gotten a lot easier. I am using these methods with my non-HSC tween as well. I have learned to better calm myself and validate feelings in the moment, especially my own feelings. I have come to an understanding as to how I am getting in my own way in how I react to my children's negative feelings and tantrums.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Learning how coach myself through challenges, learning how to speak to my child in a way that is not invalidating and learning how go back to being playful with him. Also understanding the science behind what is happening with him and with me. That anger is a symptom and not his personality trait. I think that is the biggest benefit is shifting my outlook of who my child is and who he can truly be.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Yes, my work with my HSC has helped me in improving my relationship with my daughter and my husband. We are able to better communicate with one another in a way that is more respectful. I hadn't realized that my tone and my intonations and the things that I say when speaking had such an impact on those around me.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

We are a more peaceful home. We are having tantrum maybe once a week. We are kinder to one another. I am hoping that my HSC will be able to actually have a longer conversation about he feels and how others may feel. Right now he answers with one word answers when we talk about feelings but before he would not open up. He is also more aware of his body and the changes that take place in his body. All the books he read has also had an impact on how he views himself and his anger. He understands better that he needs to find ways to dissipate it. I think he still has the urge to hit and throw when he gets really angry but I am hoping with continued role play and playful games about feelings it will get better.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

I want my child to also realize that his words have impact on others. I want him to have a better understanding of those around him and that they have feelings too. He calls people names and they can be just descriptive names like skinny nose or fat lip. But he needs to realize that this can be very hurtful. So I am working on teaching him that through role play after the aggression is gone.

S from California. Joined bootcamp in February 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Constant meltdowns. Throwing, hitting and "not listening"

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

She was making things difficult and being difficult

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

There are very few meltdowns, the duration is less. Hitting and throwing is significantly less. She has learned to advocate for herself. We are more connected. I understand her so much more.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Gaining the understanding that she is having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

(Daughter) advocating for herself so quickly and my total shift in the way I think and handle difficult situations. I have not yelled at her in anger since week one.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

I don't feel like a hostage, days are brighter overall, my girl is happier and therefore I am at ease and happier.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

We are still struggling a bit with quiet time. I'm trying to keep it positive and hope to increase the time

Jennifer from Washington joined bootcamp February 2022

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

The main enduring issue was his aggressiveness towards his brothers.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

We both had the assumption he was doing a lot of things on purpose and intentionally "pushing our buttons"

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

The biggest noticeable shift, and something I had never realized was missing, is Ryan's openness about his feelings (feeling bored so he hits brothers, feeling nervous when he sees me get frustrated, feeling sad if he feels left out of something, feels worry that he may make wrong choice).

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

I always knew something had to change but I had a tough time convincing Alan that "this" isn't working. I clearly didn't have the answers but this program illuminated things for Alan and has enabled us to be a unified front.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Our shifted parenting approach has improved things for everyone and also highlights for Alan that he's married to a HSP so there's an increased awareness in our marriage.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

We've seen his r'ship with his brothers grow; we have had more enjoyable dinners; we had a family trip where we were better prepared.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

(Son)'s verbalized that he gets bored easily and that's why he kicks/pinches/flicks/bugs his brothers. I want to focus on this and help him find more effective ways to address his boredom.

M.B. from Virginia joined bootcamp January 2022

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?

Our son was shutting down and stuffing his feelings and we had no idea of how to handle it. Prior to this course I had never heard of HSC, but seeing some information from Megghan on Facebook it really lined up with what we were seeing in our son.

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

Responding to our HSC the way our parents parented us does not work. Also, that our child is not broken. He is not giving us a hard time, he is having a hard time. Our child is not his behavior.

Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course.

Some of the biggest outcomes is understanding our child more and understanding what is happening in these meltdowns and how to be there for him (validating) but not fixing the problem, and letting him work through it. The meltdowns at the beginning were less, but during the middle of this course he has started to melt and not be afraid to share his emotions. We have had more meltdowns, but also some that have peaked more quickly. He has grown a longer fuse in some things, like writing. He is more able to voice emotions and tell us what he needs.

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

You have given us the tools and confidence we need in order to effectively parent our HSC.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

Everyone in our family is working on voicing their emotions better.

What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

We have been able to connect with other parents and work on our list of 20 things. We have several in process or getting there. What's possible is to continue to dream and see what our home/family would look like in the future (more peace) and how Oliver would feel about himself and work with others.

What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?

Continued work on our own mindfulness as parents, and working on the ladder for our HSC regarding his thoughts of poking himself with a pencil.

Keith and Mary from Oregon. Worked with MTC starting January 2022.

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Daily meltdowns
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
She could control herself in those meltdowns
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course. *This could be number of meltdowns avoided, an improved relationship with your child, an increase in your understanding of your child's needs, etc.
My mindset: staying calmer in meltdowns (not losing my temper), more compassion, more confidence in parenting. These things have led fewer meltdowns a week and more control when she gets upset
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
My overall mindset. That is the foundation and allows me to implement everything else in the program.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I hate to keep focusing on myself but there has been so much improvement in me through this program: how I view parenting now vs. how I was parented, how I view my HSC now with love and compassion, how I handle my own emotions and that I am in control of myself and not reacting to others around me.
What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?
Smoother morning routines (plus she has more independence in her routine thanks to a daily schedule), homework time without crying, joking more with her, lose games with grace, consistent calm dinner time, appropriate reactions to physically getting hurt, French braided her hair.
What's your next objective to achieve for your family and/or your child?
To stop the regular hitting. To start using other means of dissipating the anger
Marianne from Tennessee. Joined bootcamp January 2022.

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Biggest mindset block or assumption or what have you overcome?

That she was behaving poorly on purpose


Outcome of working with us?

Meltdowns have decreased, it’s been two weeks since the last one. Neither of us has yelled at her since we started the program. Relationships have definitely improved, especially mine with [HSC]. We understand her a lot better now and accept her more for who she is.


#1 Biggest benefit for you in our work together?

Mindset work - understanding why she behaves the way she does, how the way we view her affects the way we parent


What is an unexpected results you achieved from our work?

A much better relationship with our daughter.


What dreams have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

We have made progress on a lot of them. We haven’t yelled or spanked since we started. We actually look back at our list and now realize that much of what we had written was about her NOT having big reactions and feelings. We would now rewrite a lot of our goals to reflect what we have learned about helping her effectively process those feelings, rather than not have them at all. That shows the progress we have made in our mindsets. What’s possible now is greater enjoyment of each other and less explosive reactions in regards to big feelings.

C. from Pennsylvania, started bootcamp at the beginning of 2022

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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I overreacted or avoided when my child didn't behave according to my unrealistic expectations.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Block: parenting from the place of fear, not love. I didn't know how to be available to my kids and to connect because I didn't know how to be available to myself and connect with myself. I also had an assumption that my kids had to behave well and to help me, because I did it when I was a kid.
Our Results:
One meltdowns in 3 months (vs. one meltdown a month. I knew what to do and stayed calm). Improved relationship with myself; I am more present, loving and grateful, avoid less, relax more; celebrate more, take time to feel, process and rest, make healthier choices for myself and my family. I can set limits (work in progress). [Son] is: more present, more loving, grateful, does what he is asked to with less resistance, talks about his feelings and thoughts, participates in conversations with grown-ups, tries new things, is independent in his morning and evening routines, chores, homework and coming home on time from a walk, asks for help when he needs it, takes breaks regularly (he made a Calming Corner for himself with supplies for quiet time), enjoys mindfulness exercises.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
This program helped me see, establish and keep maintaining super hero mindset and secure attachment.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
[Son]'s independence took flight on secure connection. I was able to see my vulnerabilities as opportunities. I was able to connect my values to my mindset and everyday actions. I know what life style I need to maintain to be the best version of myself. I'm learning to keep going after I made mistakes instead of shutting down. I appreciate the role modeling, coaching and support I received here. I enjoy being in the safety mode: healthy, happy and loving.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Connection with [Son] I managed my expectations and updated my priorities. I treat [Son] better. I know he is capable and also needs a secure connection with me and [husband]. I learnt the tools to do preventative maintenance. I am not afraid to set limits and follow thru (not bulldoze thru). [Son] is present and participates in conversations and family events. He knows he is heard and he can choose. We all are playing with feelings and taking time to feel and acknowledge them.
We enjoy our connection, have more flexibility and feel heard, cared for and capable no matter what the situation is.
- Ksenia from Illinois, Joined bootcamp Winter 2022

 

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Our HSC reacting to teasing, tears about most mistakes, a lot of shame and saying he doesn't belong in our family

What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Taking a step back to think that my child is having a hard time, not trying to give me a hard time.
Our results:
Overall a happier family. My HSC having less meltdowns, crying, and seeming more comfortable in his skin. My middle child is more positive. And a more open environment to talk about feelings. Less pressure and expectations.
The #1 biggest benefit:
Learning to validate
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Better coping skills for myself
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Kids being more independent and confident
- A parent from Virginia, joined Bootcamp Winter 2021
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I hated yelling at them in order for them to do things. [My biggest mindset block was] that they were being disrespectful or disobedient. I couldn't wrap my head around why they wouldn't just listen. 100% I understand where they're coming from now. I knew my daughter was "tender hearted" as I used to call it, but now I understand more. I don't have to yell anymore to get them to listen. I can stay calm. My kids are more loving now. I'm getting way more out-of-the-blue "I love you" comments.
[The #1 biggest benefit in our work together is] that I understand the children's mindset. I was just baffled why simple things seemed to cause them to meltdown. Or like when we had a day at an amusement park and they would meltdown that I wouldn't go get them ice cream. They aren't ungrateful. They loved the day we had. Understanding their mindset with transitions has been big for me too. I was like, "we are going somewhere fun for YOU. Why are you upset?" Now I know!
They've always been loving, but now they're more loving and giving more hugs now randomly. I wasn't expecting that. We definitely yell less and hardly at all now. They are showing more empathy at times. Fewer tears. Bed times are slowly getting better. Getting out the door in the mornings is amazing for [our 9 year old HSC]. [Our 10 year old HSC] is still super tired and slow but she's getting out the door on time so that's a win! I think we are connecting more as a family. We are going to continue to work on hitting. Once that is extinguished I'll be ecstatic! I can't wait for my immediate family to see the changes.
- E from Nevada, joined Bootcamp Winter 2021
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My 11 year old HSC and I were struggling with not getting up in the morning for school and various other issues that would cause me to think she was manipulating me. Knowing that she is not manipulating me, she is trying her best as an HSC [was the biggest mindset block I overcame]. 
[An outcome of this course is] definitely understanding more of my child's needs. The meltdowns that are avoided or much smaller and she works through them. Shopping is a big trigger for her, but she works through it and we go and it is fun. [The #1 biggest benefit is] that the yelling has decreased dramatically, and knowing my mindset is so important to help her get through her days.
Learning from Megghan talking one day that I am also an HSC. I never knew. There are a lot of the dream goals that have been accomplished. No meltdowns, getting up for school, brushing her teeth and hair before school, without me asking, helping with dinner, and many more, really just having that daughter that is grateful for what she has.
- T.G., joined Bootcamp Winter 2021
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Our family dynamic was very good, but not great, I'd say. Immediately prior to us joining, our girls had a very big physical fight, which was rare. [Our HSC] exploded onto her sister and broke her glasses. It was a very big deal. We decided then, in my opinion, to join for the health of their long term relationship, and our immediate family dynamic.
I feel much more aware now, that when she is having a hard time, and she's not giving a hard time. I interpreted most behavioral issues as her being defiant, which led to power struggles and really didn't help to solve anything. I feel that I'm better at recognizing now that this is often not the case. I think the number of meltdowns is similar, and sometimes so is the intensity. But my understanding and skill as a parent when working through these situations has improved. [Our HSC] and [sister] are still great friends and good sisters to each other. Which is our ultimate goal. Our biggest improvement was mindset. How the language we use shapes our perception of events. 
I think we all have taken more ownership and responsibility of our words, actions and their impact. [Our HSC] seems more confident. I feel like I'm calmer and more empathetic and recognize when I should not take offense, or be on the offensive when I would perceive my kids behavior as defiance.
- D from New York, joined Bootcamp of Fall 2021
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C: We were struggling with a very aggressive meltdown about 3 times a week and unsure how to teach [our HSC] anything because everything we said would seem to upset her and trigger a meltdown.  I didn't see how empathetic she really was, that telling her to be positive and not worry did more harm than good, andI always thought she was giving us a hard time. My mindset around all of this and her has completely changed. I see it from a new perspective and feel more connected to her. We have had less physically aggressive meltdowns recently. 
We went from three a week to about 1 a week on average. It is difficult to talk about feeling still but we are making progress. I have completely changed the way I speak to her and understand that this way is much more effective and what she needs. Threats and punishments don't work. The biggest benefit was the entirely new perspective I have about [our HSC] and learning how to speak to hear in a way that is helpful rather than hurtful. I feel more confident in my parenting skills. I just learned so much more about how we all think and how [our HSC] being sensitive affects all the areas of her life that we were struggling with. I was worried she may have autism or ADHD but am now confident that it is the fact that she is a HSC that drove her behaviors not autism or ADHD.
[Our HSC] has been able to get her morning routine done and out the door for school on time. I think we will be able to do more of the activities on our list when we have nicer weather and feel confident they will be more successful. We still have a ways to go but she just went to her ice skating event with no meltdowns and that was huge. We hope to eliminate the aggressive behaviors completely and for Samantha to be able to work through her emotions without a meltdown. We hope for her to feel less shame about her behavior and feelings.

A: Aggressive combative behavior from our HSC toward [my wife] and myself. I had always thought that [our HSC] would act like a brat and try to manipulate us on purpose. We went from 2-3 hitting, biting, hair-pulling meltdowns per week to 2 per month. Personally, I had several "Father of the Year" (sarcasm) episodes where I would swear and yell at my kid. I was so frustrated that any parenting progress/efforts we had made were useless and did not get any results.
Now, we have a better relationship. Another big gain was with mindset. We really appreciated having someone to ask for help. I feel better about heading out for work in the morning, knowing that the girls will make it out  to school in one piece. We played more family card games, board games etc. Our list had a lot of summertime activities that we are still looking forward to. We made it out sledding last week which went pretty well.
- C & A from Massachusetts, joined Bootcamp of Fall 2021
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Meltdowns and shame/aggressive behavior
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My mindset and assumptions make or break the meltdowns
Our results:
Meltdowns are gone or when they do happen I can predict when and be ready for them rather than fear them. My mindset and compassion for my child has greatly improved our relationship.
The #1 biggest benefit:
Mindset - my reaction to his behaviors is what makes the most difference
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Celebrating the little wins created bigger wins
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
The biggest is that no matter what’s happening or where I know I can handle it. Before I had thoughts of “I can’t handle him” “what if he does this in front of people and they judge me as a parent” “i’m not a good mother” Now I'm confident as a parent and have so much compassion for my child that no matter what his outburst are i know i can be there for him in a way that’s validating his feelings and holding healthy boundaries. And that truly lets me create all that was on my list possible (with a little elbow grease)
- Sarah Ruffino, joined Bootcamp of Fall 2021 

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
K: Shutdowns and meltdowns
J: ​​Reacting to my kids in a negative, controlling, and shameful way.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
K: I thought they were giving me a hard time and that it had to be a struggle and battle, both when it came to the little things and the big things.
J: Offering viable solutions will fix a problem.
Our results:
K: An increase in my understanding of my own needs, of my partner’s needs and my children’s needs. There has been a measurable improvement in my own groundedness, empowerment, stability, calmness, and neutrality, resulting in an improvement in relationships with all of my family members. We have avoided many meltdowns and experienced beautiful moments and growth where in the past we would’ve experienced suffering and pain.
J: I’ve definitely seen a reduced number of meltdowns per week and a reduction in intensity and duration for both kids.
The #1 biggest benefit: 
K: Learning how to validate emotions and use mindset as my number one ninja skill.
J: This has improved, and continues to improve, every relationship in my life starting with the relationship w myself. And, this gives a clear blueprint of how to thrive in a relationship.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
K: The further support of my own healing and mindfulness at the level I experienced was definitely unexpected.
J: I didn’t expect to get so much personal development and/or growth from the course.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
K: Forgiveness and an increase of trust and grace, a belief that something else is possible, more peace in our home and during family time, building skills and confidence for the kids, more honoring who the kids are and less controlling energy and efforts, more alignment and synergy, more fun, increased confidence in myself and parenting abilities, calmer + kinder + more responsive communication, see and honor the beingness of the kids and their strengths and gifts, being more mindful and present, having a shared language Jordan and I use and agree on, help the kids to have more self awareness, more variety in experiences for the kids
J: Simply, the tools to give everyone in the family the resources to thrive! And I feel like I can respond now instead of react!
- K.B. & J.B., joined Bootcamp Fall 2021

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Not knowing how to help our son out of the downward spiral that he was in; exhaustion from dealing with the frequent, intense meltdowns; fear that our family would suffer permanent damage to relationships
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That our son was “acting out” because he was jealous of his younger sister and wanted to get our attention. That he was overreacting to triggers.
Our results: Frequency and duration of meltdowns have decreased from daily 30-60 minutes affairs to about every 3 days 5-10 minutes. Hitting/kicking has started to decrease, moving instead to property destruction and verbal threats. It’s much easier for me to see when [our 7 y.o. HSC]  is “amped” up and mentally prepare for a meltdown (but also not predict it because sometimes it doesn’t happen). I’m also more understanding of his sensitivities and am quicker to address issues that might contribute to his feeling uncomfortable/overwhelmed. I have way more energy now, I used to end each day completely exhausted and crash all the night; I can get more things done now AND still feel rested/level-headed because I’m more emotionally regulated. The relationship between [our HSC] and his dad has definitely improved. Dad is still making his way through some of the Bootcamp content but I can see that he’s much more sympathetic to [our HSC’s] personality type, instead of wanting to default to the old-school “my way or the highway” attitude.
The #1 biggest benefit: Sounds dramatic, but I really think you saved my son’s life. Things were getting so dark and desperate so fast and he was only 6 when we started the program. I was really scared thinking about how bad things might get in the next 5-10 years. Now I can see him gaining the skills to be able to manage his big emotions. I also think you rescued my family from fracturing. Without Bootcamp, I think that the relationship between [our HSC] and his dad wouldn’t have survived as [our HSC] grew into an adult, and also think that his sister would not have wanted to maintain a relationship with her big brother when she grew up because of all the challenges. Now I feel confident that they will all be able to have healthy, supportive relationships with each other.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I think the mindfulness/mindset work has been broadly applicable to other parts of my life, not just to the kids. I feel more comfortable handling stress/pressure at work because the mindfulness practice helps me keep things in perspective.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
1) We are able to go out without worrying about meltdowns while we’re out or when we get home.
 2) [Our HSC] is willing to read books with his dad. 
3) We have dinners that are more relaxed and fun, and have actual conversations at the dinner table.
 4) The kids play together nicely more often.
 5) The volume in the house is quieter. 
6) We laugh and play more as a family. 
7) We have more time to give undivided attention to each kid. 
8) The time after school and before bed doesn’t feel as rushed and stressful, even after adding in “quiet time” after school. 
9) The whole family does “quiet time” on weekends. 
10) Transitions between activities go more smoothly. 
11) [Our HSC]  is more relaxed, confident, smiley, creative, agreeable, willing to help. 
12) Our weekends are more enjoyable and less draining. 
13) [Our HSC] is starting to open up to us more about his feelings. 
14) [Our HSC] is fine with his dad putting him to bed. 
15) [Our HSC] and his dad have a closer relationship.
- L.H. & R.H., joined Bootcamp Fall 2021 
What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Daily meltdowns and nothing else worked. The constant yelling, meltdowns, hitting, fighting, and blaming that went on among everyone in the family.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I'm still working on this, but the timeline for when the meltdowns or hitting will stop. The fear that it won't stop makes me think this will go on forever and [my HSC] won't move forward. Focusing on my skills helps me to not worry about a "due date" but keep working towards the goal.
Our results: Definitely improved relationships with both the children at home. [My HSC] verbalizes his feelings more often and what his needs are. I am also able to validate and not lecture with my 13 y.o. HSC and she has opened up a lot more. As far as meltdowns, in the month of September we prevented 10+ meltdowns, October 40+ meltdowns were avoided, and this month (November) we have deescalated about 7 times so far. I am definitely looking at my children differently in the way they speak or use their body language and am able to think what they are really struggling with or trying to tell me.
The #1 biggest benefit: Mindset work. Learning to be a thermostat I am calm in my body 90% of the time. I've learned to feel my feelings and no one is going to implode. I can move through them and let them be. Not being the mom that yells all the time.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I did not anticipate so much work on myself. So many insights about myself, why I react certain ways and that there are 3 HSPs in our house. I think I got more out of these 10 weeks than a year of family therapy and a year of marriage counseling. The mindset work has really helped me turn the lens inward to work on myself first to help lead my family to a more peaceful future.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
I go most days without yelling. [Our HSC] doesn't fight me to use soap during bath time. He did have a friend come to our house AND he went to a friend's house without a meltdown. [Our HSC]  is getting more confident in his abilities.

- Crystal & Brad Parsons, joined Bootcamp Fall 2021

 

What were you struggling with prior to joining?
We chose to work with you because we were having a hard time figuring out how to calm our daughter down when she was having big emotions. She has always had a hard time regulating her emotions and we were afraid that if we didn't start helping her now that it would affect her ability to interact with peers and to do well in school.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
The biggest block was my belief that these meltdowns might be back bad behaviors and that she might be manipulating us. I was stuck on the idea that she just wanted control of every situation. Now I look at it differently and I understand that she is struggling and that even if she does want control, it's not malicious or manipulative, but it's a way to assuage her anxiety and fears. She's having a difficult time.
Our results: The primary outcome I've achieved so far is a better understanding of her needs and an increase in patience. I notice this on a daily basis. Also, I've noticed that [our HSC] is starting to recognize her feelings and our feelings more. She is able to name feelings. We still have a lot of work to do, but we're definitely heading in the right direction.
The #1 biggest benefit: The #1 biggest benefit so far is an improvement in my own mindset when it comes to [our HSC], which has led to an improved relationship with her. Also, my husband and I are on the same page and can talk about the wins more.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I'm not sure - maybe a shift in our priorities? Our first priority is now to help [our HSC] recognize emotions and work through them rather than to try to rescue her from them.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
She goes into school with no fight. She has also been able to handle limitations when shopping when I won't buy her multiple toys. She also is willing to bathe or wash every day. We also signed her up for a dance class starting in January with 2 of her friends from school. We're hopeful that it goes well.
- M. & M. B., joined Bootcamp Summer 2021

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Your program identified everything we had been experiencing with our daughter and you offered a structured plan to improve our situation. We were struggling with being on the same page with discipline/communication, not knowing how to help her overcome her anxiety/panic "freezing", providing gentle support when she had meltdowns and basic daily routines. with regards to my HSC's frequent blowups and meltdowns.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That she is choosing to be difficult, that her actions are conscious and she knows how to be manipulative. Once we understood what was driving it, everything changed. We assumed she would "grow out of it" or that she had something actually wrong with her (like a diagnosis.)
Our results: Severely shortened tantrums (when they occur now it's also much less frequent.) Ability to use her words appropriately during conflict. Her gaining trust in us (still working on it) and overcoming daily power struggles.
The #1 biggest benefit: The change in mindset and even verbiage we used when describing her challenges. When you or the team would call me out on how I explained scenarios to help me see I was still making assumptions. One on one coaching during calls and help desk. Direct plan to help us with detailed problems specific to our child. Finally not feeling alone!
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Improved relationship with my husband and improved ability to communicate with our other younger child.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
We still have not achieved many of the 20 goals unfortunately but I would say the biggest achievement is the change of tone in the house, NOT walking on eggshells daily, able to "live life" more without constant chaos and worry.
- N.& Z, B., joined Bootcamp Fall 2021

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I chose to work with you because I felt you understood my HSC and me (an HSP) when no one else had. Prior to joining, I was struggling with feeling hopeless, frustrated, angry, and trapped with regards to my HSC's frequent blowups and meltdowns.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My biggest mindset block was my belief that my son was angry at me and that's why he was having blowups and meltdowns, and that he should be able to be in control of these things.
Our results: As a result of this course, my understanding of my child's needs is much, MUCH better! And my own needs as well, as an HSP. Our relationship is improving, I'm feeling much less responsible for both of our behaviour and emotions, and he's having fewer blowups and meltdowns.
The #1 biggest benefit: Learning from people who understand HSCs and are realistic/understanding about the challenges of parenting HSCs.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I didn't expect to realize I'd been totally misinterpreting some things about my son, or to learn so much about him and myself as HSPs.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
I'm much less tense, walking on eggshells, experiencing dread than I was before. I'm not as exhausted once my son is in bed, and I feel more capable and hopeful about life.

- A.G., Joined Bootcamp Fall 2021

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I had followed some of your free training online and kept thinking about the next step. After our first call with Toni, it felt good to be understood and to know that we would always have access to help along the way. Before boot camp we were struggling with huge and frequent meltdowns, aggressive behavior and lack of self confidence. Our communication was lacking between all family members as well.
 
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Our biggest assumption was that she was rebelling and being oppositional with us. We had not realized that she felt that much shame. We did not know that we could feel our feelings in our body, that was a big eye opener for us as parents.
 
Our results: We have noticed that her fuse is getting longer, she has gone 5 days without hitting or being aggressive. She can now stop herself from being aggressive when her routine is the same. We have also been communicating more effectively with each other. Feelings were never talked about casually and they are now. We also understand her triggers and can be more playful and creative to diffuse the situation. We validate on a daily basis and see the positive effects.
 
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
More communication with my husband.
- S. & N. G., joined Bootcamp Fall 2021

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
We knew we needed help with our parenting strategies that had not worked for our HSC child for so long. Prior to joining we were struggling with major physical aggression (hitting/punching/scratching) towards younger siblings. We were struggling with meltdowns here and there but mainly angry outbursts/yelling. And just daily oppositional behavior which negatively affected our relationship with our HSC. We were also struggling with how to handle our child's anxiety levels.
 
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My biggest mindset block was struggling to understand why my child's anger was specifically taken out only on me/his brother. This went on for a year so my mental and emotional health began to decline and the assumptions about my child began to be that he was being hateful, his behavior would not change, and I began to have anger and resentment towards him. This caused my mindset to fall into the deepest/darkest place. After bootcamp, I am in such a better place with my mindset. Yes, I still have struggles but now that I have the new skills/strategies, I am able to handle them more effectively so that it does not cause a hindrance between my relationship with my child.
 
Our results: We went from 4-5 physical hits/punches a day, to none. Every now and then there may be a small spat/shove but more like what you would see with normal sibling conflicts. We went from having several times in a day where my child would have an outburts/yell or tantrum in an ineffective way. Now he has one small moment every other day and they are very short and not near as intense.
 
The #1 biggest benefit: Shift in Mindset!!
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I was not expecting my child to actually be open to suggestions I would make or actually allow me to start helping him. For example, prior to bootcamp, he would refuse to let me help learn to breathe but now he is open to working with me on it.
 
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
My biggest goal was the he be able to go to school with excessive worries and actually look forward to going. And he does! Another goal was no more physical aggression/resentment toward his sibling Another big goal is that we have more ease with day to day requests and activities. No longer arguing about bedtime, brushing teeth, going to sleep, what he wants for snack etc. I can now take both of my boys out for errands or to eat without it being really hard. We are able to enjoy each other more. A lot of this has to do with my mindset.
 
- K.M & P.M. Alabama, joined Bootcamp Fall 2021

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
We were struggling with constant meltdowns and a variety of sensory issues related to anxiety.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My biggest mindset block was that she had the skills to do what she should be doing and that she was choosing to (not wear bottoms/be afraid of the toilet/not control herself)
Our results: I have a drastically improved relationship with my child. I sense she has a greater sense of security. She is willing to talk about behaviors and is more aware of how her body is feeling in the moment. She has started not only wearing bottoms but doing so on her own. She uses public toilets and I see her facing her fear as she does so, however she has the skills and support to do so now. We haven't had a meltdown for weeks. She understands that some ways are positive and will help, while other ways don't help in the long run even if they feel satisfying in the moment.
The #1 biggest benefit: Bringing joy back to our family.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I had a lot of personal insights as to who I had become as a parent over the last eight years. Some of them were positive and some of them were things I wanted to change about how I interacted with both of my children.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
We can go places and do things without worrying about what will happen. We aren't limited by our HSC's mood or self restrictions. We are optimistic that we can handle challenges. We achieved many of our list of 20! A few will need to wait until we can travel again.
 
- K. & K. M., joined Bootcamp Summer 2021
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I had no idea how to calm my daughter (or myself) down during meltdowns.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I was making meltdowns about me and that my child was having them to make me mad or to just be dramatic.
Our results: Huge decrease in negative talk from my daughter. Meltdowns are way less intense and happen less often. Reconnecting with my daughter with meaningful conservations.
The #1 biggest benefit: Everything! :-) Giving me the skills I needed to be the best parent for my HSC.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I was amazed at how quickly I saw results from minor changes. I also didn't expect such a big change in myself with my new mindset.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
I don't dread going home at night. I don't dread asking my daughter to get ready for school. Peaceful nights. More laughter in the house. Actual communication. Really getting in tune with my daughter. I think we can tackle anything with our new skills. The skies are the limit!
- J.D., Illinois, joined Bootcamp Summer 2021
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
We were nearing desperation. Not because of unmanageable behavior (the hitting & scratching were getting bad but at 4 we weren’t out of control yet), but because we felt we were on the precipice of things getting a lot worse and for fear of the future. I was searching for help once I discovered “highly sensitive” as a personality trait and couldn’t find any more than books about the trait - no action plans or real life help for what we were struggling with. Then I came across MTC on Facebook.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My biggest assumption was that [our 4 y.o. HSC]  is overly dramatic. It just didn’t seem possible for every rock in her shoe, slightly too hot meal, tiny boo boo etc, could be THAT big of a deal. Now I realize that yes, to her, they are all a big deal. And the more I treat them as such (instead of brushing her off), her reactions get smaller.
Our results: We have gone from multiple daily meltdowns to 2-3 a week. We feel much more able to handle what comes up.
The #1 biggest benefit: Our confidence in managing what our HSC throws at us and feeling like we have ongoing support for anything that may pop up
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Becoming more comfortable talking to our HSC about death when that topic popped up. Toni (our coach) was so helpful.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
I was very nervous about our family trip to San Diego in September - we will be visiting family who will be so excited to meet/see our HSC and it will be overwhelming. I feel like we know how to prep her, help her through it and remove her from anything she can’t handle.
- B. & B. Braddy, North Carolina, joined Bootcamp Spring 2021

 

What were you struggling with prior to joining?
The sudden and uncontrollable emotional outbursts that our daughter had.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
M: That the explosions were unpredictable.
E: She enjoyed feeding into her emotions.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course. 
E: My daughter almost never directs her anger towards me now even when I am needing her to change her behavior/do something she doesn't want to do. She still gets angry at times, but not in a way that manifests in physical violence to me. 
M: She has a much longer "fuse" and meltdowns have much quicker recovery. There also seems to be longer stretches between big meltdowns. 
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
E: Approaching more calmly and monitoring my tone/expressions has been huge. Even delivering stern rebukes but with a neutral delivery are now taken more graciously. Also acknowledging her emotions has enabled us to talk about emotions, and she is now very receptive when I let her know that I am actually really frustrated. It's strangely helped her seem to understand our feelings better as well. 
M: She can verbally identify her emotions and what is bugging her and talk about it. She can even trouble shoot on her own now.
 -E. and M., family of 4, Florida; joined bootcamp in fall 2020
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
We were at our wits end with meltdowns, anger and a constant battlefield in our home. We struggled with [our 8 y.o. HSC] expressing himself in ways other than anger, with completing day to day tasks and with not having a relationship with him.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Assuming this was all related to his ADHD/ODD diagnosis. That we would need to continue medication adjustments, counseling and still not having the outcomes we want.
Our results: The greatest outcome is our realization that we as parents needed to change our way of interacting with our son and accepting him as a HSC. In doing that, we are seeing the drop in "defiant" behavior. We're recognizing triggers for him and seeing him happier.
The #1 biggest benefit: Our own mindfulness. We're better parents for understanding our needs and our HSC’s needs.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Less anxiety for me (Mom). I have become more mindful in what triggers my anxiety and the effect that has on our son.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
We're still getting there but have seen more good days than rough- our HSC has been able to listen to our requests and we work together to get things done without argument. He's even started to do some of those day to day things by himself without being reminded 100 times !

- J.& C. Hess, joined Bootcamp Spring 2021
What were you struggling with prior to joining?
I was exhausted. I didn’t want to be a mom anymore because I didn’t feel like I was any good at it. I had no hope for the future.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I felt like most of her behavior was manipulating me to get what she wanted. I knew I didn’t want her to turn out like me, but I really didn’t think there was hope for us to actually gain tools to help all of us.
Our results: Seeing her emotions in the light of what she is experiencing is huge. Learning the steps it takes to get to a goal. Having both girls verbally express their emotions is huge.
I gained so much from having access to the help desk. It was the boots on the ground applications that kept us from crashing and not getting back up!
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
My own personal mindset shift and truly beginning the process of healing from my past and moving towards using my highly sensitive emotions for the good of my family.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
We made it on an 8 hr drive without meltdowns! [My 7 y.o. HSC]  is using her imagination. She has sang and done poems for us and a few select family members. Mine and [Dad]’s communication has greatly improved as parents and as spouses which was a great bonus.
- Savannah & Alan K., Georgia, joined Bootcamp Spring 2021
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
B: Needed to find a path to break the periodic major meltdowns that brought the entire family down, shame cycle, and worries about eruptions/future. Struggled with physical aggression, shame cycle, and not having confidence in how best to make progress on the challenges.
P: Fearful of my children's future as well as a sense of chaos within my own life as a mother.
The biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
B: Overall understanding, appreciation for, and acceptance of HSPs along with optimism on having a path and being able to be intentional about developing skills to address challenges. Lack of awareness on how our own mindset and actions were contributing to challenges.
P: My assumption that he was 'doing it on purpose' rather than 'having a hard time.' 
Our results:
B: No major meltdowns that brought the entire family down. Big reduction in shame and very limited physical barrier/restrain required. Improved connection, emotional availability and overall relationships. Better understanding of HSPs in our family along with triggers and needs.
P: Working with my husband and using the same template to parent our kids has been extremely helpful. My relationship with my husband is better because he now understands me and our children's HSP qualities. For my younger son, his fuse has definitely lengthened (when we say "no"), he rarely hits his brother when angry, and he doesn't have as many meltdowns. For my older son, he has been working on expressing his feelings rather than hiding them.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
B: Understanding and appreciation for HSPs and skills to practice and learn to support the needs of our family with mindset work and validation being key foundations.
P: My own self-discovery as an HSP
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
B: Mindset work and identifying ways in which I contribute to challenges along with strategies to work on to be more supportive and nurturing of HSPs and our relationships.
P: Being mindful transcends being a more present, prepared parent to being a present, prepared individual.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
B: Reduced worry about eruptions when not at home and the future; limited shame and very little use of physical barrier/restraint; common approach and playbook with [my wife]; longer fuse for [8 y.o. HSC] with outdoor play and activities with friends; [8 y.o. HSC] has more confidence in his ability to manage his emotions; work outside without worry about [our] boys inside.
P: The kids can play a video game together and we can role play when there is an argument. I can garden outside by myself. [8 y.o. HSC’s] reactions have a lower peak in the bell curve and I don't worry as much about him as I did in the past. We no longer use physical restraints. Home is a safe place for all family members.

- B. & P., family of 4, Minnesota, joined Bootcamp Spring 2021 for their 8 y.o. HSC 
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
C - We just couldn’t keep doing what we were doing with constant whining and meltdowns. It was exhausting for all of us.

M - we knew we needed help. [Our 4 y.o. HSC] was having multiple meltdowns every day and it caused everyone to walk on eggshells, hoping to not trigger her. The biggest struggle was her sleep, but also her big emotions that we did not know how to help her through
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
C - I thought she was just being difficult and overreacting almost on purpose and now I know it’s truly how she feels and processes things.

M - I just thought she was really difficult and cranky - and rather than being empathetic I would mostly disregard her and not engage.
Our results:
C - Less meltdowns, improved bedtime and goodbyes with less anxiety, our relationship is definitely better, less violence and aggression.

M (dad) - meltdowns are not fully eliminated but the frequency and intensity especially has reduced significantly. It’s rare we can’t help her through a meltdown once she’s there. I personally feel like my relationship has increased greatly with her, which I’m extremely grateful for - she trusts me more and we can share more experiences together! I also realize now that she acts the way she does because she experiences the world differently than others and accepting that was pivotal- complete mind shift when we started!

What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

C - Mindset. Both my mindset around [our HSC’s] situation and my mindset about myself.

M - [Our HSC] engages with me when she’s in distress or has big feelings she can’t control. Knowing that she trusts me has been number 1.

Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?

C - The mindset stuff for myself. Understanding my situation and needs as an HSC and just feeling better about myself even outside of being a mother.

M - My wife and I have always valued communication and have worked to improve upon it over the years, but I felt the course definitely benefited us from that perspective, which I was not expecting.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

C - More activities and enjoyed outings. More sleep. Not walking on eggshells. We’ve seen almost everything on our list once and many things we see regularly.

M - We checked a lot of those boxes! But two in particular are going to bed at ease and saying goodbye easier - those are game changers

- Candace & Mike, Massachusetts, joined Bootcamp Spring 2021
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R -I had tried so many positive parenting strategies and it felt like nothing was working. I could see [my 5 y.o HSC’s] emotions becoming more and more out of control. Consequently mine were as well. I felt like I couldn't give him what he needed. I was starting to build a pretty big feeling of resentment towards him. And my husband and I were nowhere near on the same page with our parenting.
M - Meltdowns  everyday.
The biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
R - I thought [our HSC]l was always going to be angry, and that I'd never be able to help him.

M - That [our HSC] couldn't handle things
Our results: R -We went from meltdowns every day to a 9 day meltdown free streak around week 7!! And when we had some outbursts after that streak those moments of upset looked nothing like they used to! The length went from hours to minutes literally, and the intensity was about 20 percent of the original meltdowns!
M - We have cut meltdowns back and the ones we do have are short lived and less intense
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
R - The mindset stuff. I knew I needed help before I could help him. I went from crumbling and withering around his big emotions to remaining calm and present with a straight face and tools and skills ready to be used in the moment.

M - Learning how to stay calm
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
R - An improved understanding of my own mom. I felt a very unexpected patience for her. And she told me she noticed it too.
M - Better relationship with my wife
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

R - I was really starting to worry about [our infant daughter]. Helping [our HSC] with these meltdowns was so time consuming!! Literally I'd have to set down the baby and she would be all by herself until I could attempt to calm him down. Now I feel like she is safe, she is more a part of us, I can give her the attention she needs too, and I can enjoy both kids.

M - More peaceful transitions with big events
- Rochelle & Matt, joined Bootcamp Spring 2021
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We were living in a state of exhaustion, stress, and worry. Your FB ad with the girl under the desk caught my attention because that was literally happening here. As I started getting your emails and watching videos, I saw [our 9 y.o. HSC] and our family in every single one of them in some way. I finally shared a video with [my husband] that I knew would resonate with him. Then we were on the phone with Devon about 2 days later signing up for Bootcamp and feeling hopeful for change! Before bootcamp, we were struggling with daily meltdowns that were getting bigger and bigger. Even [our HSC] expressed that she had big feelings and she didn't know what to do when they took over. We wanted to help her, but we couldn't figure out how.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I think we just felt like we were stuck and like that was the way it was going to be for our family. I also worried about how much worse it could get for [our HSC]  and what we would encounter as she got older. We have seen so many changes already since starting Bootcamp. Now we believe that [our HSC] can feel her big emotions and learn how to move through them and dissipate them and that we can do the same. We believe that so much more positive change is in store for our family.
Our results: * We have gone from daily meltdowns to maybe one every week and a half to two weeks. * Daily mindfulness practice for me (Mom) which has helped so much more than I could have imagined. * Purposefully being present during time with family and enjoying that time more. * We went from school refusal during online school to having mostly positive days at in person school after the first couple weeks of transition.
#1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?

I think the work on our mindfulness and mindsets as parents have had the biggest impact for us. So many things started changing even in the first couple weeks as we changed the way we approached situations by slowing down and noticing our emotions in our bodies.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Again, the mindfulness we have learned and the adjustments to our mindsets. It was a surprise how much changing those things affected so much the dynamic of the family. We look forward to continuing to work on this growth as we move forward.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?

* Looking at our list, #1 was to look forward to the day instead of dreading what was to come. This is huge! I was waking up every morning for months with a knot in my stomach and a tight chest, so worried to face the day. That is not happening anymore! On the rare occasion it does, I am able to quickly determine what it is about that day I am feeling stress about and either coach my way through it [and use the skills you taught us]. This may be my favorite result of Bootcamp and it is absolutely tied to so many of the other changes. * Another thing on our list was date nights - we have been out to dinner by ourselves twice since Bootcamp started. * Better rest for all of us with [our HSC] sleeping through the whole night. Before Bootcamp, she was waking up several times a week and often not able to get back to sleep at all after waking up as early as 4 in the morning. Now, she sleeps through the night more often than not. When she does wake up, she is able to get back to sleep so much faster. * Starting mornings without drama - this has become the case more often than not. Mondays are still hard, but even this Monday was better than the last few. *Dad being able to help with [our HSC] while Mom is at home without [our HSC] seeking out Mom. Dad's work at being fully present and more playful has made a huge difference and [our HSC] is even seeking out time with him sometimes. This is just a few. As I look at our list, I see that we have already accomplished several of the goals we listed, and I can see the others coming!
- M. & H., Texas, joined Bootcamp Winter 2020
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S- I wanted a happier family life. I wanted to gain confidence as a parent, and thrive, rather than barely survive it. I really struggled with liking my kids. And enjoying them. Mom guilt. Negative self talk.

A- Felt like we needed help. Fostering independent kids, and meltdowns.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?

S- Mindset was this is just how it is, it sucks, my kid doesn't like me, they are not enjoyable. I assumed he was choosing the hard, and over sensitive.
 A- The kids were becoming jerks. That they just needed to toughen up.
Our results: S- Better understanding of HSC. I personally feel less panic... And yes, relationships have improved some. I don't think [5 y.o. HSC]  has hit in weeks! I can't remember the last time it happened. Also he hasn't screamed as much.

A- Fewer meltdowns per week. More cooperation.
#1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
S- Mindest meetings!

A- The specific rules and practices laid out.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
S- better mindself for myself. I didn't know this would be a lot of work on myself. I needed it, and loved changing my mindset! (My hubby says I take better care of myself and am in a better mood)

A- enjoying role playing and games with the kids. That the methods were effective so quickly.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Reduce everyone's anxieties and stress. Big things will be less hard. Have more energy. Feel confident as a parent, less helpless. Feel more confident about their future. Let go of the guilt/shame I feel. Have more patience, rather than a short fuse. and a few others we feel close to.
- S. & A., Illinois, joined Bootcamp Winter 2020
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My main reason for reaching out for support was because I could see that my son lacked the skills to deal with his big emotions and that our attempts as parents to teach him those skills were failing. I was very worried that if we did not act now, his skill deficit would grow and he would someday face thoughts of self-harm or suicide. I watched a video about the mission of this program and knew this was what Megghan and her team do and that this was the right fit for us. Before we joined, we struggled with physical aggression, setting limits confidently, our son making scary threats to hurt himself and others, and feeling like he might seriously injure his younger brother. As parents we also argued about how to handle the situations because of the level of stress we were under.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Reassurance is not the answer. This was so difficult for me to grasp because I love the feeling of being reassured and I know that my son does too. I also realize this is not a long term solution. I thought that in order for him to get through tough emotions he always needed that reassurance, yet I learned that he can do hard things. And I can handle his discomfort and do hard things too.
Our results:
- Lengthened fuse: [Our 5 y.o HSC] has had up to 3 days without major physical aggression 
- Increased insight with understanding that anxiety is the root of both physical aggression and frenetic energy. 
- Increased number of days with calm parent responses 
- Increased understanding of importance of preparation, preplanning and predictability for [our HSC]
#1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Our family now has a plan that we can follow and a system we know that works from people we know are experts who we trust.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
I found a new career goal in my journey...coaching! As I went through this program and experienced the benefits of what coaching offers that I had not been offering my clients in therapy, I realized that my passion would be better suited in coaching. I am excited to work toward a new career!
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
Some of our goals we have not been able to try due to Covid 19; however, [our 5 y.o. HSC] did try to shovel a little with [Dad] and was able to do that for a few minutes. [Dad] was able to make a phone call to his parents yesterday actually and we had a Zoom birthday party just this weekend. These are things that we struggled to do before.
- Laura & Steve S., Michigan, joined Bootcamp Winter 2020
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Daily extreme meltdowns and aggression towards siblings.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
We were very skeptical that this program would work. I've read a lot of parenting books. I assumed this wouldn't work either and he would continue to struggle the rest of his life.
Our results: There is almost zero physical violence against his sisters. Meltdowns are less severe. Our relationship has improved and we understand his needs better. He is using strategies learned more frequently.
My own mindset has changed tremendously. When I am in a good head space and am mindful of my own emotions, it can change the entire mood of the house.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
My other children (not HSCs) have been using the tools we have been practicing. Everyone thinks emotions are fun and are talked about daily.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?
There are no fist fights between siblings! After meltdowns it takes way less time to bounce back. We don't argue nearly as much. We can include littlest sister in games with her "own rules" so we all can have fun without meltdowns. We actually have fun and enjoy each other in our house!
- Sarah & Josh N., Illinois, joined Bootcamp Winter 2020
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We made the decision to work with you because all of your videos described our daughter 100%! Everything!
Prior to joining bootcamp, I thought my daughter was very dramatic over everything.
Since joining, I learned that she is truly struggling and not just being dramatic. Meltdowns are less and duration is much shorter. A pleasant surprise is our relationship has improved 100%. She’s sharing more with us!!
A huge AHA moment was that I did not realize our relationship needed improvement and that I was not calm, so both areas have improved tremendously!!
Now we actually have fun and laugh instead of every moment of the day being difficult. She does not negotiate anymore, is not argumentative and will typically follow through with what is needed without a possible meltdown that could last hours. She’s beginning to stand up to her friend and also is talking to us openly more now. I’ve learned to be more aware of areas she struggles and help her navigate them. My calm has increased 100% in being able to help her when she’s struggling. Confidence has also increased drastically in knowing how to help her.
 -Michelle & Rusty B., family of 3; joined Bootcamp in fall 2020
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What was the #1 reason you chose to work with us? 
The number one reason I chose to work with you was because my daughter was out of control. The introduction video described her perfectly in almost every way. She was physically and verbally aggressive, sad, angry, dysregulated at the drop of a dime and uncontrollable in ways that caused me to call the police due to being afraid of our safety. I was struggling to understand WHY she feels the need to behave this way.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
My biggest mindset shift/block was that she really and truly could not control her behavior on her own. I had heard this before as she has struggled with her emotions for a long time, and had seen many therapists. I knew logically, but didn't know how I should be responding to knowing this. I assumed that if we just talked about it enough or with the right person that she would be able to work it out.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course. 
Weeks 1- 4 especially brought her and I closer together in a way that felt like us. We had so many heart to heart conversations about the past, the future, why some things happened. Just deep, meaningful conversations. Her mood in general during those weeks shifted, like we had hoped things were going to get better, they were, they are. Even her brother mentioned she was easier to be around. We understood each other on a different level.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
The biggest benefit of our work together is the confidence I have gained through learning to help my highly sensitive child navigate this world. I CAN do it. There is a plan that should work, that will work. It may need some adjustments and I will definitely need help along the way, but I now know that I am not alone and have been guided to the right resources even outside of this group to help us along the way.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp?What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?
We really did accomplish SO many goals. She has run errands with her brother, we have gone on many drama free adventures, one big one was a family picture. That was a really special day. We went on a few long walks, had many long talks where she shared her feelings comfortably. We had many special days that I will remember and cherish forever.
 -Ivy B., family of 3; Illinois, joined Bootcamp in fall 2020
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Daily meltdowns, I was exhausted and regulating everyone’s nervous systems, [our 5 year old HSC] not knowing her own feelings (and talking about them spurred shame), and I was always bracing for the impact of a meltdown
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
I was feeling resentful of my husband for not “getting” it, and I felt so much guilt over not knowing how to help my own kid.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course. *
 
I LIKE being around my daughter now now, and I even notice so many more qualities of her little face. Before, just looking at her would make me grit my teeth because I resented her and then I felt guilty for resenting her. She has experienced big feelings in the last two weeks, but she hasn’t had a meltdown in those two weeks despite plenty of triggering events. She’s starting to make voices for her toys and is playing make believe with them. She wasn’t doing this at all before, and she’s 5! The fact that what we’re doing has even shaped her independent play astounds me and is one of the most surprising concrete outcomes I’ve seen. My husband and I actually talk about the day’s events now and we strategize together. We were not communicating clearly or effectively before.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
I have tools to help my child help herself, and I know how those tools fit together. That was what I REALLY wanted before we started. It felt like I had so many “pieces” but didn’t know how they all fit. I understand how it all pieces together now, and I finally feel capable of assembling them. I really needed that confidence boost because I was feeling so defeated before we started this program.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
A change in her independent play. A change in how my husband and I communicate with each other. It feels like he understands me better than he did before, and I know how to advocate for my needs just like we’re teaching our daughter to advocate for hers.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? (Recall your list of 20 when you started if you need a reminder :) What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?
I can work virtually with students at night and [our HSC] gives me a kiss before I get to work and is totally fine with me working. I even left for a massage the other day and she watched me as I left. I’ve actually gotten work done at night, and I can even go to bed earlier because I don’t feel so stressed out 24/7. I’ve been going to bed earlier some nights! Dad’s relationship with our daughter has improved significantly and it makes me want to cry happy tears. She will go to him for things now and not consistently expect me to do it for her even when he’s in the room. We went to a park and she didn’t melt down when we left. She wasn’t happy about leaving, but she still cooperated and left. She handled one of her dizzy spells by herself!! Can explain how clothes don’t fit right and can adjust based on physical needs. She gets herself into the car seat and all situated so that she doesn’t have a wedgie. She’s been going to bed at a decent hour most nights. She will even fall asleep in the middle of her sister still being awake and making noise. She took a nap in the middle of the day! There are more moments of problem solving versus resorting to violence. This wasn’t happening at all before.
-Danielle and Jeff W., Maryland, family of 4; joined Bootcamp in fall 2020

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Our child (age 9) didn't want to be alive, and the characteristics described in the initial video sounded like they fit. You sounded like you knew her - when no one else has understood.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
We thought she was being manipulative.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course. 
Since week three, she has only discussed not wanting to be alive three times, and the caveat is that she said, but I'm not going to do anything about it (as in I'm staying put). Most of the dialogue has shifted to "life is so hard," " I want chore list to die." Her ruminations are for less time and she can sometimes shift to an activity without intervention. Improved relationships with her! She has worked to make friends. We understand her better; her brother understands her better. She can see things outside of herself sometimes now.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
We can imagine and now experience family life knowing that she can live without suicidal ideation. There is life beyond the bad feelings.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
She stopped wetting the bed! You turned us toward a pediatric nutritionist.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? 
#1 Brushing hair is much better! #2 Hygiene: Both kids are taking showers when they come home from school to help keep dad safe. They are clean and it makes hair easier to brush! #3 We feel like she can manage situations away from home better and aren't so worried for her #4 Siblings have been playing together more peacefully and enjoying evenings together. #5 Not asking for as much reassurance that she is loved. It's a few times a week instead of a few times a day. #6 She has friends #7 She is willing to be by herself for quiet time. We are still working to lengthen the time, but she takes time by herself now without us suggesting it. #8 She does have healthier relationship with food AND it can get better. #10 Mom stopped yelling at Dad
-Rachel and Ash G., family of 4, Ohio, joined Bootcamp fall 2020
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We chose to work with you because all your email ads spoke our reality. We could not get over how much your messages hit the heart of different aspects of our struggle as parents and as a family. We were struggling with our son running off from home, not wanting to be with the family and him having really strong meltdowns that had gotten aggressive.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
Marcos: The assumption that our parenting style is just fine, we are not the problem. Raina: The block of we are just going to need to keep struggling through life as a family.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course:
Neither child is tearing the house apart anymore! Our son no longer runs away from home, he hangs out with us for meals and happily chats, and his daily meltdown cycle has stopped. I feel so much more connected with both our children; I had this sense of losing emotional nearness to my son when our daughter was born and could not figure out how to have him feel loved and not feel so angry about having a sibling, but I know he feels our love now, even if he gets jealous once in awhile. We are aware of both our HSC's triggers now and can plan ahead to avoid some triggers or help them to work through triggers using our new skills.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Marcos: The parenting tools: having an actual response method that works. Raina: Having a systematic approach which was empowering and action oriented.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Yes, loads of them! Where to begin? 1. The emotional thawing out of our youngest HSC. 2. Strengthening of a personal mindset practice. 3. Better sleep for our daughter, age 4. 4. More peaceful play between the kids 5. Transformative emotional healing!
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? (Recall your list of 20 when you started if you need a reminder :) What's possible now that you have more peace in your home?
We accomplished our whole list of 20 goals from when we started! We can enjoy family dinners, we can have fun together as a family, we can enjoy both kids simultaneously, we can relax, we can laugh more, we can trust our son, HSC, age 9, we get to love a lot more!
-Raina and Marcos L., Wisconsin, family of 4, joined Bootcamp fall 2020 for their 2 HSCs 
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The #1 reason we chose to work with you was your expertise in the highly sensitive child. I had done quite a bit of research on my own and although I understood [our oldest son’s] sensitivity, vulnerabilities and triggers well, I was at a loss on how to effectively set limits, handle meltdowns, alleviate his physical aggression and support him in a way where he didn't feel like a bad kid. We had tried to see local help starting around 4 yo and were frustrated with a general ignorance of the HSC trait and recommendations for methods we had tried that simply didn't work and made things worse. I found the Parent of HSC Ninja facebook and all of the videos I watched of Megghan described exact scenarios we were dealing with, struggles [he] was having and the disconnect we were feeling as a couple not backing each other up. I booked a call within 48 hours. We were struggling with safety and [our son’s] physical aggression toward his little brother as our top priority. We had just had a third baby and saw the physical aggression escalate again. We also had recently dealt with a falling out with a new nanny who was not skilled in handling [our HSC] and quite offended by his behavior toward her. I was at a loss of how to effectively communicate skills and strategies she could implement to manage his behavior. [He] was basically running our household based on his mood and we were walking on eggshells without effective ways to set limits and consequences. He also refused to talk to us about feelings and events leading up to the outbursts as he was repeatedly in shame spirals. When he started saying repeatedly he was the worst, a bad kid and didn't know what he was meant for, I knew we needed immediate help beyond what we were doing for him. In addition to the aggression, we have struggled with [him] following through with simple house expectations (asking to be excused, plate to sink after eating, shoes in cubby) and hygiene like brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc. Picky eating and poor eating habits have also been a concern.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
He is not giving us a hard time, he is having a hard time. We have had a strong assumption that [he] is being manipulative or hateful and physically aggressive (kicking, hitting) on purpose to hurt us and the relationship. We have a better understanding of the fight/flight/freeze response, impulsive behavior, what is developmentally appropriate and that he likely does not have full control of his body under these circumstances. We also understand that we are often the barrier to what he wants and anger is a secondary emotion and attempt to gain power when vulnerable. This has really helped me separate the "me" and my feelings out of the scenario of what is going on and to take things a lot less personally.
Our Results: Eliminating meltdowns. Vastly decreasing physical and verbal aggression and repeated attempts to choose effective behavior instead. [He] is able to name his emotions and name more of his emotions shortly after the moment rather then stuffing them and it has allowed us to help him better and work toward a solution together I have seen more genuine smiles and have had conservations that have opened me up to the world through my special son's eyes without his shutting down and being embarrassed or ashamed of his ideas I feel less fearful of being home alone or in public with [him] and his brother(s) as I feel more capable of handling them. My husband and I are backing each other up and discussing strategies on the same page rather than disagreeing and feeling we are not respecting the other's position when interacting with and setting consequences for [our HSC]. [Our 7 year old HSC] and [3.5 y.o son] are able to play together for extended periods of time without having to be hypervigilant and are starting to work through solutions together -it is wonderful to see their relationship as brothers blossom.
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Having the tools for both my husband and I to effectively and consistently set limits, validate our HSC and improve our relationship with our son. (#2 bonus- the insight I gained into my own childhood and life and all of the mindset work I was able to do for myself as a parent, in my career and in my other personal relationships)
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
As I mentioned last question, I didn't expect to have access to such support for myself and my own mindset. I had no idea how much my mindset, assumptions, emotional reactivity impacted my family, work and other relationships. Understanding that I can implement mindset practices to actually be capable of change in this capacity has opened up a whole new world and future for me rather than just having to accept that this is just the way I am going to be.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? 
1. Being able to leave [HSC] playing with his brother and not constantly worry about safety 2. Both boys doing consistent quiet time daily which helps them and gives my husband and I a break 3. Our son turning off screens without ignoring us, screaming or throwing things 4. Being able to sleep without waking up with sick feelings of shame, fear, guilt as a parent 5. Feeling in control of staying calm and hanging in there with our HSC no matter what behavior he has.
 
-L. & J., Oregon, family of 5, joined Bootcamp fall of 2020

 

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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
We chose to work with you because the HS trait is something we were completely unaware of until I saw an ad of yours on Facebook. I started receiving your emails and was always amazed at how closely they described our son. After speaking with you on the first call, we jumped in head first because we were dealing with multiple daily meltdowns and struggles that we just didn't know how to deal with because the traditional parenting strategies didn't seem to work for him. We also were hearing him say he didn't deserve anything or didn't deserve to live and from a 7 year old, that was incredibly scary.
What would you say was your biggest mindset block or assumption about your child or about what's possible for your family that you have overcome?
That he's just doing this to be difficult. That he's purposely doing things that are extreme to get reactions. We now know and understand that isn't the case.
Please share any concrete and/or measurable outcomes that you experienced as a result of this course:
For me, I have increased my understanding of [our son] so much more than I could have anticipated. I am not HS and was not aware something like this existed prior to a few months ago so it has been really eye opening. I think also accepting that [our son] has different needs from me as a parent has really strengthened our relationship and I've seen the changes in the relationship between [my husband/his dad] and him as well. We are also down to one, if any, meltdowns every day which is a huge improvement!
What would you say was the #1 biggest benefit for you in our work together?
Accepting that we don't need to parent the way everyone else does and even our own children need different things from us to be successful and have a good relationship.
Were there any unexpected results you achieved from this program?
Learning more about the HS trait has helped me in learning more about my husband and our relationship. While I can't always employ the same strategies, it has helped us to recognize things between us that could be improved and how to improve them.
What dream goals have you accomplished during Bootcamp? 
Now that there is more peace in our home, we are able to do more things and now have to worry about the stress of emotional outbursts or meltdowns every time we leave the house. We are able to enjoy our family time in the mornings and evenings with no fights or meltdowns to transition to school or bed respectively. We are able to have peace in our home like we never have before and there is so much less yelling from all parties.
—Jamie and John N., Maryland, family of four: parents of twin 7 year olds, one is HSC, joined Bootcamp fall of 2020
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What were you struggling with prior to joining?
Before joining Bootcamp, our 6 year old son was making “Just kill me" statements, exhibiting school refusal, and having meltdowns.
When we started, we struggled with believing that he was just being bad because he wanted to, and that he was by nature a disobedient and disruptive person.
Now, 8 weeks later, he only has meltdowns rarely. I feel like a good parent who isn't failing every day. I have a much better understanding of [my son’s] needs.
I’ve finally gained an understanding of my child's needs and how to address them effectively.
This wasn’t expected, however, he spontaneously asked to start sleeping in his own bed!
We’ve achieved the following results in Bootcamp:
No more "just kill me" statements. Rarely has meltdowns. No school refusal. Family dinners without screens. No threatening with utensils. No trashing the house. No fighting about getting off screens. No refusal to brush teeth. He takes quiet time when asked.
N., a dad from Illinois, joined Bootcamp fall of 2020, family of 4
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I saw the advertisement for the free training and after listening thought that it sounded a lot like my daughter, age 11. I scheduled a call and it was like Megghan wrapped up our family life and described our daughter so perfectly after just 30 min of discussion. It hit home. We chose to go through the boot camp because I wanted my daughter to live up to her full potential and not freeze or hide her true self out of fear. Prior to joining, we struggled with her not wanting to try new things, freezing when coming up to something that was difficult and then resultant shame not being able to do something.
Prior to joining boot camp, resentment was probably my biggest mindset block. Knowing that she is smart and capable but not performing like she should. Unfortunately we as parents weren't speaking to the right side of her brain...
Since completing bootcamp, full blown meltdowns are rare. She is much less likely to hide or completely stop an activity. If she is frustrated, we can talk it out. We, as parents, can stay present (huge gain) and grateful. She is gravitating toward new and more challenging books (this was a struggle before). She stands taller and has more confidence in herself. Our relationship is calmer and I don't get stressed talking about emotions!
A huge AHA moment I had was learning that I probably share the HSP trait and that my emotional state has the biggest impact on her. I need to continue to work on me to help her thrive. We [as parents] stay calmer as a whole. We can manage our own emotions better. Also recognizing things that our daughter innately does that are beneficial for her and then supporting her in replicating them (ie drawing, etc).
We now have no stress at bedtime! It was a nightmare before! We witness her picking more challenging tasks and not shying away. She shows confidence with sleepovers (away from home). She’s verbalizing her needs. She’s able to play with her brother with less fighting.
M., Florida, family of 4, participated in Bootcamp during coronavirus

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From “Helpless” to Capable Parents of Toddlers in a Pandemic

Our HSC has always been sensitive with big emotions, but we didn't know how to name it prior to meeting Megghan. Once COVID /shelter in place hit, my husband became a defacto stay at home dad while I continue(d) to work from home. This put even more of the responsibility than before, and as the main working parent, he's been more of the primary caregiver. Being home with our HSC (almost 4 at the time) and his sister (non-HSC, but almost 2) all day everyday was putting us both at our limit, and we didn't know how to navigate the situation; we just felt helpless.
I think we had conflicting ideas that this was a phase that our HSC was taking a really long time to grow out of (terrible twos, terrible threes, fearsome fours, etc) and at the same time wondering if this is how he'd always be, and there was no way to change it other than giving in, yelling, or letting his teachers do all the work. Switching the mindset that as his parents, it's OUR job to help him manage through the big feelings, not avoid them or make them feel better has really changed the outlook in our home. 
Coming to terms with the fact that I'm an HSP, I understand better why my HSC's most "annoying" traits bother me the most; because they're the traits about me that I don't like, or that I have learned to manage. So my relationship with my child has improved, and my relationship with my husband as well, since we're not as wiped from a full day of meltdowns.
The ability to access Megghan in crisis so I could troubleshoot in the moment was the #1 biggest benefit.
The support community was a huge benefit, but also unexpected. In Week 1, I didn't see the benefit of being with a group of people who started at a different time than I did, or had HSCs that were older than my child. I've come to find that seeing how far people had come for the ones who joined before us, and the seeing how people started out for the ones who joined after us was encouraging on both sides. And I found an accountabilibuddy who has been going through a very similar journey!
I now know we can go on outings (once it's safe). We know the signs of a meltdown and can go quickly to the strategy.  We try to celebrate the wins, however small, and see the benefit in the small gains adding up to bigger gains.
--J., New Jersey, family of 4
Prior to starting bootcamp, our HSC (age 4) was having meltdowns/tantrums many times a day. He was becoming increasingly aggressive toward our baby. I consider myself a pretty skilled parent, but we were just spinning our wheels. Each day was just putting out one fire after another and we were too emotionally exhausted to think.
Our HSC is getting better at understanding his feelings and communicating with us. In challenging situations he used to just freeze and then act out all his uncomfortable feelings later. Now he’s telling me what he feels and what he needs, and those challenging situations are still challenging.... but he can handle it! He is hitting his brother a few times a week instead of many times every day. I know this will continue to get even better as we continue to use the habits we’ve developed in bootcamp. Our HSC is playful, silly, creative, and engaging. Prior to bootcamp he was sad and mad almost all of the time. Before bootcamp our HSC would usually hit me if I told him “no” to something he wanted. Now he usually says “ok mom” and then just moves on!!!!!! I honestly wouldn’t believe this if I wasn’t seeing it with my own eyes.
Our family is really enjoying time together. Seeing my kids laugh and play together is so beautiful.
We enjoy family dinnertime, everyone sitting at the table together. We laugh and eat and talk about our days. Our HSC is able to go into a new/unknown situation and stay regulated. Our HSC is starting to try new foods. I can relax or do my own project while our kids play together, without worrying that our HSC will intentionally hurt his little brother. Our HSC is enjoying play dates!!!!!! He’s navigating social challenges with peers and persisting when it’s rocky. He is having a blast and isn’t melting down during or after play dates! It’s a breeze to wash our HSC’s hair now! Our HSC notices how he’s feeling and often knows what he needs and is able to communicate it to us clearly.
—Toni D., Washington, family of 4, participated in Bootcamp during coronavirus
We called Megghan when my preschooler was having a lot of meltdowns... right after Christmas the meltdowns jumped up to 20 plus per day. We knew we needed help. We chose to work with her because everything in the informational talk made sense to us in terms of how it would relate to our preschooler.
My preschooler and I have dramatically improved our relationship. We now have the sweet, fun relationship I'd always hoped we'd have. His meltdowns have also dramatically decreased. He's able to process his BIG emotions in a healthy way. And when he does meltdown or have BIG emotions, I feel fully equipped to help him through them.
I now have my sweet relationship with my son!!!!! And seeing him learn to deal with disappointment and avoid an OCD diagnosis!
We can have conversations at the dinner table!! We can now drive over 30 minutes from our home. We are planning to travel out-of-state for Christmas to see family. My preschooler can handle his BIG emotions!!! We are experiencing more and more meltdown-free days!
- D, age 42, family of 3 -Enrolled in Bootcamp January 2020, sent feedback 4/2/2020

 

 

You came highly recommended by Ashley E. Prior to joining we were struggling with daily meltdowns multiple times a day. Daily I was feeling a sense of dread every morning I woke up, feeling like I didn’t understand how to help my child.
We hardly have any meltdowns now. We have the occasional emotional outburst, but haven’t had a meltdown in weeks. My daughter is able to remain calmer for longer periods of time, expressing that she is making an effort and we are able to communicate much more effectively. I understand her behavior much better now and feel so much closer to her. We feel like a team rather than adversaries.
I now understand my daughter better and she feels like she is understood.
After 8 weeks, this is what we have achieved so far:
Be able to discuss frustrations without shame talk…..Attend soccer practice without tears (still have an occasional emotional outburst but super short lived!)….Go through my days without feeling exasperated……No more hitting….No more kicking….Have a greater understanding of who my child is and how her brain works….Parent with confidence…Feel connected to [my daughter]…Sense her feeling connected and safe with me during hard moments. It’s possible for us to have fun together and not feel like we are all walking on eggshells.

-Jennifer L., California, family of 3, participated in Bootcamp during coronavirus

 

 

We were at a loss as to what to do to help our Highly Sensitive Child cope with everyday tasks and the anger and shame he was feeling on a regular basis that led to him having severe meltdowns and intense emotions about himself, including the fact that he didn't think he deserved to be on this earth.
Once we went through bootcamp, we haven't seen any horrible meltdowns that lead to him saying he wants to leave the earth. When he does have a meltdown, we can get through it much faster and he's much more responsive with the strategies we've learned in bootcamp. Our family interactions are now more positive, and we can spend more time on having fun instead of managing our son's BIG emotions. His emotions toward us as parents has shifted drastically, and now that our relationship has been repaired and we are connecting on a regular basis throughout the day, when he does experience his big emotions he feels safe enough that he will allow us to help him through them.
The biggest benefit is that now our "toolbox" is full again of strategies that we know work, and we have more confidence as parents in how to help our child. We no longer experience the crippling anxiety of not knowing what to do to help our child when he's spiraling or having big emotions. We have faith in ourselves which in turn shows our son that we have faith in him that he can get through to the other side.

-S., Connecticut, family of 4

 

 

Before we worked with Megghan, our quality in family life was at an all-time low. We believe early intervention is key to preventing problems down the road. We were in therapy and it didn't seem to be working well. We were struggling on all things discipline. Every request had turned into a tantrum. Every disappointment was a tantrum and we couldn't go a day without hitting someone, sister or at school.
Now, he is able to talk to me about what was going on with his feelings instead of being Fort Knox. He is better at verbalizing [his feelings].
I am no longer crying every night worried that he was going to go down the wrong path. We experience much less stress. So much less yelling. [We’ve experienced] overall improvement in our family life. My husband and I were skeptical at first, but it's such a relief to know we have support.
-A., Texas, family of 5

 

 

I knew something in our family dynamic had to change, and that the changes needed were beyond the scope of my expertise. Coming off of a particularly challenging weekend with my son, the Bootcamp course popped up in my Facebook feed (I had already been following Megghan’s HSC group) and I decided it was a sign to take the leap. I knew I didn’t want things to get worse the walking on eggshells, rearranging my life to not upset my HSC, putting my daughter second to his needs, constantly justifying thing to my husband about our HSC, some self-esteem issues my little guy was experiencing… you name it… we needed help!
The course worked really well for our family and has changed the dynamic within the household. My son (9) is much more comfortable at home and not in constant defense mode and that translates into improving all other aspects of life. It’s notable that he is feeling validated by all of us (my husband included, who was having trouble relating to our HSC in a way that wasn’t just authority-driven, maybe that was the most profound change of all!) as a direct result of the Bootcamp, change of approach in my parenting style, my confidence in following Megghan Thompson’s approach, openly having hard conversations, etc. my husband (who loves our son very much but didn’t understand him) started to understand our HSC and accept him for who he is!).
All summer long I had the joy of updating Megghan with different small victories along the way. We were able to take a 2.5 week vacation this summer with lots of driving and being out of routine for a long period of time in close quarters! The trip this year was a true pleasure (instead of the nightmare family trip we took two years prior)! The relationship between siblings has improved and my overall level of anxiety has been significantly reduced because I don’t feel like I have to be at 100% readiness at 100% of the time (ready for what? Ready to diffuse time-bomb of a son who might explode! Or a spouse who might as a consequence of the son’s refusal of dinner, or a meltdown or a whatever).
Another HUGE change has been that my son is able to verbalize much better what’s going on in a situation and how he’s feeling about it. Previously he would just clam up and not say anything (or start hitting himself in the head). We haven’t entirely stopped meltdowns, but if they happen they are rare, and we generally can diffuse the situation much sooner, I think primarily because he’s feeling emotionally safer and his overall anxiety is reduced. I have started talking to teachers and others about my HSC in a different way that advocates for his strengths and frames his challenges in a helpful way. I still may use a label here and there, but it’s coming from a place of calm confidence and not defensiveness as I advocate for him. I feel like I could go on and on...

Having someone in my corner, who understood the challenges of the HSC gave me confidence to try the plan, and follow through. Before I felt so out of my league as a parent! Having mini-scripts to follow and/or a plan, and someone to talk to about all of it was the catalyst to find the strength to move forward, giving me back the confidence that had been eroded over time my parenting instincts were not wrong, but I just needed some tools to move forward and recalibrate. I am so grateful to have found Megghan, truly.

-Amy F.

 

 

Watch Amy's Interview

 

Watch Toni's Interview

How one FRIED mama went from wearing her baby NONSTOP to keep him safe from her preschooler’s hits, to regularly relaxing on the couch with her hubby while the kids play safely.

 

Jennifer's Story

How one mom beat the cycle of shame, hopelessness and worry.

 

Listen to Rachel & Ash's Story

How they went from 5-6 meltdowns a day with 2 HSC's and reducing suicidal thoughts by more than 90% in 8 weeks!

 

Watch Ashley's Interview

How this mom of 2 HSC's helped her 6 year old go from frozen to thriving in school

 

From Helpless Hostage of Anxiety to a Happy Home Life... How one family helped their HSC shine without forcing it

 

Raina & Marco's Story

Hear how Raina and Marcos supported their 2 HSCs in stopping the daily meltdown cycle, learn how to communicate their emotions safely, and bring back joy in their home, all while homeschooling in a pandemic!

 

Watch Carissa's Interview

Learn about the decisions they made to live in a home meltdown free during a pandemic, sustain this lasting change for a year, and feel more empowered than ever...even when the world is saying many people's choices are shrunk.

 

Jamie & John's Story

These parents stopped the cycle of 5 meltdowns a day while working from home in a pandemic with their 7 year old twins…in 8 weeks!

 

Rewriting Our Family’s Story: Savannah & Alan

Savannah shares the struggles her family was facing before finding help. Now she feels fully capable of support her HSC and rewriting her family's story.

 

We create a culture of celebration.

Parents notice changes in their child quickly!

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