When you feel like giving up...

Uncategorized Mar 05, 2021
 

You’re at your wit’s end. You’re emotionally exhausted from tip toeing around your child...DAILY.

You’re a shell of a person...and probably feel like a failure as a parent.  Are you and your child destined for this forever?  Will it EVER get better? 

The idea of 5 or 10 more years of this feels paralyzing. Will it get worse? 

You’re not sure what feels more terrifying:  a future plagued with meltdowns (and worsening behavior)...or the fact that deep down, you feel like giving up on your child. 

Ugh. The ultimate “stuck between a rock and a hard place”.  

Fear not. You’re just missing 3 key decisions that can turn this around fast.  Watch this video to learn what these are and how these can take you from emotionally exhausted to empowered, so you can truly help your kid help themselves. 

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Myth Busting: Irritability is NOT part of the Highly Sensitive Trait!

 
I just got off the phone with two parents who explained their child’s behavior as
‘always on’…
 
…what I heard was that their child is like an electric eel.
 
Ready to shine her light beautifully, light up the room, but unfortunately, also ready to zap anyone who got in the way of her objective.
 
The hardest part of parenting a child like this, who is sensitive but smolders it with her FIERY passion, is the labels that come with being “that kid.”
 
Let’s dive in to learning how “irritability” is actually a sign of a lack of skill, and is not an innate quality of the Highly Sensitive personality trait.
 
Because once you know more about that, you’ll learn how to see that your child needs to learn more than you think they do at this age to break out of this pattern.
 
When you’re ready to bust through the meltdown cycle and help your child live their happiest life,...
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Getting clear on your child's emotions...

Uncategorized Feb 12, 2021

I just got off the phone with a parent who was angry after I asked him to express how his child’s emotions are affecting him.  

It was heartbreaking. 

Not because he was angry with the conversation, but because he did not understand how getting clear on his emotions were the key to unlocking the pain of his child’s meltdowns.

The myth that you can help your child just by focusing on the goal (better communication, no meltdowns, change motivation to complete homework, etc.) is one society teaches you a lot.  

When we acknowledge our own understanding of our child’s meltdowns, and get clear on what we believe to be the true cause, we can shift our perspective.

You are riddled with advice on what to do to fix your problems parenting your HSC. It’s all over the internet. Pinterest posters about emotions; lesson plans on social skills; emotional growth mindset workbooks, free printable from mommy bloggers who want to help you connect with your...

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Feeling Disconnected with your Spouse About What’s Driving the Meltdowns?

Uncategorized Feb 11, 2021

Two parents, two different plans, two different perspectives about parenting your HSC…  I hear from parents all the time that they disagree on how to parent their Highly Sensitive Child. 

This makes the problem worse because Highly Sensitive Children, as all children do, thrive on consistency. The bigger problem is when both parents differ, but only one parent sees there’s a problem that needs to be solved. 

When we take a closer look at why this is, we have to notice a big difference between the parents who succeed at solving this problem and the parents who stay stuck. 

Now, I have to caveat this— both parents, when they’re ready to fix this, KNOW it needs to be fixed, but often disagree on the how, this isn’t a problem that leads to feeling stuck— those parents often take action to solve the problem and know following a proven system allows them to do so without the headache and missed opportunities it costs to figure this...

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MYTH BUSTING: Perfectionism: Discussing Depth of Processing vs Analysis Paralysis

 
Join me as I bust a myth about perfectionism and the Highly Sensitive trait.
 
When parents share that their Highly Sensitive Child is a 'perfectionist' they can often attribute this to the personality trait.
 
When this happens, it's hard to discern how to help your child grow without dulling their sensitive strengths.
 
Learn about the difference between perfectionism, depth of processing, and analysis paralysis with me today.
 
When your child is stuck in "I can't" or "I don't know how" you can feel quite frustrated as a parent...
 
...wanting to push, or pull them beyond their comfort zone.
 
Unfortunately, that will usually backfire.
 
Let's discuss how to guide your child towards being comfortable with discomfort, so they can grow beyond their current skill set.
 
If you're ready to truly address this problem from the root, it's time to book a call.
 
Click the link below to speak to a member of my team to...
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Emotional Availability for Learning

 
As you gear up to support your child in the new year after this week's rest, it's crucial that you focus on these factors to support your child in learning both academically and in their relationships.
 
This year has been a challenge for many, and I discuss the factors that are make-or-break for the families who are thriving as they transition back to school in this video.
If you're ready to get out ahead of this and change your family's cycle of frustration AND break out of the meltdown cycle, book your call here:
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Myth Busting: The truth about a Coping Skills Toolbox

 

A typical pattern we hear from parents working to help their child end the meltdown cycle is to focus on their child’s coping skills. 

When you’re in the middle of surviving this cycle you can get stuck in throwing things at the wall to see what sticks…

…So, here’s what the cycle looks like: your child has a meltdown.

You try to help them through it.

While they’re melting down, you’re teaching them to use a skill, and they refuse to use it in the moment…

So, you try to talk about it later…

…and when the next meltdown comes, your child refuses again, and you do it all over again… and again… and again… for all eternity… 

…it seriously feels like it will be, because when you feel this reactive, it’s jarring to think about how your child would ever stop their meltdown behavior.

When your child isn’t consistent with their coping skills it’s quite frustrating to...

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5 reasons WHY you and your spouse ARE actually on the same page

I’m going to speak to you as a wife for a second… My husband has NO parenting expertise. 

I have had to overcome several myths to get us on the same page, the very same ones I helped my clients through early on in my career, before I just simply made a decision to not buy into the story from one parent that the other wasn’t committed. 

Once I made that decision, I stopped hearing from parents that one was less committed than the other.

Once I had a kid, however, I had to remember these decisions and apply them to my husband. Because, as you know, professional and personal lives are different.

So, I did the work. 

When you’re dealing with ending the daily meltdown cycle, it’s important to BELIEVE with every fiber of your being that your spouse wants to live a different life than what you’re living right now. 

It’s your turn:

#1 

MYTH:: Your partner is certain their way “works”.

FACT: Your partner knows...

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Survival Mode Parenting

 

For many, this year has been a whirlwind of intense emotions, loss, grief and disruption. And many opportunities of growth have posed themselves for parents.

In that avenue, this year has been one of witnessing hundreds of parents reaching out for help, accessing it,  setting their sensitive children up for success while simultaneously learning how to set boundaries for themselves.  A feat for parents of sensitive children to begin with, and in a pandemic, an even bigger achievement.

Now more than ever, your children are looking to you to see how they can respond to fear.

Your priority as a parent is to stay strong, guide yourselves, and focus on love as we lead our children to manage emotions from a place of compassion.

This disruption to the family dynamic while the country creates safety in a pandemic isn’t going away for many months. If your child isn’t emotionally available for learning in a new setting, they can fall further behind in their schooling as...

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Sticker Charts are Screwing You

I wanted to talk today about a common misconception that a lot of my HSC parent clients face when they think about teaching their child responsibility and follow-through (and to just freakin' get ready on time).

Look, as someone who grew up getting paid for her A’s on report cards, it’s hard for me to write this because cash in the bank felt good in my childhood/teen years, (despite having my first job at age 12). But what we as parents don’t often realize, is that these rewards (be it stickers, money, prize boxes or praise) actually lead to long term struggle.

The logic makes sense on the surface. Work hard, get a reward, work hard again, get another reward, etc. Parents suppose that it will help build a connection that hard work reaps benefits, makes you feel good inside, and builds self-esteem and a sense of feeling capable. What this pattern actually leads to, however, is the exact opposite.

Highly sensitive kids are especially vulnerable to...

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