[Video] Meltdowns causing a disconnect with your spouse?

 

Watch this video if you're interested in learning what to focus on first when you're stuck with your spouse on figuring out what to do to get on the same page.

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The True Power of a Guilt-Trip

When your child is struggling to control their temper, and throws, kicks or yells, it’s hard to know how to stop the cycle. It doesn’t seem like it should be, but when your efforts to teach your child to stop hitting because it hurts others fall on deaf ears, or creates another outburst, it’s easy to get frustrated and feel lost.

Especially when your child’s second meltdown is because your kiddo is defending their choice to hit… or full of shame, embarrassment and regret about needing to behave differently.  

You wrack your brain on how to teach your child without recreating the meltdown. You know your sensitive kiddo needs to learn to control his body, but you don’t want to teach him at the expense of his self-esteem. 

...But conventional wisdom teaches you to use guilt…

 It may not be your first tool in your toolbox, but if you’re set up in this cycle of trying to teach, creating consequences for the aggressive...

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Is parenting a hobby for you?

I’m going to speak controversially, so buckle up. I spoke to a parent the other day who loved her child with all her heart, but was so stuck in the hustle of her day-to-day routine that she appeared to be parenting as if it was a hobby.

You know what I mean: looking at pretty Pinterest lists about great ways to teach your child how to have high self-esteem, beautiful pictures of behavior charts that claim to teach responsibility and family values, and lists of “calming oils” that are going to instantly help her child feel less overwhelmed.

But the fact was, she wasn’t putting half of this free advice into practice in her home. Her child was still struggling. Her marriage was still strained, and she felt like a crap parent.

To put it bluntly, she’s treating her role of parent like a hobby.

Now, please know, I’m not here to place blame or shame, it’s important to note that this is common for parents of Highly Sensitive Kids who just...

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"Try this... it works with my kid"

I saw in a coaching group a recommendation that all coaches train in “some type of therapy to widen their skill set.” Research who you trust to give you advice on your child’s stress responses and what works to change them. 

You can’t train in “some type of therapy.” 2+ years of graduate coursework is required, in addition to 2-3 years of post grad supervised experience, plus an additional 1-2 board exams only to be able to call yourself a licensed therapist. 

...and that doesn’t even mean you’re good at what you do… I noticed a thread in a therapist group the other day where therapists who had been working in the field for 20+ years had never heard of the HS trait.

Thousands of hours in specialty training working with nationally known specialists in healing trauma, child mental health, child and adolescent life threatening behaviors, and the knowledge and system to supervise other professionals to replicate this...

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Why Time-Outs are the WORST

 

Be sure to watch this video on why I’m certain using time-outs are defeating your goals for parenting your child. 

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