You can’t bubble wrap your child forever.
That might sound harsh …
But sometimes, tough love is what we need.
I speak with so many parents who are trying to shield their kid from the outside world.
They’re doing absolutely everything to protect them from harm.
And they’re so afraid to let them do anything that might be a little bit dangerous, or risky, or cause them any kind of distress.
I get it.
I really do.
Because our #1 job, as parents, is to protect our kids.
It’s a natural instinct.
But at the same time, what if this level of protection was actually harming your child?
Here’s what I mean -
Let’s say you’re going to the gym to get stronger.
How do you get stronger muscles?
Well, you have to break them down first, right?
This involves a certain degree of effort, discomfort and stress.
Okay, you’re not going to rip them apart to the point it takes a month to recover.
But when you lift weights, you create ‘micro tears’ in the...
Parenthood is an incredible journey filled with both heartwarming moments and immense challenges.
We understand that firsthand here at MTC because we've been there ourselves.
We know that when your child is facing mental health issues, it can shake you to your core and leave you feeling utterly overwhelmed.
If you're reading this, it means you're
likely in a situation similar to what Rachel and Ash went through with their own HSC. Their little one was battling dark thoughts, expressing a desire to end their own life, and exhibiting behaviors like yelling, shutting down, and refusing to attend school.
Rachel and Ash tried everything—they searched for the right therapists, experimented with various approaches, but nothing seemed to make a difference.
The situation had pushed them to their breaking point, leaving them feeling helpless and unsure of what steps to take next.
Their child's safety and well-being weighed heavily on their minds, and...
Last summer was a nightmare for Lori and her husband, Jeff.
See, while most families were enjoying the longer days, the awesome weather and more time outdoors …
They were going through hell with their HSC.
Like a lot of highly-sensitive children, their son struggled the minute his daily routine changed.
Which meant he was having constant meltdowns.
In their words, the summer was “a nightmare of boredom, frustration and complaints.”
Lori was feeling upset, helpless, and even started having panic attacks.
And Jeff felt like he was failing her, because no matter what he tried, nothing made the situation better.
Realizing they couldn’t solve this alone, they reached out to us.
We worked together for 8 weeks, and in that time, some amazing things happened.
Their son started listening and cooperating.
The daily meltdowns became less severe … Then less frequent … Then they all but disappeared.
Well, I checked in with them recently, and the family are ...
Every parent wants to build unwavering trust with their child.
You want them to come to you when they’re struggling …
Not be afraid of telling you how they’re feeling …
And to have the kind of bond that’s totally unbreakable.
Problem is, most parents don’t have this.
And building that kind of trust is even harder as a parent of an HSC.
Sometimes it feels, no matter what you try, there’s this wall between you.
That wall might just make for awkward conversations, and a lack of connection.
It might mean walking on eggshells at home.
Or, for some parents, it’s by far the biggest cause of stress and sadness in their lives, and a big reason why they’re battling against daily meltdowns.
Now, there’s a bunch of stuff I could share about removing those barriers and building trust.
But actually, most of this comes down to one thing -
See, highly-sensitive children experience meltdowns because they don’t know how to...
While most kids couldn’t be more excited for summer …
… for HSCs, it can be a time of stress, anxiety, and confusion.
That’s why I’m writing today’s post.
After working with 600+ families over the past decade, I know just how difficult summer can be.
Whether you’ve got kids off to camp … You’re planning days out … Or it’s just a break in routine …
HSCs can struggle.
There’s a bunch of stuff I could share.
But I figured the best way to kick things off was to give you a few pointers for the most challenging scenario - If your kid’s off to some kind of summer camp.
So here we go …
First and foremost, I always say it, but getting them prepared ahead of time is vital.
Make them aware they might be in situations where they aren’t 100% comfortable.
Speak with them about what emotions might come up.
And coach them through being emotionally resilient.
You can go a step further as well,...
Putting an end to your HSC’s meltdowns doesn’t have to be difficult.
It doesn’t require yelling or shouting.
You don’t need to give in to their demands.
And you definitely don’t need sticker charts or reward systems.
In fact, you really just need one thing:
Modeling basically means displaying the behavior you want others to adopt.
It’s used a lot in all different types of behavior therapy.
And when done right, modeling is highly effective.
Now, when I first speak to parents about modeling, they’re (understandably) skeptical.
They’re the parent after all, right?
So why can’t they just tell their kiddo what to do?
Well, for one thing, no one likes being told what to do!
And also, even if some children do respond best to being instructed, HSCs don’t
That's where modeling comes in.
Let’s say your kiddo is having a meltdown.
You could try to reason them out of it.
You could start stressing out...
Today’s blog is a must-read for any parent thinking of taking their child to therapy.
See, while hiring a therapist to help with your kid’s needs might seem like a responsible move …
Therapy is one of the best ways to make meltdowns worse.
That probably sounds controversial.
But there are 4 specific reasons I never recommend traditional therapy for HSCs:
Reason #1: Therapy is NOT a change-oriented process
Therapy focuses on feeling better in the moment, not creating lasting change.
And on the rare chance you do find a therapist who’s got an eye on the long-term future …
They tend to forget that highly-sensitive children are significantly uncertain in their capabilities.
That means they often can’t apply the principles taught in-session, to everyday instances that cause them distress and discomfort.
Reason #2: Therapy drives a wedge between the child and parents
Where therapy is child-led, and usually only 1 hour a week …
No time of the year is “easy” for parents of HSCs.
Whether your kid gets super stressed after Christmas …
Hates the change in seasons …
Or experiences extreme anxiety at the start of a new semester …
One time that clients at MTC frequently tell us is a minefield, is the end of the school year.
While most kids are excited for the long, school-free days ahead, for HSCs, the change in routine can be triggering.
This is why it’s so important you know what to do to support them through the transition.
Because your actions here can be the difference between a fun-filled summer, full of amazing memories that last a lifetime -- for them and for you …
And a summer of meltdowns, arguments, and wishing away the days!
To help you out, I put together a quick rundown of summer transition myths vs. facts …
AKA: Your End of Year School Survival Guide:
Myth: Their behavior is manipulative or intentionally difficult.
Fact: Their meltdowns are a...
NEWSFLASH: You don’t have to ‘cope’ with your child being different.
Because being different isn’t a problem.
In fact … It’s a GOOD THING.
I know that might sound weird.
After all, as parents of HSCs, you can often be judged because your kiddo doesn’t conform to social norms.
But when we work with parents here at MTC, we make sure our clients don’t just learn to ‘get by’ with an HSC …
… but actively CELEBRATE their child’s differences.
Now, you might be thinking -
“But Megghan, my child can be challenging. I love them soooo much …
But I don’t know how their challenges are an advantage?”
If that’s you, then here are 5 reasons to LOVE parenting an HSC:
Reason 1: They’re highly creative.
I guarantee your kid notices way more small details than the average child.
And while this might sometimes be frustrating if they stop for 20 minutes when you’re out walking to...
Ever feel like you and your kid are speaking different languages?
And I don’t just mean they’re speaking French, which you studied in high school so you can kinda pick up the odd word …
More like you’re speaking Spanish and they’re speaking Swahili.
If so, that’s a common situation for a lot of HSC parents.
Most I speak with, in fact.
And this clash can make it super difficult to understand their behavior.
Because you wonder why they’re behaving in a way that’s so alien.
And all the reasoning and persuasion in the world doesn’t seem to do anything.
Well, here’s the thing -
While you might think you know the reason your kid is acting up, or having a tough time …
The real reason probably isn’t what you think.
See, where most kids’ challenges are fairly obvious …
The cause of an HSC’s distress, or anger, or frustration is usually a lot deeper, beneath the surface.
It’s easy to assume this...