Do you ever wish you could hang a sign on your head that says “Out of Order,”
Just so everyone would leave you alone for five seconds?
Every parent has this experience.
Between managing the household for multiple people,
Keeping dinner on the table,
Making sure everyone’s shoes has a pair,
And trying to find the seconds in between to brush your own teeth,
It’s easy to feel extremely burnt out after a while.
Throw the meltdown cycle in there and you feel like you don’t even have a chance for peace.
But I’m not going to sit here and just talk about how burnt out you are.
That’s what most mommy bloggers do, and they never really get to the point…
Other than reminding you to wash your hair and put on clean socks.
Which I am in favor of!
But I’m even MORE interested in talking about what you can do to fix this problem.
Not only this problem of the pervasive meltdowns…
But this problem where you feel burnt out...
Are the symptoms from ADHD or the meltdown cycle?
In a world where you can whip out your phone and Google whatever you want,
We are often a victim of information overload.
This can be especially challenging when you are trying to figure out what the heck is going on with your kid.
Between pinterest pins from mommy blogs giving out “expert” advice,
Clinicians evaluating your child based on a 30 minute conversation,
Your own gut knowing that that things you’re trying aren’t quite working,
And your mother in law’s unsolicited advice…
Not to mention that ANYONE can make a podcast now.
How can you really tell the difference between two similar looking diagnoses?
Today, I’m going to talk about ADHD and the Highly Sensitive Trait.
Ready to book a call? Click the link below:
For families with high school aged teens:
It’s true that you can only help people who WANT your help.
That includes your children.
This is a tough spot to be in, because not only do you want to help your child,
It’s literally your most important job on the planet.
It’s scary when you feel like you can’t help your kid.
It’s even scarier when they run away from you and you know they’re upset.
So when your kid shut you out or physically runs away from you,
What do you do first?
Find your kid… Then what?
Lecture them on the dangers of running away?
Yell at them in hopes that if they feel afraid, they won’t repeat the behavior?
Or walk on eggshells in case they do it again?
Chances are, you’ve tried all 3 things here, so I’m going to tell you what you HAVEN’T tried.
Here it is:
Eliminating the daily meltdown cycle all together.
And at MTC, you can do that in as little as 8 weeks.
First, I want to walk you through why your child is exhibiting this behavior.
Taking your child to therapy to help them manage their emotions makes you a great parent.
This might seem like an obvious statement, it’s true.
You’ve chosen to take a different route than your parents probably took,
Because therapy is less stigmatized now than it was even ten years ago.
That takes a lot of guts and trust in yourself.
The thing is, if your child is Highly Sensitive and stuck in the meltdown cycle,
Therapy will not be the best option for your kid.
You might know this, but feel like there are no other options,
And that is where MTC comes in.
First, I want to go over what might not be working in therapy, and why.
If your child is suffering from daily meltdowns,
Hitting, kicking, screaming, flailing, running up to their room and slamming the door,
A therapist will talk about those things with your kid, after the fact.
They will ask them why they think that happened,
And have an in-depth session that could involve both talk therapy and play therapy.
Grabbing your phone in the middle of the night and googling “Why does my kid hate me?” is an experience that I think all parents of sensitive kids and teens have.
You knew that you would sign up for sleepless nights when your kid was an infant.
But now, you lie awake and ponder questions you never prepared for.
Why does my kid hate me?
Why does my kid hide things from me?
How do I get my kid to tell me what’s wrong?
And the worst part about googling these questions is that you never find answers.
The internet, which can tell you almost anything, cannot tell you about your kid.
You know your kid.
So why can’t you figure out the answer to this one?
There are plenty of reasons why, but to give you the jist:
Your feelings are hurt because you are a human, not just a parent.
And you are having trouble sorting through your own feelings to see what is really going on here.
That doesn’t make you a selfish person, or a bad parent.
It’s one of the top nightmares that a parent can experience.
Your kid gets kicked out of school.
Or maybe you’re just on edge 24/7, waiting for the day it happens.
Regardless of where you are, I don’t need to remind you that this is no way to live.
When you are in full on worry mode, you simply can’t be your best self.
Walking on eggshells around this problem doesn’t fix it either.
So let’s rewind.
If your child struggles with the daily or weekly meltdowns,
This can manifest in many different ways.
Sometimes, meltdowns can move from tears to anger between blinks.
Your kid could go from screaming to hitting and kicking a matter for seconds.
And you usually don’t even know where this aggression is coming from.
If this is happening at school, it’s even scarier to manage.
It usually involves multiple school officials,
Time outs, getting your red card pulled, getting sent to the principal's office,
All things that feel...
A question you never thought you’d ask other parents when you decided to become a parent:
How long does it take your kid to brush their teeth?
Because you know that even though it’s an annoying and daily chore,
We all need to do it.
For at least two minutes, if we are following health guidelines.
So why does it take your kid 15, 30, or even longer to get through a two minute daily activity?
You’ve probably asked yourself that before.
And if you’ve asked other parents, they probably had a mouthful of information to share.
“I’ve just given up on brushing her teeth in the morning. We just do it at night.”
“This one toothbrush my son uses lights up and plays a song! It helps.”
“Just tell your kid their teeth will rot and fall out of their head. Fear works, mama!”
Some of these tactics may have worked for you temporarily,
But you know the problem is not just brushing their teeth.
Because this started when your...
There are challenges you don’t expect when you enter parenthood.
We all assume that our natural instincts will take over and show us what to do…
And any additional research we do is a bonus.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if that’s how it really worked out?
Whether parental instincts are real is not a scientific debate I am here to discuss.
What I do want to talk about today is discomfort.
We all experience it on varying levels.
If your Highly Sensitive child is stuck in the meltdown cycle,
They’ve been experiencing discomfort BIG TIME.
But one thing that other parents don’t own up to:
What do you do when we are trying to coach our kids through uncomfortable situations… and we are ALSO uncomfortable?
If you ask other parents what to do here, you worry about their harsh attack:
“Why are YOU uncomfortable?! YOU’RE THE PARENT!!”
“YOU are supposed to be the one GUIDING them!!”
What’s worse: surprising your kid with a gift that they hate, but they pretend to love?
Or surprising them with a gift you know they LOVE, but suddenly, they hate it?
Let me tell you a story. Our family recently adopted a puppy.
My kid loves animals and we knew that she wanted a puppy.
We knew there would be hyperactivity, lots of licking, jumping around, chewing on stuff, etc.
So when we brought it home,
I started thinking about how HSCs who are stuck in the meltdown cycle might react to this much sensory overload.
Would fear overshadowed excitement?
Suck up the joy completely before anyone knew what happened?
If your child is missing the skills to regulate their emotions and you are walking on eggshells around their explosions,
The meltdowns would take the lead here.
So, what do you do if your HSC can’t handle surprises?
Tune in to find out.
For Highly Sensitive Teens:
When you’re the parent of a Highly Sensitive child,
It’s hard to know where to draw the line on some things:
Is your kid disrespectful?
Or does their attitude come from their “strong willed” personality?
I can actually solve this one for you, very quickly.
Your HSC doesn’t have a respect problem.
And now that we’ve established that,
Why is your HSC so headstrong? And how do you manage it?
First off, accepting that your kid is “strong-willed” or “spirited” doesn’t solve anything.
One author’s book with bullet points on how to manage your kid’s stubbornness doesn’t address the root of this problem,
Which, if left unaddressed, can lead to chronic suicidal or self-harmful behavior.
The root of this problem is grown from the meltdown cycle.
Not from the desire to be difficult.
So, what is the solution here? Tune in to find out.