Worried About Getting Your Kid Back Into a Routine for School?

There’s no doubt about it, HSCs thrive on having a regular routine.

And that’s all well and good … But sometimes, try as you might, routine isn’t something you can control.

Like after summer vacation.

You know this as well as anyone, but small changes can bring about BIG reactions in sensitive kids.

They can get stuck in overwhelm, descend into a shutdown cycle, or go into full-on meltdowns, just from the tiniest change in schedule.

Meaning for many parents, getting back into a routine post-Summer is a nightmare.

And what might seem like a small change to you (or even to most kids) feels like their world is ending to an HSC.

It doesn’t matter if you revert to the exact same routine they had a couple of months back, they find adjustment super difficult.

And that can lead to a 3-hour marathon argument every morning.

Or begging and pleading to get them to get up and get dressed.

Or maybe they even start acting up at school, because they just can’t...

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Back to School Freak Outs

 

Stomach aches.

Tears.

Tantrums.

And complete meltdowns.

All these (and more!) can be a daily struggle when trying to get your HSC to go to school.

And that’s on a normal morning, when they’re in a routine.

But following a long vacation?

Well, that’s even more stressful.

In fact, many parents tell me they dread this time of year, because they know every single day will incur a freakout …

If not multiple freak outs.

They’re waiting with baited breath for the school year to start again …

Trying to eke out every last second of the summer, before the ‘chaos’ sets in, the struggle returns, and every morning drains the life from them.

And what’s even worse is, you’ve probably only just got into your vacation routine, and now everything’s about to change back again!

Let’s face it, parenting an HSC has a lot to do with establishing routines and healthy habits, and breaks in the school calendar do not help with this.

...

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The #1 Reason Verbal Aggression is Still Happening in Your Home

“Shut up”, name calling, threats, how do you draw the line? 

You want to be treated with respect in your house, and who can blame you?

You need a place to relax, rest, recharge, and where else can that reliably be but in the comfort of your own home and yet if you’re stuck in the meltdown cycle that feels impossible.

Because if your child is hitting, kicking or yelling “shut up stupid!” to your other children what you’re actually doing is holding your breath daily, counting the hours until bedtime and waking up with dread.  

And if this is happening in public- whether your child is threatening classmates, or cursing up a storm in Target, you’re not only feeling ashamed, but also mortified, and likely sad and even defensive because you know this is not your true kid. 

It’s heartbreaking to see your kid, the same one who can be compassionate towards animals, notice small delights in nature, and is surprisingly clever,...

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Does ‘Getting Emotions Out’ Help The Meltdown Cycle?

 

I just got off a call with a parent who said she worked with a therapist that said her son just needed to ‘get his emotions out’. 

This child was stating he wished his brother would die, that at 9 years old asking his parents after his meltdowns subsided ‘why do you hate me’ and mom and dad were so exhausted that they were, (regrettably so, obviously)...

yelling when he would not follow through on the daily tasks with multiple warnings… 

even when his siblings would do the same thing easily. 

So, after trying many sticker charts, talks and lectures, these parents did what every dedicated parent would do– they sought professional help. 

And this is what the therapist told them: “he’s emotionally healthy.”

Mom nearly fell out of her chair– and while she didn’t realize that she was working with a novice professional (the therapist was provisionally licensed) that honestly doesn’t matter- we...

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True or False: Children Who Feel Better Do Better…

It’s a common phrase in positive parenting, isn’t it? 

Has an awesome ring to it– If your child feels better about themselves, their lives, their relationships, they will succeed.

This promise leaves you holding the bag when you’re parenting a Highly Sensitive Child stuck in the meltdown cycle, however, so let’s cover why this parenting phrase is FALSE for your kid. 

HSCs want to feel better, of course, but they are missing the capacity to generalize their skills.

So, when you follow the premise of just creating more positivity in your home to solve the meltdown cycle, you are still parenting your child like a non-Highly Sensitive Child. 

Getting yourself out of the way (eliminating lecturing, criticism, increasing praise, etc) is highly effective for parenting emotionally regulated non-Highly Sensitive kids.

But it’s only one part of the puzzle for parenting an HSC, especially one who is having daily meltdowns, freak outs or shut...

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Is Nitpicking Your Third Wheel in Co-parenting?

 

When you are stuck in the daily meltdown cycle and your spouse or co parent is nitpicking, walking on eggshells can feel like an understatement.

Not only are you trying not to set up the bomb of your kiddo’s meltdown of the day (or hour) but then you are having to deal with withholding your eyebrow twitches when your spouse calls your kid out on something you would deem unnecessary.

Talk about Chinese water torture!

So now you’re holding it in trying to help your kid stay calm, AND holding it in trying not to tell your spouse to cut it out… and you’re lucky if all you do is engage in dagger-like side eye…

Which we know only fuels all of the fires…

Yours because you’re stifling your voice…

Your spouse’s because they feel they have a right to parent and teach your child without your permission…

And your kid’s because they feel the tension… and are already irritable!

If this is your everyday experience you...

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Ready to Take a Break From Your Summer?

Remember when you pushed through those last few weeks of school meltdowns, daydreaming of easier days without homework meltdowns and reports of under stimulation-driven “misbehavior” from your kid’s teacher…

You weren’t thinking about the hard stuff that comes with parenting an HSC stuck in the meltdown cycle during the summer…

Like how much of your summer vacation is going to be spent wrestling your kid into sunscreen and camp t-shirts with tags…

Wrestling them out of the pool…

And refereeing when they try to police the whole town for splashing during water play…

And yet, here you are.

Wondering which is harder: getting up day after day for the school routine, or helping your child adjust to the variety of summer activities only to have them end in 5 day camp cycles.

Not to mention the sensory overwhelm that is hard to track… because you know it’s mood dependent for your kid, not caused by a disorder.

So, to...

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Can Perfectionism Kill You? Suicide Myth Busting

 

Highly Sensitive Children want to do it right the first time.

And when they don’t have the skills to manage failure, this can create a host of problems in their lives.

School refusal.

Homework refusal.

Soccer practice meltdowns.

Screams of “I’m so stupid!” and “I might as well not even try!” and “I would rather die than do homework!” ringing through the house.

You name it. You already know it, after-all, don’t you?

So then you wonder, how bad is this?

What do I need to do to break my child out of this prison in their own heart?

How much time do I have before this becomes how she handles problems permanently?

So you rush to reassure: “It’s not that bad- we can do it sweetie, let’s take it one problem at a time.”

Or you investigate: “What about this homework makes this so hard?”

Or you lose your cool: “Enough! You made a commitment to soccer and you will play out the whole season! We are a...

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Feel Like You’re Neglecting Your Other Kids?

It’s heartbreaking when your other kids tell you they’re trying to have patience, 

But they secretly want to punch their sister for her overwhelming meltdowns… 

And then your mind starts to race with all the questions….

How did it come to this? 

How is aggression now an acceptable solution in my home?

Haven't I been spending ALL this time trying to teach my HSC that it isn’t?

Why do my other kids feel like the only way to get her to stop is to whack her?

How do they feel knowing that this isn’t really an answer– trapped because they would never do it? 

Angry and powerless?

Resentful?

Ignored?

All of the above? 

It’s hard enough living under the weight of the meltdown cycle,

But the guilt you carry for feeling like you are neglecting your other child’s emotional needs is exceptionally profound. 

It’s not like you can tell your kid,

“Sorry your sister keeps freaking out, I don’t...

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Do You Ever Feel Like Your Kid Deserves a “Better” Parent?

 

I have a tough, but straight forward question to ask you.

Do you ever feel like your kid deserves a “better” parent?

If you even have an inkling of a yes or a yes, but; you are not alone.

All parents – including me and my team of experts – have days where we feel like our parenting efforts have sucked the life out of us.

You can’t control the universe and what it brings in to your life,

If your child is struggling with daily meltdowns –

Hitting, kicking, screaming, running away from you,

Saying hurtful things,

Or totally shutting you out and locking up emotionally (and sometimes physically),

This is not a struggle put in your lap that you need to grin and bear.

Watch on to learn how.

Book a call with my team today:
https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/talk

For families with high school aged teens:
https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/teentalk

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