Managing Your Emotions: How Your Reactions Impact Your Child's Behavior

Uncategorized Jun 07, 2023
 

Putting an end to your HSC’s meltdowns doesn’t have to be difficult.

It doesn’t require yelling or shouting.

You don’t need to give in to their demands.

And you definitely don’t need sticker charts or reward systems.

In fact, you really just need one thing:

Modeling. 

Modeling basically means displaying the behavior you want others to adopt.

It’s used a lot in all different types of behavior therapy. 

And when done right, modeling is highly effective.

Now, when I first speak to parents about modeling, they’re (understandably) skeptical.

They’re the parent after all, right? 

So why can’t they just tell their kiddo what to do?

Well, for one thing, no one likes being told what to do!

And also, even if some children do respond best to being instructed, HSCs don’t

That's where modeling comes in.

Let’s say your kiddo is having a meltdown.

You could try to reason them out of it.

You could start stressing out...

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Breaking the Meltdown Cycle - Why Doesn’t Therapy Work for This Issue?

Today’s blog is a must-read for any parent thinking of taking their child to therapy.

See, while hiring a therapist to help with your kid’s needs might seem like a responsible move …

Therapy is one of the best ways to make meltdowns worse.

That probably sounds controversial.

But there are 4 specific reasons I never recommend traditional therapy for HSCs:

Reason #1: Therapy is NOT a change-oriented process

Therapy focuses on feeling better in the moment, not creating lasting change.

And on the rare chance you do find a therapist who’s got an eye on the long-term future …

They tend to forget that highly-sensitive children are significantly uncertain in their capabilities.

That means they often can’t apply the principles taught in-session, to everyday instances that cause them distress and discomfort.

Reason #2: Therapy drives a wedge between the child and parents

Where therapy is child-led, and usually only 1 hour a week …

…...

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End of School Year: What Supporting Your HSC Through School Transitions Looks Like

 

No time of the year is “easy” for parents of HSCs.

Whether your kid gets super stressed after Christmas …

Hates the change in seasons …

Or experiences extreme anxiety at the start of a new semester …

One time that clients at MTC frequently tell us is a minefield, is the end of the school year.

While most kids are excited for the long, school-free days ahead, for HSCs, the change in routine can be triggering.

This is why it’s so important you know what to do to support them through the transition.

Because your actions here can be the difference between a fun-filled summer, full of amazing memories that last a lifetime -- for them and for you …

And a summer of meltdowns, arguments, and wishing away the days!

To help you out, I put together a quick rundown of summer transition myths vs. facts …

AKA: Your End of Year School Survival Guide:

Myth: Their behavior is manipulative or intentionally difficult.

Fact: Their meltdowns are a...

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Invite Yourself to Dream!

NEWSFLASH: You don’t have to ‘cope’ with your child being different.

Because being different isn’t a problem.

In fact … It’s a GOOD THING.

I know that might sound weird.

After all, as parents of HSCs, you can often be judged because your kiddo doesn’t conform to social norms.

But when we work with parents here at MTC, we make sure our clients don’t just learn to ‘get by’ with an HSC …

… but actively CELEBRATE their child’s differences.

Now, you might be thinking -

“But Megghan, my child can be challenging. I love them soooo much …

But I don’t know how their challenges are an advantage?”

If that’s you, then here are 5 reasons to LOVE parenting an HSC:

Reason 1: They’re highly creative.

I guarantee your kid notices way more small details than the average child.

And while this might sometimes be frustrating if they stop for 20 minutes when you’re out walking to...

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What Your Child's Behavior Really Means (It's Not What You Expect)

 

Ever feel like you and your kid are speaking different languages?

And I don’t just mean they’re speaking French, which you studied in high school so you can kinda pick up the odd word …

More like you’re speaking Spanish and they’re speaking Swahili.

If so, that’s a common situation for a lot of HSC parents.

Most I speak with, in fact.

And this clash can make it super difficult to understand their behavior.

Because you wonder why they’re behaving in a way that’s so alien.

And all the reasoning and persuasion in the world doesn’t seem to do anything.

Well, here’s the thing -

While you might think you know the reason your kid is acting up, or having a tough time …

The real reason probably isn’t what you think.

See, where most kids’ challenges are fairly obvious …

The cause of an HSC’s distress, or anger, or frustration is usually a lot deeper, beneath the surface.

It’s easy to assume this...

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My Sensitive Kid Can’t Handle Praise, Now What?

Giving your child praise can be tricky.

That might sound like a weird thing to say.

Because kids like praise, right?

But how do you know when you’re praising them TOO much?

The truth is, there’s no such thing as ‘too much’ praise …

Provided you’re giving them praise in the right way.

Consistent and meaningful praise boosts your child's self-esteem and promotes positive behavior.

Which calms the outbursts, eliminates meltdowns, and helps them be happy and confident.

But praise needs to be authentic.

Otherwise, your child will pick up that you’re not being sincere.

And all the “well dones” in the world become meaningless.

Likewise, you can’t just layer the praise on thick, 24/7.

You need to offer them criticism, too.

Okay, I don’t mean you just throw in some criticism for the sake of it.

But just like you’d with anyone, you don’t just want to praise your kid for every last thing they do.

And you don’t...

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Avoiding Punishments=Passive Parenting?

 

It’s time for the showdown to end all showdowns …

To settle a debate that’s raging in the world of HSC parenting …

And for the gloves to come off, once and for all.

Because the question is -

What’s the BEST way to parent an HSC - With passive parenting, or with punishment?

Before I reveal which one you need to prioritize, let me give a little bit of background.

Passive parenting (or gentle parenting) involves taking a step back, and not getting overly emotionally-involved when your kid is having a meltdown, or struggling to cope.

There’s a definite benefit to this.

I mean, we know that if your child is highly charged, the last thing you want to be is highly charged, too.

But at the same time, passive parenting can lead to a lack of boundaries.

You end up being physically present … But mentally absent.

Parents who do this fail to provide the emotional support, guidance and attention their child needs.

They treat their child as fragile.

And...

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Simple Steps to Build Social Skills With Your HSC

Do you DREAD family parties?

Does the thought of being invited out for a meal send you into a whirlwind of stress?

And would you rather do just about anything than navigate a new social situation with your child?

If you’re reading this, I’m guessing your answers to the above were “Yes, yes, and a great big … YES!”

That’s because dealing with social situations when you have an HSC is tough.

Doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a big family party …

A smaller, more intimate meal or cookout …

Or even just playdates with one other kid.

Any parent of an HSC knows just how stressful these can be.

You’ve probably turned down more invites than you want to think about.

Or left places early so many times, people have stopped even bothering to ask you out anymore.

But the worst thing about all this?

The shame you can feel as your kid goes into a meltdown, or struggles to cope when others are around.

And hey, there’s...

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Misconceptions About Highly Sensitive Children (& Why They're Harmful)

 

I got pretty mad the other day.

It was after a conversation with a client …

And no, it was nothing she’d done.

This gal is a rockstar, and an amazing advocate for her kid.

But I got mad, because of something she told me she’d overheard.

This lady was waiting to pick her child up from school, and was standing just round the corner from a group of other moms.

To protect her identity, I won’t name any names.

But basically, not realizing my client was out of earshot, these other moms were talking about her kid.

And the words ‘weak, shy, and overly emotional’ came up.

Understandably, my client was very upset.

Because no mom wants to hear her kid being talked about like that.

Especially when it’s just not true.

See, the big misconception about HSCs is that they’re weak, because they need extra attention …

That they’re shy, because they often avoid social situations, and keep themselves to themselves …

And that...

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Homework Problems

Screaming and shouting …

Yelling in your face and telling you they hate you …

Slamming doors, punching walls, and throwing books all over the room …

If any of these happen the minute you try to get your kid to do homework -

Welcome to the world of parenting an HSC!

Most of us didn’t like homework when we were at school.

And maybe we tried everything we could to get out of it, or chose to leave that book report or calculus revision ‘til the very last minute …

But we all kinda sucked it up, and accepted homework as a necessary evil.

That doesn’t happen with HSC kids though.

And actually, I hear of truly terrible situations, every single day, in my Facebook group.

I’ve heard about parents being threatened.

Or school books being ripped up in protest.

Angry phone calls home from teachers, demanding to know why this week’s assignment wasn’t done.

And even if your kid doesn’t have a full-blown meltdown, sometimes simply...

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