The Juggling Act

highly sensitive child Mar 11, 2021
 

“It’s ok to be sad”... until it’s not…

The juggling act you play with your HSC when their sad feelings move swiftly to anger…
(towards you, a sibling, your spouse, a grandparent, the list goes on!) has you feeling completely worn out.

Trying to be all things to all humans in the household, AND prioritize your HSC’s safety decisions is impossible.

You have limits.

You have boundaries.

And when you act as if you have to handle everything at once, and be the container for both of your kid’s feelings, and that of your spouses, and that of any other observers, you can end up frying yourself.

So what do you do?

There are 3 main skills as a parent of a Highly Sensitive Child that you need to acquire in order to eliminate the meltdown cycle.

Join me as we discuss what these are…

If you’re ready to fast track this for your family and truly know you’re solving the problem, then I encourage you to book a call with our team to...

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When you feel like giving up...

highly sensitive child Mar 05, 2021
 

You’re at your wit’s end. You’re emotionally exhausted from tip toeing around your child...DAILY.

You’re a shell of a person...and probably feel like a failure as a parent.  Are you and your child destined for this forever?  Will it EVER get better? 

The idea of 5 or 10 more years of this feels paralyzing. Will it get worse? 

You’re not sure what feels more terrifying:  a future plagued with meltdowns (and worsening behavior)...or the fact that deep down, you feel like giving up on your child. 

Ugh. The ultimate “stuck between a rock and a hard place”.  

Fear not. You’re just missing 3 key decisions that can turn this around fast.  Watch this video to learn what these are and how these can take you from emotionally exhausted to empowered, so you can truly help your kid help themselves. 

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Myth Busting: Irritability is NOT part of the Highly Sensitive Trait!

 
I just got off the phone with two parents who explained their child’s behavior as
‘always on’…
 
…what I heard was that their child is like an electric eel.
 
Ready to shine her light beautifully, light up the room, but unfortunately, also ready to zap anyone who got in the way of her objective.
 
The hardest part of parenting a child like this, who is sensitive but smolders it with her FIERY passion, is the labels that come with being “that kid.”
 
Let’s dive in to learning how “irritability” is actually a sign of a lack of skill, and is not an innate quality of the Highly Sensitive personality trait.
 
Because once you know more about that, you’ll learn how to see that your child needs to learn more than you think they do at this age to break out of this pattern.
 
When you’re ready to bust through the meltdown cycle and help your child live their happiest life,...
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MYTH BUSTING: Perfectionism: Discussing Depth of Processing vs Analysis Paralysis

 
Join me as I bust a myth about perfectionism and the Highly Sensitive trait.
 
When parents share that their Highly Sensitive Child is a 'perfectionist' they can often attribute this to the personality trait.
 
When this happens, it's hard to discern how to help your child grow without dulling their sensitive strengths.
 
Learn about the difference between perfectionism, depth of processing, and analysis paralysis with me today.
 
When your child is stuck in "I can't" or "I don't know how" you can feel quite frustrated as a parent...
 
...wanting to push, or pull them beyond their comfort zone.
 
Unfortunately, that will usually backfire.
 
Let's discuss how to guide your child towards being comfortable with discomfort, so they can grow beyond their current skill set.
 
If you're ready to truly address this problem from the root, it's time to book a call.
 
Click the link below to speak to a member of my team to...
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Emotional Availability for Learning

 
As you gear up to support your child in the new year after this week's rest, it's crucial that you focus on these factors to support your child in learning both academically and in their relationships.
 
This year has been a challenge for many, and I discuss the factors that are make-or-break for the families who are thriving as they transition back to school in this video.
If you're ready to get out ahead of this and change your family's cycle of frustration AND break out of the meltdown cycle, book your call here:
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Myth Busting: The truth about a Coping Skills Toolbox

 

A typical pattern we hear from parents working to help their child end the meltdown cycle is to focus on their child’s coping skills. 

When you’re in the middle of surviving this cycle you can get stuck in throwing things at the wall to see what sticks…

…So, here’s what the cycle looks like: your child has a meltdown.

You try to help them through it.

While they’re melting down, you’re teaching them to use a skill, and they refuse to use it in the moment…

So, you try to talk about it later…

…and when the next meltdown comes, your child refuses again, and you do it all over again… and again… and again… for all eternity… 

…it seriously feels like it will be, because when you feel this reactive, it’s jarring to think about how your child would ever stop their meltdown behavior.

When your child isn’t consistent with their coping skills it’s quite frustrating to...

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5 reasons WHY you and your spouse ARE actually on the same page

I’m going to speak to you as a wife for a second… My husband has NO parenting expertise. 

I have had to overcome several myths to get us on the same page, the very same ones I helped my clients through early on in my career, before I just simply made a decision to not buy into the story from one parent that the other wasn’t committed. 

Once I made that decision, I stopped hearing from parents that one was less committed than the other.

Once I had a kid, however, I had to remember these decisions and apply them to my husband. Because, as you know, professional and personal lives are different.

So, I did the work. 

When you’re dealing with ending the daily meltdown cycle, it’s important to BELIEVE with every fiber of your being that your spouse wants to live a different life than what you’re living right now. 

It’s your turn:

#1 

MYTH:: Your partner is certain their way “works”.

FACT: Your partner knows...

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Survival Mode Parenting

 

For many, this year has been a whirlwind of intense emotions, loss, grief and disruption. And many opportunities of growth have posed themselves for parents.

In that avenue, this year has been one of witnessing hundreds of parents reaching out for help, accessing it,  setting their sensitive children up for success while simultaneously learning how to set boundaries for themselves.  A feat for parents of sensitive children to begin with, and in a pandemic, an even bigger achievement.

Now more than ever, your children are looking to you to see how they can respond to fear.

Your priority as a parent is to stay strong, guide yourselves, and focus on love as we lead our children to manage emotions from a place of compassion.

This disruption to the family dynamic while the country creates safety in a pandemic isn’t going away for many months. If your child isn’t emotionally available for learning in a new setting, they can fall further behind in their schooling as...

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Sticker Charts are Screwing You

I wanted to talk today about a common misconception that a lot of my HSC parent clients face when they think about teaching their child responsibility and follow-through (and to just freakin' get ready on time).

Look, as someone who grew up getting paid for her A’s on report cards, it’s hard for me to write this because cash in the bank felt good in my childhood/teen years, (despite having my first job at age 12). But what we as parents don’t often realize, is that these rewards (be it stickers, money, prize boxes or praise) actually lead to long term struggle.

The logic makes sense on the surface. Work hard, get a reward, work hard again, get another reward, etc. Parents suppose that it will help build a connection that hard work reaps benefits, makes you feel good inside, and builds self-esteem and a sense of feeling capable. What this pattern actually leads to, however, is the exact opposite.

Highly sensitive kids are especially vulnerable to...

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The 3 Biggest Costs in Raising a Highly Sensitive Child

 

As parents, we know the importance of watching our budgets to make sure our family's financial needs are met.  But I also know parents of highly sensitive children are considering more than just money when it comes to raising their child.

You're watching the minutes tick by while your child continues to meltdown, knowing you will be late for work again.  You're seeing the pile of clothes laying in their closest because they “just don't feel right” to your kiddo.  You know how much energy you lose every time another meltdown starts.

But do you ever consider what this is costing your highly sensitive child?

Today, I'm discussing three different costs that you probably haven't considered when it comes to raising a highly sensitive child.

  1. Life Experiences 

When your highly sensitive child is melting down once or twice a day, you already know the hours that are being lost. But what about the EXPERIENCES that are being lost?  I'm not talking about...

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