MYTH BUSTING: Perfectionism: Discussing Depth of Processing vs Analysis Paralysis

 
Join me as I bust a myth about perfectionism and the Highly Sensitive trait.
 
When parents share that their Highly Sensitive Child is a 'perfectionist' they can often attribute this to the personality trait.
 
When this happens, it's hard to discern how to help your child grow without dulling their sensitive strengths.
 
Learn about the difference between perfectionism, depth of processing, and analysis paralysis with me today.
 
When your child is stuck in "I can't" or "I don't know how" you can feel quite frustrated as a parent...
 
...wanting to push, or pull them beyond their comfort zone.
 
Unfortunately, that will usually backfire.
 
Let's discuss how to guide your child towards being comfortable with discomfort, so they can grow beyond their current skill set.
 
If you're ready to truly address this problem from the root, it's time to book a call.
 
Click the link below to speak to a member of my team to...
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6 Coping Potholes in Parenting an HSC

 

When it comes to breaking the meltdown cycle, many parents will want to address where they get stuck with their child's behavior, and none of that will matter without getting unstuck in your own behavior.

You know you play a pivotal role in managing your own emotions, but on the live video I made this week I discussed how you play a pivotal role in perpetuating the meltdown cycle, through your own understanding of the cycle itself.

I discuss the 6 Coping Potholes in Parenting an HSC and the one thing you need to change to fix them all in this video.

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[Video] She was one FRIED mama!

 

How one FRIED mama went from wearing her baby NONSTOP to keep him safe from her preschooler’s hits, to regularly relaxing on the couch with her hubby while the kids play safely.

Join me in learning from Toni’s journey from fear, hyper-vigilance, and trying all of the strategies, to calmly supporting her son in ceasing the meltdown cycle…all with more energy and while taking on a new job! 

Watch the video now!

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How Fear and Love affects your Parenting

 

Avoid the vortex of negativity as the media and your newsfeed is freaking out with the coronavirus crisis. Focus on what you can control. 

Now more than ever, as your children are looking to you to see how they can respond to fear.

This video is a great one to come back to as we stay strong, guide ourselves, and focus on love as we lead our children to manage emotions from a place of love.

It starts with you as a parent.

Wise action comes from love, not fear. Not overthinking, not rumination, not spinning through your options in your brain a million times over until "this passes."

Because the truth is that if you don't step out of your own head, and into your heart, your worries actually become ALL you can think about.

And that certainly doesn't solve your problem, and help your HSC creatively learn how to solve theirs.

So if you see your HSC imploding (hiding, running away, struggling to communicate until you PULL it out of them harder than it took them to pop their baby teeth...

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[Video] Meltdowns causing a disconnect with your spouse?

 

Watch this video if you're interested in learning what to focus on first when you're stuck with your spouse on figuring out what to do to get on the same page.

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The True Power of a Guilt-Trip

When your child is struggling to control their temper, and throws, kicks or yells, it’s hard to know how to stop the cycle. It doesn’t seem like it should be, but when your efforts to teach your child to stop hitting because it hurts others fall on deaf ears, or creates another outburst, it’s easy to get frustrated and feel lost.

Especially when your child’s second meltdown is because your kiddo is defending their choice to hit… or full of shame, embarrassment and regret about needing to behave differently.  

You wrack your brain on how to teach your child without recreating the meltdown. You know your sensitive kiddo needs to learn to control his body, but you don’t want to teach him at the expense of his self-esteem. 

...But conventional wisdom teaches you to use guilt…

 It may not be your first tool in your toolbox, but if you’re set up in this cycle of trying to teach, creating consequences for the aggressive...

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Is parenting a hobby for you?

I’m going to speak controversially, so buckle up. I spoke to a parent the other day who loved her child with all her heart, but was so stuck in the hustle of her day-to-day routine that she appeared to be parenting as if it was a hobby.

You know what I mean: looking at pretty Pinterest lists about great ways to teach your child how to have high self-esteem, beautiful pictures of behavior charts that claim to teach responsibility and family values, and lists of “calming oils” that are going to instantly help her child feel less overwhelmed.

But the fact was, she wasn’t putting half of this free advice into practice in her home. Her child was still struggling. Her marriage was still strained, and she felt like a crap parent.

To put it bluntly, she’s treating her role of parent like a hobby.

Now, please know, I’m not here to place blame or shame, it’s important to note that this is common for parents of Highly Sensitive Kids who just...

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"Try this... it works with my kid"

I saw in a coaching group a recommendation that all coaches train in “some type of therapy to widen their skill set.” Research who you trust to give you advice on your child’s stress responses and what works to change them. 

You can’t train in “some type of therapy.” 2+ years of graduate coursework is required, in addition to 2-3 years of post grad supervised experience, plus an additional 1-2 board exams only to be able to call yourself a licensed therapist. 

...and that doesn’t even mean you’re good at what you do… I noticed a thread in a therapist group the other day where therapists who had been working in the field for 20+ years had never heard of the HS trait.

Thousands of hours in specialty training working with nationally known specialists in healing trauma, child mental health, child and adolescent life threatening behaviors, and the knowledge and system to supervise other professionals to replicate this...

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Why Time-Outs are the WORST

 

Be sure to watch this video on why I’m certain using time-outs are defeating your goals for parenting your child. 

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