How Should You Expect Your HSC to Handle Uncomfortable Situations?
There are challenges you don’t expect when you enter parenthood.
We all assume that our natural instincts will take over and show us what to do…
And any additional research we do is a bonus.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if that’s how it really worked out?
Whether parental instincts are real is not a scientific debate I am here to discuss.
What I do want to talk about today is discomfort.
We all experience it on varying levels.
If your Highly Sensitive child is stuck in the meltdown cycle,
They’ve been experiencing discomfort BIG TIME.
But one thing that other parents don’t own up to:
What do you do when we are trying to coach our kids through uncomfortable situations… and we are ALSO uncomfortable?
If you ask other parents what to do here, you worry about their harsh attack:
“Why are YOU uncomfortable?! YOU’RE THE PARENT!!”
“Take responsibility!”
“YOU are supposed to be the one GUIDING them!!”
Because all of those hurtful words are so helpful, right? (That’s sarcasm).
You and I both know that it’s not that easy.
If you are a person that struggles with feelings of unease,
It’s not easy to ask your child to be OK with it.
For example, if you are going to a nursing home to have lunch with grandma,
You may find that being in a place like that is uncomfortable.
They are often crowded, sometimes there is commotion (i.e. if someone needs emergency medical intervention), you may be sitting with strangers, etc.
But you know deep down, the time spent with grandma is important.
Your HSC asks to go with you because they miss grandma,
But they won’t sit still in their chairs.
Or they cry because there’s no TV in the dining hall.
Or a stranger talked to them, and now they’ve shut down.
On one hand, you want to say,
“Hey kid, this is weird for me too! Can you please keep it together for my sake?”
But on the other hand… how can we ask our kid to be comfortable in a setting that we, ourselves, feel uncomfortable in?
Is that wrong..?
The short answer, no.
Because you aren’t asking them to stop feeling uncomfortable.
You’re asking them to stop melting down.
The long answer:
At the end of the day, we are all human.
We will all experience discomfort in our lives from time to time.
And truthfully, you’re not asking your child to feel comfortable.
You’re asking them to control their emotions.
Whether it’s lunch with grandma, seeing a new doctor, or meeting a new group of kids at a birthday party,
It is not developmentally appropriate for your child to experience daily meltdowns.
I’m going to show you how you can teach your child the skills they need to stop melting down the moment discomfort hits.
Step 1: Change the way you think about your child, their needs, and you.
Notice that you are asking your child to manage their emotions.
When you are uncomfortable, how do you manage yours?
Step 2: Playfully communicate your expectations, needs, and responsibilities to the whole family.
Does your kid know exactly what you expect out of lunch with grandma?
Are your expectations in alignment with what’s possible for your kid?
Do they know how to tell you what they can and can’t handle?
And do you know what is TRULY possible for your family?
Step 3: Give your kid specific feedback and make this a part of your parenting strategy.
Are you walking on eggshells around your child’s meltdowns?
Do you spend time holding your breath hoping they can keep it together?
If the answer is yes, this is not a strategy.
Step 4: Advocate for your HSC and teach them how to advocate for themselves.
Does your kid know how to ask for what they need?
Do they trust that you are on their team, or do they think you’re against them?
And how can you be sure your kid knows what to ask for?
These are just some examples of questions to think through before you reach step 5:
Register for our free masterclass.
Our masterclass has helped hundreds of parents take the first steps to breaking out of the meltdown cycle.
You deserve to live through life without parenting shame,
Because you know exactly what the best thing is for your kid.
If the meltdown cycle is clouding the vision you had for your family, it can be changed.
And you can see what really is possible for your life and your family's lives.
Parents of highly sensitive children, start here:
megghanthompsoncoaching.com/5steps
Parents of highly sensitive teens, start here:
