I just got off the phone with a parent who was angry after I asked him to express how his child’s emotions are affecting him.
It was heartbreaking.
Not because he was angry with the conversation, but because he did not understand how getting clear on his emotions were the key to unlocking the pain of his child’s meltdowns.
The myth that you can help your child just by focusing on the goal (better communication, no meltdowns, change motivation to complete homework, etc.) is one society teaches you a lot.
When we acknowledge our own understanding of our child’s meltdowns, and get clear on what we believe to be the true cause, we can shift our perspective.
You are riddled with advice on what to do to fix your problems parenting your HSC. It’s all over the internet. Pinterest posters about emotions; lesson plans on social skills; emotional growth mindset workbooks, free printable from mommy bloggers who want to help you connect with your child.
The problem with all this noise is that they never teach the HOW to do it. This is where parents get so stuck.
When your intention is focused on changing your child, and fearful that your child will never build the skill of understanding their own emotions well enough to communicate safely to you, or others, you miss a crucial part of the puzzle.
Parents who struggle to see that they are the catalyst to their child’s change in emotional insight and actions will struggle to effect true change for their child.
Without that insight, and the decisiveness to change yourself as a parent first, you will never solve this problem.
But, if you choose to be an emotionally healthy leader for your sensitive child, you teach your child that sharing emotions is not a vulnerability.
It’s nothing to be afraid of, and rather is a strength. This is a lesson taught by taking resourceful action, not through words or chats about what your kid can do better next time.
If you are a parent who is driven to change yourself in order to lead your child into radically changing their behavior, you have to commit to taking action, and do whatever it takes when that opportunity arises.
Your opportunity starts here: book a call to discuss where you’re struggling in parenting your HSC and come prepared to get introspective. Identify yourself as someone who does not know it all— attend the call only if you are coachable.
And if you are someone who is not interested in letting your current life circumstances dictate whether you’re worthy of true happiness, and won’t let anything get in the way of obtaining that for your whole family, I look forward to speaking with you very soon.
Joy comes first from within so you can teach it to your child.