95. Is Nitpicking Your Third Wheel in Co-parenting?
When you are stuck in the daily meltdown cycle and your spouse or co parent is nitpicking, walking on eggshells can feel like an understatement.
Not only are you trying not to set up the bomb of your kiddo’s meltdown of the day (or hour) but then you are having to deal with withholding your eyebrow twitches when your spouse calls your kid out on something you would deem unnecessary.
Talk about Chinese water torture!
So now you’re holding it in trying to help your kid stay calm, AND holding it in trying not to tell your spouse to cut it out… and you’re lucky if all you do is engage in dagger-like side eye…
Which we know only fuels all of the fires…
Yours because you’re stifling your voice…
Your spouse’s because they feel they have a right to parent and teach your child without your permission…
And your kid’s because they feel the tension… and are already irritable!
If this is your everyday experience you might have tried a few things to break out of this pattern:
You try giving your spouse direct feedback in the moment…
But you know that doesn’t work because then you’re undermining your partner’s parenting authority.
Maybe then you try just ignoring it…
But that means you have to deal with the fallout of being your child’s emotional janitor when dad’s comments are the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Or, you try to run through what could have gone better at the end of the day… which probably ends one of two ways:
Your spouse feels defeated and it turns into a criticism feedback loop.
You don’t actually get to connect at the end of the day because you’re both exhausted trying not to repeat history, but uncertain how to get off the hamster wheel.
Feeling drained yet?
Let’s talk about it! Listen to today's episode to learn more.
If your child is demonstrating the meltdown cycle, watch our free training here: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/5steps
If your teen is struggling to engage with your family, shutting down and struggling with a perfectionism spiral, watch our free training here: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/5steps_teen
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