“Why does my child do so well at school …
… but completely lose it at home?”
That’s a question we get a lot from parents.
See, while it might be natural to assume your kiddo would act up MORE at school, because of the extra stimulus, the extra stress, and having to conform to ‘rules’ …
The opposite is often true.
And it can leave parents scratching their heads, wondering what they’re doing wrong.
Here’s the thing -
You’re not doing anything wrong.
Think about it:
There are things that happen at work that stress YOU out.
But what do you do?
You realize you can’t shout, scream and yell at people, because, well … you’re at work!
But when you get home, you probably let all your emotions out.
Or, if something triggered you at home, you’d probably be a lot less cool, calm and collected than you are in the workplace.
Because home is your safe space.
And you might think it’s the same for HSCs.
Home is their safe space… to a point
So if they go through the day feeling UNsafe, and bottling up all these emotions, where d’you think they’re going to unload?
That’s right - At home, when they’re with you.
Now, unfortunately, a lot of parenting ‘experts’ (and I use that term very loosely) say that you should just ignore this behavior, that having this answer explains it away.
And it’ll go away in time.
That simply isn’t true.
Ignoring these outbursts isn’t an option.
But you don’t want to be too strict with your kid either.
Otherwise, they’ll see you as the enemy, or think they can’t turn to you when they need to.
I mean, what happens if they’re getting bullied, but they don’t feel like they can talk to you?
That’s the last thing you’d want, right?
We want them to feel seen, supported, and above all … CAPABLE.
They need to know they have the tools within them to deal with school stress AT SCHOOL.
And at home…
Because your child NEVER feels safe during a meltdown.
It is SUPER scary to lose your mind and be out of control in your body…
…especially for a sensitive soul like your child who has higher levels of empathy…
…when they aren’t overwhelmed by the empathy for others in the first place.
Don’t equate your child’s explosive or implosive, hurtful behavior with a lack of empathy.
Just like you shouldn’t equate your child’s actions to behave like a ‘perfect angel’ at school as skillful or safe behavior.
Don’t believe the myth peddlers that try to placate you into feeling better…. Saying “solidarity mama, it gets better”.
Nope. It doesn’t if you don’t teach your child to dissipate their emotions throughout the day.
You need to show them they don’t need to keep it all in, and then erupt like a volcano the minute they walk through the front door.
And when you can do that?
Well, we’ve seen HSCs go from having 3 or 4 meltdowns like this every day …
To 3 or 4 meltdowns a week …
To 3 or 4 meltdowns a month …
To 3 or 4 meltdowns a year.
I can’t promise you can eliminate meltdowns completely.
But what I can promise you is, the minute you shift your perspective, and develop the tools and skills yourself to show your kiddo they’re capable of dealing with situations and stresses in the moment, that’s when the ‘magic’ happens.
So if that’s something you want …
And if you’re committed to seeing your child thrive, despite whatever challenges they have right now -
Book your call with us.
It doesn’t matter if your kiddo is getting amazing reports from school, or they’re just about scraping by.
If there’s a big disconnect between how they act when they’re in the classroom, and how they act when they’re around you, your partner and the rest of your family, the time to do something about it is NOW.
A solution is within reach.
Don’t let it pass you by.
Use this link, and we’ll chat to you real soon:
For families with high school aged teens: https://www.megghanthompsoncoaching.com/teentalk