Rewriting Our Family's Story: Savannah & Alan

hsc parenting Nov 23, 2022
 

This week we are sharing an interview that has been impactful for many of our audience.

If it feels like your HSC is down in the dumps more than the average kid,

You’ll want to hear this.

You are not alone.

Our client Savannah knows exactly how that feels, and that feeling was HARD to work through.

Savannah’s story is common for parents who are stuck in the meltdown cycle.

She wanted to be a mom for such a long time,

And the fact that her child seemed melancholy SO often was disheartening.

She describes her HSC as feeling upset and on edge constantly,
Crying often,
And even stated that there was a lack of connection.

She felt like no matter how much she and Alan tried,
They could not meet their HSC’s needs.

She also felt like she could not help her child in the midst of a meltdown.

And that was really discouraging.

In Savannah’s words, “I felt helpless. I was failing myself and my daughter.”

On top of this, she was dealing with her own guilt of being embarrassed by the meltdowns.

She didn’t understand why her kid couldn’t just stuff those feelings away like Savannah did as a kid.

She expected her child to do the same so she could be “normal,”

And that was when she knew she was not the mom she dreamed of being for SO long…

But before we talk about how Savannah found us,

I want to tell you everything else she tried.

And why she and her husband decided to finally reach out and get help from us.

First, they started with play therapy.

At this point, they thought their HSC had a problem that needed fixing.

Their kid would go to therapy and come home,

And then Savannah and Alan would parent how they normally would,

And they saw no change.

Then, COVID hit and they were left with dealing with HUGE emotions during a pandemic,

Because teletherapy simply was not an effective option.

As things progressed, Savannah tried to find a diagnosis.

She feared the worst:

Her seven year old growing into a teen,

Going through puberty, still emotionally unbalanced,

Leading to risky behaviors, promiscuity, and suicidal tendencies.

They were determined to “fix” the problem that were causing the meltdowns,

And that is when Savannah learned about the Highly Sensitive trait.

She had no idea that learning a new set of parenting skills was an option here.

After doing research and finding MTC on Facebook, she reached out to chat, and took action.

But Savannah and Alan had a healthy amount of skepticism in the beginning.

First of all, after they enrolled, they were surprised by how different the parenting strategies were from their own gentle parenting.

They were NOT 100% sure that it would be the right thing for their family.

Second, Savannah was afraid that by choosing to parent differently,

It would hurt HER family. She didn’t want to ruffle any feathers.

She loved her parents to death,

But she knew they didn’t have the best tactics for managing their grandkid’s big emotions.

Savannah knew that from her own experience as a kid, trying to stuff those emotions down.

Plus, she was worried that since she already didn’t feel good enough,

Changing her skills would prove that she wasn’t good enough.

But it got to a point where they knew what they were doing was just not ever going to work,

And that doing SOMETHING was better than where they were stuck.

So, how did ending the meltdown cycle shift Savannah and Alan’s family?

The biggest result: the entire family communicates differently.

They “can’t deny the changes,” in their marriage

Their HSC went from daily implosions to one short 5 minute burst per day, IF that,

Working through emotions,

No shame in expressing how they feel,

No more crying the whole way home from school.

And Savannah and Alan don’t walk on eggshells anymore.

Their parenting skills are based on what they know.

Not principles they feel compelled to uphold based on how they were raised.

And the best part: this HSC’s grandparents are interacting with their grandkids AND Savannah and Alan differently.

In working with us, this family points out some key things they learned that work:

Adjusting their own mindset to allow them to focus on their daughter fully.

Removing judgment by building foundational blocks of knowing HOW to teach their kid about their emotions.

Thinking differently about how their child experiences emotions.

Finding the line between letting their kid feel their feelings and not try to “fix” them because she is not broken.

One of the best parts: this family now has a community of people to turn to (our other alumni families).

Savannah points out that one of the golden nuggets she takes with her from working with MTC is that she doesn’t need to rush in and fix everything right away.

Because there is no quick fix.

Each step she learned builds on one another.

And that our parenting strategies provide the results your family needs: and the end result is magical: the daily meltdowns and stuffing behaviors are GONE.

Savannah and Alan’s story could’ve been told very differently.

Now, they tell it knowing the meltdowns are in the past.

How will you write your story?

Book a call with our team, we’ll help you figure that out.

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