Suicide isn’t a comfortable topic to talk about.
Especially when talking about suicide in kids and teens.
But it’s something I feel I need to cover.
Because shockingly, a recent CDC report showed that suicide rates have increased 195% since 1990.
And that’s not all.
In youths aged 5-19, self-harm has also risen by a staggering 411%.
And in children aged 5-12, suicide is now the 5th leading cause of death.
I know hearing this might make you uncomfortable.
And it should.
It certainly does me.
But we can’t just brush this issue under the carpet.
After all, resistance to speaking about suicide and self-harm in children and teens is likely one of the reasons these rates have continued to climb.
And sure, there are other factors involved as well …
But a reluctance to talk won’t have helped.
Self-harm and suicide risks are very real.
In fact, barely a week goes by when my team and I don’t speak to a parent who’s already found evidence...
Whenever I speak to parents in January, they tell me one thing -
“I feel like I need another break already.
That vacation was hardly worth it.”
Which is sad.
Because we all want to enjoy our downtime, appreciate our family over the holidays, and go into the New Year feeling upbeat and optimistic.
But as a parent of an HSC, that’s often the last thing you feel.
Because despite best intentions, the holiday season was stressful.
Maybe your kid acted out more than usual …
You had to leave family parties early as they got so stressed …
Or the change in routine completely threw them off, and it was “meltdown o’clock” every single day!
Whatever it was, as cliche as it is to say …
New Year is a GREAT time to set new goals and make a commitment to calming the chaos and eliminating the meltdowns.
Trouble is, you feel like you’re facing this huge uphill battle.
All those routines you worked so hard to put in place in the fall after...
Are you tired of feeling frustrated and helpless when it comes to your child's aggressive behavior?
Do you feel like you've tried everything from traditional parenting techniques to yelling and rewards, but nothing seems to work?
Here at MTC we understand how difficult and stressful it can be to deal with a child who is exhibiting aggressive behavior.
It can take a toll on your relationship with your child and with your partner, causing arguments and tension.
But there is hope.
Just look at what happened with Jamie and John and their 7-year-old HSC.
They had tried everything they could think of (sticker charts, rewards, yelling, counting to 3…), but nothing seemed to work.
They were struggling to manage his aggressive behavior and meltdowns, and they found themselves constantly arguing with each other about how to handle the situation.
It was especially difficult for them because their HSC’s twin sister was managing her emotions much...
Here at MTC we understand that parenting can be one of the most rewarding, yet challenging experiences in life.
When your child is struggling with mental health issues, it can be especially difficult and overwhelming.
If you're reading this, you may be in a situation similar to what Rachel and Ash experienced with their HSC.
Their kiddo was suicidal, wishing to die, yelling, freezing up, and refusing to go to school.
Rachel & Ash went to countless therapists and tried many approaches, but nothing seemed to work.
They were at their wits end and didn't know what to do.
They were worried about their child’s safety and well-being, and they were also struggling to manage the rest of their family and their own stress and emotions.
But there is hope, Rachel and Ash found our program.
After working with us and implementing our strategies of playful parenting, systematic shame-free feedback, and prioritizing calm in the routine, they were able to...
Any parent of an HSC knows, the holiday season can be a NIGHTMARE.
Whether it’s overstimulation at family parties …
Disappointment surrounding gifts …
Or just the change from day-to-day routine …
There’s so much happening that can trigger a meltdown.
So it’s totally understandable why a lot of the parents I speak to dread this time of year.
While other parents are putting up the tree, buying gifts and enjoying their kids’ excitement …
HSC parents are preparing for a month of ups, downs and never-ending stress.
So what can we do about this?
I mean, you want to enjoy the holidays, right? Not just survive them.
Well, the important thing to remember is, your HSC has a big heart.
So whatever stress you’re feeling about catching up with family you’ve not seen for a year, or being in different environments …
You can triple that, and you’re probably only halfway to what your HSC is feeling.
But here’s what I...
I just got off a heartbreaking call.
I was speaking with a family who were ready to ship their 10-year old daughter off to her Aunt’s house … Permanently!
This Mom and Dad were at their wits end.
Because they couldn’t imagine 8 more years of parenting stress.
Especially when their daughter was such an angel outside the house.
But at home?
They were being torn apart.
Sadly, I’ve heard things like this many times before.
And if I’m honest, I don’t think these parents would have abandoned their daughter like that.
But unfortunately, when you get to this level, it also tells me something else -
They’d emotionally checked out of parenting.
They’d all but given up on having a relationship with their child.
And when you’re in this spot?
It’s like death by 1,000 tiny cuts.
Because every day breeds more resentment … More frustration … And more guilt.
And knowing you’ve given up on your child eats you alive.
This week we are sharing an interview that has been impactful for many of our audience.
If it feels like your HSC is down in the dumps more than the average kid,
You’ll want to hear this.
You are not alone.
Our client Savannah knows exactly how that feels, and that feeling was HARD to work through.
Savannah’s story is common for parents who are stuck in the meltdown cycle.
She wanted to be a mom for such a long time,
And the fact that her child seemed melancholy SO often was disheartening.
She describes her HSC as feeling upset and on edge constantly,
And even stated that there was a lack of connection.
She felt like no matter how much she and Alan tried,
They could not meet their HSC’s needs.
She also felt like she could not help her child in the midst of a meltdown.
And that was really discouraging.
In Savannah’s words, “I felt helpless. I was failing myself and my daughter.”
On top of this, she was dealing with her own guilt of...
As a society, we love to put labels on things.
Whether it’s labeling people as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ …
Labeling foods as ‘healthy’ or ‘unhealthy’ …
Or putting labels on kids who don’t conform exactly to what’s expected of them.
This comes up a lot in my private practice.
Parents either come in because their kiddo has been displaying HSC-like behavior, and they think they need a diagnosis …
Or they’ve already been to another specialist, who’s diagnosed their kid with a medical condition.
(The one I hear most is ODD -- Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- which basically says your child is difficult, hostile and ‘broken.’
You can imagine just how riled up labeling a kid like that makes me!
But we’ll leave that story for another day.)
Anyway, I can understand why getting a diagnosis might give parents some comfort.
After all, if you went to the doctor with unexplained stomach...
Most parents have times when they just don’t ‘get’ their child.
And most kids think their parents are weird, too.
That’s just life!
But when you’re parenting an HSC, that disconnect can feel 100 times greater.
In fact, this is something I hear from the parents I work with a lot.
Deep down, they know a certain level of disconnect is normal.
Because when they were teens, their parents didn’t ‘get’ them.
But despite this, they start second guessing themselves -
“Surely I should have something in common with my child?”
“Is it really normal that we’re this disconnected?”
“What if the gap grows even more, and they end up resenting me, hating me, or simply drifting away?”
It’s tough, because this kind of thinking has severe consequences.
And it only gets worse as your HSC goes from a kid to a teen.
You start to criticize yourself, and wonder what you’re doing wrong.
Or maybe in order to...
Have you ever been mid-meltdown with your kiddo, only to hear someone remark -
“Kids these days!”
Or maybe you’ve been with family, and they mention something about being ‘spoiled.’
If so, I feel your pain.
Here you are, doing your best to keep the situation under control, only to have someone judge your parenting.
Even if the person saying it is well meaning, it still sucks.
Because they have no idea what you’re going through.
And as you know, comments like this are not helpful.
But do they have a point?
Is modern US culture to blame for your child’s struggles?
Or have you been spoiling them, and that’s why you’re dealing with emotional outbursts, high levels of anxiety, and a kid who struggles with things other children take in their stride?
Short answer …
No, you’re not spoiling them.
Friends and family (particularly older generations) often see an HSC and assume they’re like this because they’ve not...