Tired of the tug-of-war?
Constant disagreements with your co-parent over your sensitive child?
Fed up with meltdowns controlling your life because you can't agree?
Frustrated with each day that passes as traditional tactics, gentle methods, therapy, you name it - nothing seems to work.
I get it.
Frustration and doubt plague you both.
Divided parenting is draining.
The truth is, you’ve been set up for failure.
Both of you have.
You see other families thriving with tools like rewards charts and time-outs but those very strategies only backfire with yours, leaving everyone in tears.
And while gentle discipline sounded great in theory too, peacefully redirecting them through feelings just isn't realistic in the nuclear meltdown moments nothing can defuse!
It's so confusing watching methods touted as perfect for every kid absolutely flop miserably with yours.
No wonder arguing over "who's right" rages on endlessly -
When both your tried and true...
Lying awake at night, worrying about your sensitive child?
Wondering if you're doing enough to keep them safe and secure?
Questioning every parenting decision you make?
You're certainly not alone in feeling this way.
We speak to a lot of parents who shamefully admit to wondering,
Is there something wrong with my parenting? With my child?
The thoughts just swirl in your head and increase the stress even more.
But as caring as those concerns are, it’s not helping you.
It’s actually hurting you.
See, constant worry takes it’s toll - both on you and on your ability to parent with compassion.
This kind of stress leaves you feeling anxious, insecure and drained.
But there is hope to be found in reframing your approach.
What if instead of worrying, you could empower yourself with techniques…
Techniques that strengthen your child through nurturing their potential, not just minimizing risk…
Do you ever feel like your kid has flaws?
If so … I hear you.
No parent wants to think there’s anything ‘wrong’ with their kid, right?
Or that they somehow need “fixing.”
But unfortunately, society conditions us to think this way.
Then, when you add in comments (sometimes well-meaning, sometimes not) from friends and family members, it’s easy to see your kids’ big emotions as some kind of problem.
But what if they weren’t a problem at all?
What if these were actually reasons to celebrate?
This is a reframe we do with our clients.
And they LOVE it.
Because it takes them from stressed, frustrated and feeling guilty …
To free, empowered, and seeing their HSC in a whole new light.
Your kid has a big heart.
A big heart equals big emotion.
And that’s something to be grateful for.
How many kids do you know who barely show any emotion?
Speaking to them is like getting blood from a stone.
Yet with an HSC, while dealing with...
STOP trying to solve your kid’s problems.
That might be a weird way to start a blog …
But way too many parents go into “fix it mode” the moment their kid enters a meltdown.
If you do this, it’s keeping them stuck in a destructive cycle.
I know you’re only trying to help.
Trouble is, “fix it mode” usually means bypassing your kid’s feelings, and looking for a solution.
To you and I, a solution is the best thing, right?
But to your child, mid-meltdown, a solution is the last thing they want.
What do they want?
To feel validated.
And to know you hear them and see them.
That’s not to say you can’t problem solve.
You just need to solve the problem together.
And you need to wait til the right time.
So when your kid goes into a meltdown, what should you do?
First up, acknowledge their emotions.
You can even say -
“I see this is frustrating for you.”
That’ll make them feel seen and heard, and...
You can transform your child’s behavior in WEEKS.
That might sound unbelievable …
… but it’s true.
There’s no reason why you can’t calm the daily chaos, quickly de-escalate drama, and have a confident, happy, outgoing kiddo by the end of this month.
But to do that, you need to understand 3 little words:
Pick. Your. Battles.
Here’s what I mean …
When your child’s escalated, and every pore in your body wants to get frustrated too, the most powerful thing you can do is stay calm.
Even if they’re in what I call “hurricane mode.”
They’re shouting, screaming, maybe even throwing things.
By remaining cool and collected, you can have a huge impact on their behavior.
But here’s the kicker -
You can’t leave the room or just walk off and hope they figure it out.
Because leaving is just as bad as getting worked up.
You need to stay there, in the eye of that storm.
Because this is make or break time.
Humans LOVE labels.
They can give us a sense of belonging.
Or justify our behaviors.
We can even take a label that was once negative, redefine and reclaim it, and flip it into a positive.
Just like with an HSC.
That ‘label’ helps people not see our child as a problem, or a nuisance, or just straight up badly behaved …
And instead, gives them a label that shows them as more unique.
In a way, diagnoses are labels too.
And these can be super useful.
Because a diagnosis can help you get access to much-needed support, both financially and emotionally.
But there’s also a dark side to diagnoses.
See, when a diagnosis turns into a negative label, that leads to limiting assumptions.
People assume an HSC is going to be short-tempered, easily upset, disruptive, or hard work.
In reality, your child might not be any of these at all.
(Especially if you’ve been working hard helping them with their coping skills.)
Yet to other people, that diagnosis of ‘highly...
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant.”
- Albert Einstein
Intuition is a powerful thing.
We use intuition multiple times, every single day.
When meeting someone for the first time …
When deciding how appetizing a plate of food looks …
Intuitively knowing the coffee we’re about to drink is likely going to be very hot …
… and then drinking it anyway because we need our caffeine fix.
So why then, do we struggle to use intuition when it comes to our kids?
Often, our gut tells us - “That’s a good decision” or “That’s a bad decision.”
Then before we know it, doubt creeps in.
Maybe we worry about what a family member might say.
What another parent might think.
Or we just get hit with a big wave of plain ol’ self doubt.
But I want to encourage you to trust your gut.
A parent’s intuition is one of the most powerful tools out there for helping HSCs.
Are you dreading the first day back at school?
If so … join the club!
Transitioning from the summer break back into the fall semester is one of the most stressful times of year for HSC parents.
Not only do you have the tension and anxiety of another routine change …
(Maybe just as your kiddo got used to the summer vacation routine) …
But they might have new teachers, new classmates, new subjects and new classrooms.
Maybe even a new school entirely!
It’s the perfect storm for meltdowns to occur.
But it doesn’t need to be this way.
Sure, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy.
But it can be a whole lot easiER when you apply what I’m about to say.
The big thing here is communicating with the school.
Teachers have a tough job.
And it’s easy for them to treat every kid the same.
Unfortunately, that’s not going to serve your child.
This is why it’s so important to reach out ahead of time, and see if you can speak to your kid’s...
Harsh words incoming …
YOU CAN’T DO THIS ALONE.
I know that might sound mean.
But it’s true.
The number of parents I’ve spoken to who are amazing with their HSC, but still struggle day in, day out is downright crazy.
They’re using all the right tactics.
They know about helping their child manage emotions.
And they actually have a really solid game plan for ending meltdowns.
Yet they’re still stuck walking on eggshells, and waking up dreading the day ahead.
Thinking thoughts like -
“How long will it take us to get out the door this morning?”
“Will we even GET to school … And if we do, how long before I get a call from the teacher or the principal?”
“What if they never change, and stay struggling like this forever?”
It’s a vicious cycle.
And one you’re probably dealing with too.
But the #1 problem nearly all these parents have?
It’s that they’re not focusing enough on themselves.
I need to be brutally honest with you for a second …
Rigid, strict parenting is NEVER going to help your kid feel calm and in control.
I know, I know …
‘Traditional’ parenting advice tells us kids respond to discipline and order.
And hey, I’m not about to get super woo woo and new age-y.
But I can tell you from my 10+ years of experience as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, along with everything I’ve learned from helping 700+ families …
Kids in general don’t do well with rigid parenting.
And HSCs can get WORSE if you’re too strict.
So what should you do instead?
Bend over backwards and appease their every need?
Not that either :)
Because when you’re too accommodating, and just do whatever your kid wants…
Well, that’s the fast-track to a needy, demanding kiddo who never learns what “no” means.
The secret is …
It sounds so simple, yet so many parents forget this....